Tag Archives: zack greinke

Not Your Mother’s Winter Meetings Round-Up

(I don’t know your mother.  No promises.)

The Winter Meetings are coming to a close and the path for the Giants has been surprisingly – eerily – straightforward?  They leave Nashville with 2012 heroes Marco Scutaro and Angel Pagan resigned for a comfortable three and four years respectively and now we’re left to decorate our Christmas trees and negotiate a long-term extension with our catcher who, yeah, just won an MVP and stuff.  Of course, the offseason is far from over and neither of the biggest free agents, Hamilton and Greinke, have signed anywhere yet, but for the Giants, the payroll is close to maxed out and aside from a platoon outfielder to rev up Gregor Blanco or a backup cupcake baker to… make cupcakes, I guess, they seem pretty much set.  (I volunteer for backup cupcake baker.)

Against some odds, it looks like nearly the entire 2012 team will be back for another go at it, which is exciting and definitely different than the offseason after the 2010 championship.  I am terribly excited about this.

Meanwhile, pretty much everyone else is in mega-rebuild mode which, if you’re the Yankees, means grabbing old Giants players and if you’re the Cubs means sitting back and being all, We got this (I sure hope they do – I have a running wager that they will win a World Series by 2016, so it better happen).

I think the most interesting development by far from these meetings, though, was the growing possibility that Hamilton will end up back in Texas after all.  I mean, the attraction of DFW obviously made Yu Darvish choose the Rangers, but still, if it happens, it will be unexpected, considering early signs.  I am secretly (well, not secretly anymore) hoping it does happen.  Hamilton in any other colors would be too weird.  People changing teams confuses me.  Yeah, I’m obviously perfectly suited to being a baseball fan.

Speaking of which?  Michael Young: Stay the hell put.  Remember the kid you made cry when you and JD had a catfight?  Yeah.  That kid is a few years older and probably a few years cuter, too.  Not a good idea to not be a Ranger anymore.  Viral Video Land would have a field day.

Diamond Girl

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Why Zack Greinke Needs a Coffee Maker, The Giants Need to Borrow Busch Stadium and Boromir Needs to Talk To Me

So that was a pretty marvelous road trip.  We’ve all heard about those teams that do well at home but are morbidly bad when they go on the road.  Zack Greinke famously offered up bad hotel coffee as his reason for allowing billions of runs on the road.  The Giants might offer up, oh, a ballpark that is permanently socked in with fog and has walls that stretch all the way to Southern California as their reason for not being able to really ever (never) score runs at home.  Greinke needs to just bring his own coffee maker.  The Giants solution is probably not so simple.  Global warming might help.  I’m not an Inconvenient Truth expert, but that’s not a short-term solution.  It’s going to get warmer before it gets colder and stuff, right?

Suggestion time!

a)      Borrow Coors Field.  Prop up San Francisco so that it’s at altitude.

b)      Borrow Busch Stadium.  Make San Francisco 100 degrees all the time.

c)       Get ridiculously good hitter off of waivers.  Ridiculously good hitter who’s also ridiculously expensive, so nobody else will claim him.  Winning the lottery would also help.  ‘Cause we’re kind of poor right now, according to Sabes et al.

d)      Have Ryan Vogelsong pitch every day.  Then we don’t have to score that many runs.  Any runs.  Ryan VogelALLOWSNORUNS.

e)      Score more runs.  Why am I not a GM, guys?  I have the most brilliant ideas.

They did win 15-0 last night.  They may or may not actually need my suggestions.  They’re kicking off a home series against the Rockies tomorrow night (smiley face – the Rockies, people) and things may very well continue being rosy.  With Brian Sabean’s Brainchild Marco Scutaro in the lineup?  Uh-huh.  This may very well continue being rosy.

Also, I am making frappuccino cupcakes right now so I’ll have more patience with the Giants foibles.  Frappuccino cupcakes make everything better.

Diamond Girl

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Jedi Are Kind of Undercover Hipsters, See

Jedi work slowly and at night and stuff.  They don’t make flashy moves, but they make the best ones all the same.  Jedi don’t trade for Zack Greinke, ‘cause seriously, that’s too mainstream and jedi are kind of undercover hipsters.  They don’t do mainstream.  Wow, this is starting to sound like I’m convincing myself.  Which is stupid, because I’m not worried, not worried at all.  I have complete faith in JD and Sabes.  Complete.  They will work slowly and at night and stuff.  Right?  Right?

Also, Melky did not dope.  I mean, none of us thought he did but then we briefly did, for the two seconds when we read the beginning of that tweet, and then we saw he didn’t.  Complicated, I know.

Also, Beat LA.

Must go now.  There madeleines to be made.  I, um, bake when I’m nervous.

 

Diamond Girl

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Ryan Braun Gets Gushy, Zack Greinke Gets Fit Up With Some Sunglasses and Jayson Werth Debuts a New Look

Things that make me giddily excited: a.  the Winter Meetings.  b.  Brownies.  c.  Big, unexpected trades.  Y’all know what I’m talking about.  Even Ryan Braun seemed giddily excited.  Although I have a semi-irrational suspicion that his management had a knife to his back while he spoke to the press.  Because Ryan being that gushy about them is just odd.

Anyway, I hope it goes well for Greinke in Milwaukee.  I don’t know the team and division well enough to have an informed opinion (Brewers diehards, come to my rescue!) on whether they could really contend next year, but I obviously hope they do.  I was sad to see that Jeremy Jeffress was a part of the trade, because he was the sweet guy who threw me a ball at the Brewers game last year.  But I wish him all the best in KC.  

And to congratulate Greinke on his trade, he gets some sunglasses.  Round/heart-shaped face = square sunglasses.  These are by- who else?- Prada.

Greinke with sunglasses.PNG

Which reminded me that at Werth’s Nationals press conference on Wednesday, he debuted a decidedly better look.

werth.jpg
jason werth.jpg

 Before and After

So, true to my word, I’ve fitted him up with some designer sunglasses.

This pair wouldn’t fit on this picture, but here they are, by Giorgio Armani:

sunglasses.gif 

They’re not too big, which would overwhelm his face, but they have soft angles to contrast his angular face.  And they’re only $275.  Total steal for designer sunglasses.  And total steals on designer sunglasses is another thing that makes me giddily excited.

Diamond Girl

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