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Happy Birthday to Yu!

Happy Birthday to Yu Darvish (Who Is the Best)! In groundbreaking news, he cut and darkened the color of his hair last week and then promptly pitched a fantastic game against Detroit on Sunday. I don’t know if he’s taken advantage of my convenient guide to Dallas yet, but if not, now would be a good moment.

New hair, guys!  Maybe not as groundbreaking as Miley Cyrus meets little-kid-with-scissors-in-hand but still pretty exciting, if you ask me.

We love you, Yu.  We have also heard rumors that you speak perfectly good English and are just pulling all of our legs by using a translator.  In which case we think you should stop that, pronto.  Still, we love Yu.  You.  You know.

Diamond Girl

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Jedi Are Kind of Undercover Hipsters, See

Jedi work slowly and at night and stuff.  They don’t make flashy moves, but they make the best ones all the same.  Jedi don’t trade for Zack Greinke, ‘cause seriously, that’s too mainstream and jedi are kind of undercover hipsters.  They don’t do mainstream.  Wow, this is starting to sound like I’m convincing myself.  Which is stupid, because I’m not worried, not worried at all.  I have complete faith in JD and Sabes.  Complete.  They will work slowly and at night and stuff.  Right?  Right?

Also, Melky did not dope.  I mean, none of us thought he did but then we briefly did, for the two seconds when we read the beginning of that tweet, and then we saw he didn’t.  Complicated, I know.

Also, Beat LA.

Must go now.  There madeleines to be made.  I, um, bake when I’m nervous.

 

Diamond Girl

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The Rangers Lost But the Bubble Cam Made My Night

(Brief blog post because I’m sleepy and Sleepy Emily blog posts go downhill fast.  So, here goes.)

We went to the Rangers-Angels game tonight in Anaheim.  It was my first baseball game ever where I was not in a sweater (and/or winter coat and/or winter boots and/or skiing gloves) by the end, which was kind of fantastic but the game was… not fantastic at all.  At all at all.  The Rangers lost by a final of 7-4 and Matt Harrison, who started for Texas, was pretty awful.  To add insult to injury, Alexi Ogando (Who Is My Favorite Ranger Ever) came in in relief, and melted.  In pure, Barry Zito, ice-cream-cone-in the-sun fashion.  Me and my polka dotted shorts shrunk down into the seat while the Anaheim fans did the wave and stuff and that was that.

 

They lost.  It was ugly.  It’s my second Rangers game of the season – the first was in Oakland – and they’ve lost both times.  Don’t say what you’re thinking because I know you’re thinking it.  I do not (do not) jinx them.  I’m seriously good luck.  The karma just, um, hasn’t itself out quite yet.  But it’s going to.  I am going to have to make it to #3 this year so I can prove the point.  Preferably a Yu start, just ‘cause.  Matt Harrison starts may or may not be out.

Also, at Angels Stadium they do something called a Bubble Cam (is this devilry unique to Anaheim?  Because I’ve never seen it before.) where they show fans on the Jumbotron and distort their faces with funhouse mirror type effects.  It was kind of a snooze until the end when… they showed Yu Darvish.  In the dugout.  With his hat all blown up and distorted.  And he laughed.  He laughed, guys.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Yu Darvish laugh before but it made my night.  I’m not usually much of a fangirl, but believe me when I say I am a Yu Darvish fangirl.

As a said, these kinds of posts go downhill fast.  Good night, people.  Catch you all tomorrow.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Nah, we’re not talking about the Giants game.  That’s probablyreally not a good idea.

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5 Potential Better Closers for the Giants

5.  Neftali Feliz.   To save him from Jon Daniels’ clutches.  Jon Daniels who pokes him in the back with a knife and makes him start and whatever, when Neftali really just wants to close.  No, I have never read anything to this effect, but I can just intuit these things, you know?

4.  Ryan Gosling.  Because he’s good at everything.  He even saves lives.  Not that I read the celeb gossip columns or anything.

3.  LeBron James.  He no longer needs to win rings and prove The Haters wrong, so maybe he should get into baseball.  Closing, specifically.  For the Giants, most specifically.  I hear he’s a great, selfless clubhouse personality, too.

2.  Anyone Billy Beane picks.  Because Billy Beane loves closers.  Courtesy of Moneyball: “You could take a slightly above average pitcher and drop him into the closer’s role, let him accumulate some gaudy number of saves, and then sell him off.  You could, in essence, buy a stock, pump into up with false publicity, and sell it off for much more than you’d paid for it.  Billy Beane had already done it twice, and assumed he could do so over and over.”

1.  Santiago Casilla.  Looking like an increasingly appealing option, after making this list.

Casilla’s had a bad couple little stretch and is now basically unavailable with a blister on his finger.  The masses of craz—I mean, wonderful fans are calling for Sergio Romo to be handed the closer job and while I love Romo, I, um, do not agree.  Even aside from Romo’s recurring injury problems, which could make the job problematic for him, I think Casilla deserves a little benefit of the doubt.

Also, he bats.

If I’d proposed a year or two ago that he would make a fantastic closer, you would have laughed at me.  Every one of you.  Reason I didn’t propose it is that I, too, would have laughed.  So just now I propose that we all just sit back and give Casilla a moment.  Or two.  Or three.  And use now-free moments to meditate on the unfairness of pitching on a team that doesn’t reallyever hit.  Ryan Vogelsong is probably a saint.

In other news, the Rangers have an even more ridiculous number of All Stars than the Giants.

 

Diamond Girl

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The Rough Spot Strategies

Hello, hello!  Yep, that was me who said on Saturday that I thought “the Giants were coming into their own”.  Needless to say, by that I did not mean “were going to very nearly get no-hit by the Rangers bullpen”.  Yesterday’s game was just ugly.

I was excited about Alexi Ogando starting for the Rangers and figured if he shut down the Giants offense, I wouldn’t be too torn up about it, because he’s pretty much my favorite pitcher ever.  And he did do rather well, but then… he injured himself running out a bunt in the fourth before he’d reached his designated pitch count (65) and is now probably headed to the DL.  Also, Tim Lincecum now has the fourth-worst ERA in the National League and Aubrey Huff got the Giants first hit of the game, pinch-hitting in the sixth.

Ouch does not even begin to cut it.

The Giants have fallen to five games back from the Dodgers and the Rangers only narrowly lead the American League West by three games.  Additionally, Texas has won just one more game than San Francisco overall.  Did anyone see that one coming?  The plot has most certainly thickened.  (Also, who predicted that the White Sox would be super awesome this year?  If you say, “I did,” I do not believe you for a second.  Sorry, guys.)

The biggest story out of the weekend, I think, is Timmy, as mentioned above.  He is not looking good.  He is not even looking better.  There is the occasional encouraging sign here and there, but mostly, he is just not helping the Giants, period.  The numbers about their record without his starts is pretty mind-boggling, at least to me.  It’s June 11th and the season has not just started.  Very simply, every starter makes a big, big difference and the difference Lincecum is making is negative.  But as much as that’s all statically inarguable, I wonder how much good it does to repeat it over and over.

For the time being, the Giants have placed a lot of trust in Lincecum (not to mention the money) and the likelihood is, in my opinion, that to get to the playoffs and beyond, they would need him to help them out.  A lot of people are calling for them to skip him for one start and while that could help, I think there is something to be said for just hitting a rough spot.  Sometimes, the best way to get out of those is to simply keep moving.  Other options:

  1. Eating aforementioned player alive.
  2. Burning aforementioned player alive (could work with #1, theoretically).
  3. Tarring and feathering aforementioned player alive.
  4. Trading aforementioned player to the Kansas City Royals.  (Hihi, Jonathan Sanchez and Jonathan Sanchez’s walks.)

There will come a point when it’s not productive for anyone to keep sending Lincecum out, but I don’t think we’re there yet.  The Bud Selig G—I mean, the All Star Game isn’t even here yet.  Which reminds me, I gotta go vote.  I still have not worked up the motivation.  I mean, what would you choose if you could vote for the ASG or make apple cinnamon muffins?

I know.  I agree.  The apple cinnamon muffins.

Diamond Girl

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