Tag Archives: ubaldo jimenez

When Life Gives You Lemons of the Crystal Ball Sort…

Well, so, yes.  My crystal ball is a lemon.  My prediction that Matt Cain and the Giants would not be able to reach a deal before Opening Day was flatly wrong.

Then again, when life give you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade.   I’d say Matt Cain’s brand-new extension with the Giants, worth 100 million+ and stretching over five years, is some pretty fantastic lemonade.  Take that, crystal ball.  The timing, of course, was also rather impeccable.  If Giants fans were not already completely amped to have the team back home, we are now completely completely amped.  I am mixed up in a mash of work/write/pack/other assorted random things and cannot make it to AT&T Park tonight, but I can feel the orange-and-black love in the air and it is wonderful.  Matt Cain deserves some pecan rolls and a big ovation.  I can get the pecan rolls out of the way right now, but the ovation may have to wait a bit.  Stay tuned.

Speaking of packing… I am roadtripping in honor of the springtime tomorrow and will be holed up in Dodger-land for Opening Day.  I appreciate your sympathy.  It’s going to be pretty horrible to be surrounded in Dodger Blue all the time, even if it is on a fabulous Malibu beach.

Also, may I just say one quick thing about Ubaldo?  I’m honestly not on either side here, because I have an irrational distaste of Tulo (not completely irrational: remember when he had Party in the USA as his walkup music?) and as much as I do like Jimenez, I think throwing at someone is just bad sportsmanship.  So it’s sort of a pick-your-poison thing for me.  But if Jimenez had to throw at Tulo for some ethical reason that I am unaware of, then I don’t get why he did it at a game when Bud Selig was in attendance.  I mean, was Selig there for the March 29th Rockies-Indians matchup?  Somehow, I doubt it.  (Rockies-Indians in that fascinating, y’all.)  And purely from an evading-justice perspective, I would have suggested to Jimenez that he suggest subtly to his manager to be put in in that game and I suspect he might have gotten a much lighter punishment.  Not that I am aiding and abetting or anything.

Sure, Indians manager Manny Acta said, “Guys do not play different if the Commissioner is at the game.  The majority of the guys didn’t even know he was there,” but I can’t say I believe that.  Who could miss the President-style motorcade and the Brewers pride, radiating all over the stadium?

I kid, I kid…

Diamond Girl

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10 Totally Awesome Things About Last Night

10.  Santiago Casilla.  In case I’ve failed to mention it before, I am not much for Brian Wilson.  In addition to which I fully subscribe to Billy Beane’s theory about how replaceable closers really are.  To think that the Giants are on a five game winning streak in September minus Wilson gives me the tiniest bit of glee as well as good ole’ pride for Casilla, because he is so shining right now. 

9.  Pablo. 

8.  Vogey the Hitter strikes again!  2 for 3, baby.  Hitting pitchers make me happy dance.  Not literally.  I do not dance, happy or otherwise, in reality.

7.  Pablo.

6.  It was just a really great way to start off the mega-roadtrip.  I’m sure the stats would prove me wrong on this, but I think winning the first game of the roadtrip is a big game changer.  Maybe because they listen to better music after they win and that’s helpful, somehow…?

5.  Pablo.

4.  I have a bit of a Rockies vendetta.  Especially after they traded away Ubaldo, who I had a bit of a soft spot for.  So going into Coors Field (The Chamber of Horrors- remember that?) and beating them like that was just awesome.

3.   Pablo.

2.  ::looks around, then whispers::  We are getting crazy close to the Moneyball release!  Which makes me much more excited than it rationally should.  Now don’t tell anyone I told you.  It’d ruin my street cred, people.

1.  Pablo!  Pablo!  Pablo!

Much love for the Panda.  That is all.

Diamond Girl

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An Epic Gathering of All 30 General Managers for a Round Table Chat About the Trade Deadline

Say Morgan LeFay or Gandalf or another wizard/witch of your choice appeared and decided to put all the GMs at a table together, the day before the trade deadline.  I imagine it would look something like this.

Brian Sabean, Giants- (crowing) We got Carlos Beltran!  We got Carlos Beltran!

Kevin Towers, Diamondbacks- Very nice, Brian.  Very nice.  But, you know, we got Jason Marquis from the Orioles and he is remarkably good against your Giants!

Daniel O’Dowd, Rockies- We are, ahem, building up for our future.  We have really good trading pawns.  I mean, the Yankees want Ubaldo in pinstripes!  We are going to be a force to be reckoned with.  (Silence.)  Um, could I get some dramatic music on that please, interns?  (Pause, and then dramatic music starts.)

Ned Colleti, Dodgers- (interrupts) Alyssa Milano was recently spotted at one of our games!  And we sent her a Dodgers onsie for her new baby!

Jed Hoyer, Padres- (leans forward with barely restrained fury) Do not think for one moment, Jon Daniels, that just because you beat me out in being the youngest GM ever, that I am going to give you Heath Bell or any of the other pieces of my utterly fantastic bullpen.  Understood?

Ruben Amaro Jr., Phillies- Very cool that you got Beltran while playing us, Sabes.  (Sabean interjects, “Not that nickname!”) But it is worth noting that we scored the other big bat on the market, Hunter Pence!

Frank Wren, Braves- We are, of course, exploring our options.  We have a bright, uh, future, Braves fans!  Do not lose faith!  We will be doi–

Sandy Alderson, Mets- If I am assassinated by angry Mets fans, please put on my tombstone, “He dealt Beltran because Sabes forces him to…”  (Sabean interjects, “Not that nickname!”)

Michael Hill, Marlins- Life’s a marathon, guys, not a sprint.  And did you happen to see my marathon times, from 2008?  They were pretty rad!

Mike Rizzo, Nationals- I will accept any questions about anything, including, but not limited to, the debt ceiling and how we feel about it here in DC, except questions regarding Jayson Werth and his contract and his supremely low batting average.  Thank you.

Doug Melvin, Brewers- I proudly point you all to my book of “101 Things Every GM Should Do”, which particularly focuses on the thought behind committing to paying Ryan Braun through 2030.  And we also acquired Hairball 2.0 from the Nationals.  Pretty good year, huh?

John Mozeliak, Cardinals- Albert Pujols is not up for trading.  I repeat, Albert Pujols is not up for trading.  I repeat, Albert Pujols is no–

Neal Huntington, Pirates- I’ll just interject right here if no one minds… Ruben, I disagree that it was cool of Sabes (Sabean interjects, “Not that nickname!) to get Beltran.  Nor was it cool of you get Hunter Pence.  We need a big bat!  Hey, Mozeliak, you sure about Pujols?

Walt Jocketty, Reds- I would like to make it clear that we are not selling at this trade deadline.  We are still very much contenders.  And yes, I’ve seen a doctor about my delusions.

Jim Hendry, Cubs- We are building a better future for us.  Better than the last 102 years, that is.  We traded Fukudome for Abner Abreu  and Carlton Smith.  I would like to direct your attention to Carlton’s impressive AAA ERA of 5.46 and the equally impressive fact that Abner shares a last name with Bobby!

Ed Wade, Astros- I’ve loved working with all of you.  Really, I have.  If my job, ahem, something, ahem, happens to it.  You all are the best.  (At this point he takes out a blue and white checkered hankie and dabs his eyes.)

Theo Epstein, Red Sox- (Looking at Wade with distaste.)  You know, Ed, your name has always reminded me of that odd Johnny Depp movie, Ed Wood?  Remember it?  It’s about the arguably worst film maker even.  Ironic.  (He smirks and pauses.  Then continues, with condescending smiles.)  Anyhow, we are winning!  Duh!

Brian Cashman, Yankees- I am being haunted.  (Looks around, petrified.)  Someone believe me, please!   George won’t let me be!  Help!  No, I am not dealing anyone!  No, I am not acquiring anyone!  Just move right alone!

Andrew Friedman, Rays- I’m experimenting with a new way of doing trades.  I talk to players about their gut feelings.  BJ’s is that he won’t be traded.  So we’re just, you know, going with that.  It’s really… cool.

Alex Anthopoulos, Blue Jays- Anyone checked out my boy Jose Bautista’s homerun totals lately?  (Hastily adds:) No, sorry, Pirates-guy.  He’s not For Trading.

John Angelos, Orioles- Yes, we are sellers.  Any other questions?  (Sighs wearily.)

Dave Dombrowski, Tigers- It’s worth noting, O’Dowd, that the Yankees are not the only team interested in Ubaldo.  Justin Verlander is lonely!   And since I’m on a national stage here, I’d also like to reassure the public that our stadium is not in the state of decay it is in Eminem’s music video, “Beautiful”.  Thanks, guys.

Chris Antonetti, Indians- Dombrowski!  We are also interested in Ubaldo!

Kenny Williams, White Sox- We are still recovering from massive storms in the winter and massive heat waves this summer.  The chances of a move are slim, very slim.  I spend my whole life going from heating to AC.  Sorry.

Bill Smith, Twins- Would now be an inappropriate time to call security and make them take that Pirates guy out?  He’s practically trading for our Jason Kubel with his eyes!

Dayton Moore, Royals- Today, we acquired two guys with rocking names: utility player Yamaico Navarro and minor leaguer Kendal Volz.  The future looks good, right KC’ers?!

Jon Daniels, Rangers- I will not, of course, comment on specific players.  We are, however, going to sid-down and explore the possibility of an acquisition that might provide the possibility of improvement for our organization, depending on the conclusions we might potentially come to when we do the afore mentioned siddin’-down.  Interested in siddin’ down, Jed?  Oh, right.  You already said.

Tony Reagins, Angels- The AL West is mine!  Could you please cue up that dramatic music again, interns?  (Jon Daniels snickers.)

Billy Beane, Athletics- Now that the lockout’s ended, I’m sure football fans are excited for some action.  Maybe we could just call it a season and the Raiders could get going a little early.  Hmmm.

Jack Zduriencik, Mariners- You gotta believe… (At which point the New York media choruses, “You gotta bereave…)

And that was that.  The GMs get their too-narrow sunglasses and sporty jackets, power-up their Blackberries and leave.  Until the General Manager Meetings, folks!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Schierholtz’s game-saving throw in the 11th was gorgeous.  Really and truly. I watched it once.  Then twice.  Then three times.  I’ll stop there because it might creep you out to hear how many times I actually watched it.  Really, it almost leaves me with a, “we lost the game, so what?” vibe because that was truly heart-warming.  There’s been more than a little grumbling about Nate’s move to left field to accommodate Beltran, but it paid off, right there.  Right place, right time.  And if someone had to walk off on us the Giant in Cinci?  Then I’m glad it was Edgar.  I will love that guy until the end of my days.

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10 Things You Should Know About the Twins

So.  Interleague play with the Twins kicks off tonight in San Francisco.  As National League people, I figure we could all use a few facts about our opponent for the coming three days.   Here goes.

10.  They play at Target Field.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Target.  But Target Field?  I can’t like that.

9.  Their slogan this year is “This Is Twins Territory”.  You know the point when alliterative becomes corny?

8.  Their catcher (Joe Mauer, that is.  You may have heard of him?) does commercials for Head and Shoulders Shampoo.  I will love this guy forever.  Too great.

7.  They’re named the Twins like the Twin Cities.  À la “Boy meets girl… Romeo and Juliet… Sampson and Delilah… Minneapolis and St. Paul…” –Groucho Marx

6.  Their General Manager is named Bill Smith.  Search that on Wikipedia.  Because of the number of people who come up, they’re all subdivided into industries.   It’s something to see.

5.  They are in second to last place in their division…

4. …but are 9-1 in their last 10…

3.  …and on a 7 game winning streak

2.   Then again, they last played the Padres and we all know how easy it is to beat San Diego.  I mean, just look at the Giants record versus them last year!  Okay, forget it.  Don’t.

1.  Despite how scary the last few Facts About the Twins might seem, they are human.  Very human.  Make that 31-39 on the year.  So, you know.  Not too scary.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Speaking of totally great commercials?  I know I’m a little late to the party, but the MLB Always Epic campaign is brilliance.  Minus the strange Wilson one.  But Fielder’s ball flying over Mongolia and Ubaldo’s overall adorableness?  Perfection.

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This Changes Everything. Again. Plus Irrational Theories About Chuck Greenberg and Giants Trivia.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve missed blogging during this transition and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little skeptical of all the changes (then again, change is inevitable except from vending machines) so if you see some weirdness in the text/format/anything else you can think of, bear with me, will you?

I am not bearing with the Giants. Well, I sort of am. I’m sorely tempted to say that the world is ending, but that isn’t until May 21st, so I’m giving them at least until then.

Firstly, what is up with Ubaldo? I have people in my family who are huge Ubaldo fans and after reading an article about him where he talked about his mother’s cooking in SI, I was kind of converted. I know he’s our NL West rival and everything, but I’m really genuinely curious what’s wrong with him. I mean, he allowed three runs of seven innings today, so he was better, but he just doesn’t look like he’s in first half 2010 form. Any theories? I’ve heard everything from Where’s the closest psych ward? (unfair) to His mechanics are profoundly messed (probably an overreaction).

Anyhow. The important stuff from this game:

DeRosa. J-Sanch. Bochy. Burrell. And Belt. Perhaps. (Are there direct flights from Fresno to Denver? I’m checking my totally great Expedia app.)

DeRosa has been displaying a profound lack of ability to hit and though I’m sure that’s misleading and he’s an awesome baseball player (okay, I’m not sure. Not even close to sure.) is there really time for that? He has the Best Accent In Baseball. There’s tons of voiceover work out there. Where they don’t care if you have a creepy sounding wrist thing going on (wrist phobic person, here).

J-Sanch. Well, he hit. More doubles than Buster on the year. And this one is interrelated to Bochy because it’s the second day in a row that he left in a starter “too long”. Granted, they were different situations. But I’m inclined to take that as a lack of bullpen faith, which is understandable to a point. But then the point ends, you know?

Burrell. Sort of smacked himself into that outfield picture, huh? You probably know I’m not much of a Burrell fan, but he makes more sense as a starting player than late inning replacement, I think. Just like Vogelsong makes more sense in the bullpen, simply because Zito can’t. I don’t think either are lesser roles, really. Just different and some people can’t deal with or perform in one or the other.

And then Belt. Can we say, “This changes everything. Again.” right about now?

Because it does.

They aren’t winning.

And he just scored all of the Grizzlies five runs in a game.

Oh.

Steve Jobs, wanna help?

Jon Daniels did a live chat today, by the way, and someone named Chuck kept asking questions. I have an (irrational? Yes.) theory that it was Chuck Greenberg who is bitter about being pushed out of the organization and is stalking JD and Nolan. Is that unfair as well as irrational? Don’t tell me. I already know the answers.

I need to get to bed early tonight in preparation for my rockin’ party tomorrow in honor of my One Year Blogging Anniversary. Read: desserts and a long blog post. Nobody really wants to party with me about a geeky baseball blog.

Diamond Girl

p.s. Trivia time! Does anyone know the Giants Low A Ball affiliate? City and team name? I just found out today.

The Augusta GreenJackets (Augusta, Georgia, that is). Who knew?

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