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127 Hours? You Got Nothing On Me.

Okay, you have something on me. But not a whole lot. After watching 3 ½ hours of the draft and a 4 hour, 29 minute Giants game I had just enough mental capacity to squeak out, Yes, I would like a saltwater taffy. My arms are, thankfully, still connected to my shoulders, though.

Now that the hangover is starting to wear off, I am ready to break it all down. It was a great baseball day.

The first round of the draft is good and bad. The five minutes in between each pick give the hosts time to break down each player and even interview a few of them. I had a good sense of just about all the 33 players who were picked. The compensation round, with a minute in between each one, was a little bit painful because the hosts were talking just as much, but with no time, and the representatives who announced the picks instead of Selig didn’t seem really suited to public speaking. Today, it’s all audio, no show, and it’s going down so fast I can’t keep up. It’s good and bad. I dig the brevity, but it’s so impersonal.

The people who stood out to me in the draft? (Disclaimer: I know nothing about any of these people. These are just guys who happened to stand out to me. )

Number 1, overall, was Gerrit Cole who’s reportedly Brandon Crawford’s sister’s boyfriend. Keeping this in the family, are we?

Number 3, Trevor Bauer, went to the Diamondbacks. He’s being called Tim Lincecum 2.0, both because his motion is similar and he’s known for his quirky personality. I was kind of pumped to have him in the NL West until Andrew Baggarly suggested that he could potentially come to the Majors in late 2011, if the Arizona is making a playoff run. Against the Giants. Forget it. I wish he was in Kansas or something.

 

Speaking of Kansas! The sweet story of the first round was Bubba Starling, a KC kid who was drafted by the same team. The media was eating it up. I was much more interested in Brandon Nimmo, the highest draftee ever from Wyoming (11th, to the Mets) and Jose Fernandez “Bunny Tales: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion(14th, to the Marlins) who is a Cuban defector, who has already faced a lot of adversity to get here. I am calling a majorly successful career for him. He seems to have a head on his shoulders.

Oakland had the 18th pick and they went with Sonny Gray, a right handed pitcher who I fell in love with after a minute long feature by MLB Network. A) He’s 5”11. At first claimed to be 6”0, then 5”11 ½. I love little guys. B) He sings. He was in High School Musical. C) He has a contagious smile and seems comfortable in front of a camera. The only thing that put me off was his affinity for the movie Sandlot. I hated that movie. I know that’s a terrible baseball fan sin, but it’s true. Sorry.

And then the Rangers pick at 37th, Zach Cone, intrigued me because he was the only guy in the whole draft whose photo was not of him in a baseball uniform. He was wearing a suit. Interesting. You know how Teen Vogue does “style icons of the future”? I have an inkling that he could be a baseball style icon of the future. At least he’s off to a good start.

Then, of course, the important one. Our newest Giant. Joe Panik, a shortstop “with power” out of St. John’s University. Other than his hard nose (thanks, Baseball America! Useful info.) and his unfortunate (well, fortunate for the people who write headlines) last name, I don’t know a whole lot about him. Except that I’m not panicking- sorry, I had to- and he deserves a nice big hug and welcome to this family. Bye-bye, Brandon Crawford. You were fun while you lasted but we have a new shortstop now! Just kidding.

I’m at 650 words here and so my analysis of the game is going to be sort of second round draft-ish. I.e., fast. Timmy’s 1000th strikeout, while glowing and exciting, was overshadowed in my eyes by eight beautiful shutout innings from the bullpen, the birthday boy (Jeremy Affeldt) swinging for Mars and then getting a walk and, of course, the eventual walk-off hit by Freddy Sanchez. He is so underrated it’s not even funny. I love him to death and am reconciling myself to a summer of walk off wins. Could be worse, right?

Now it’s time to plug in my earbuds and get back to the grainy audio of the 500th round. Draft week is too much fun. Congratulations to all who have been picked.

Diamond Girl

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Phone Conversation Between Jon Daniels and Michael Young à la Confessions of a Shopaholic

It’s a rainout day (at last Arizona gets treated to the weather we’ve had here in the Bay Area for days and days and days), so we’re going to be flies on the wall for a phone conversation between Michael Young and Jon Daniels.

Watch this clip from 1:26 and then proceed to reading blog post.

***

Michael Young:  Hello?  Mr. Daniels?  It’s Michael Young.  At last we speak.

Jon Daniels:  Uh.

MY:  How’s your leg? Still broken?

JD:  Uh… it’s, um. It’s much better.

MY:  Good. Then kindly limp, stagger, or crawl to a General Manager on my trade list and trade me.

JD:  Um, absolutely, I would love to.

MY:  Good.

JD:  Except… Oh, my God.

MY:  What?

JD:  My aunt has just fallen from the sky in a freak skydiving accident!

MY:  Enough! Unless I am traded by first thing 9:00 on Wednesday morning…

JD:  Mr. Young, uh…

MY:  …the next step will be… personal contact.  Which we haven’t had since the start of Spring Training.

JD:  Absolutely, 9:00 on Wednesday morning.  I have to go.  I’m so sorry. I’ve got to go.

Gets off phone.

You are getting your own ringtone.

Starts recording:

“Do not answer this call, it’s Michael Young.  Do not answer this call it’s Michael Young.”

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***

And such is the lovely relationship of Michael Young and Jon Daniels (and, you know, Rebecca Bloomwood and Derek Smeath).

Diamond Girl                 

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The Rangers Sound Like Foster Children

Well.  That was depressing.

First the earthquake and tsunamis.  Our thoughts and prayers are with all those affected.

And then this article.

David Murphy: “I know for the time Chuck was here, he was an awesome guy. He seemed like he was steering in the right direction… it has been a constant revolving door around here. We’re used to people coming and going.”

Ian Kinsler: “Chuck was a great guy from the times that I talked to him. It seemed like he had some good ideas.  Other than that, I don’t know what happened.”

Michael Young: “I like Chuck.  Chuck is a good guy. Apart from that I don’t have anything to say.”

Jon Daniels: “Nothing has changed.”

Oh.

We all like Chuck.

Chuck is a great guy.

We all have nothing else to say.

He was the coolest CEO around.  He answered his fans on Twitter.  Heck, he had a Twitter at all.

But we are used to people coming and going.

And we have nothing else to say.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Guess who?  It actually took me a little while.  Hashtag: #badfacialhair.

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In 5 Minutes: What’s Trending on Day 5 of Spring Training 2011

*I bought my first tickets for the 2011 season yesterday.  Way beyond excited.

*Another day, another piece of not entirely positive news about Joe Martinez.

*If you use melted chocolate instead of a cocoa powder in your hot chocolate you eliminate the possibility of grounds at the bottom.  (Diamond Girl with Useful Advice strikes again!)

*This video made me giddily excited.  It’s one thing to miss baseball in the offseason but it’s quite another to see it at your fingertips.  Zito and Lincecum doing bullpen sessions together is one of the greatest things ever.

*I know it’s Day 5.  I know it’s Day 5.  But every mention of little injuries freaks me out.  Stay healthy, brothers.  Stay healthy.  I am not prone to being panicky, but in this situation…

*Brian Wilson stated that the beard may not last the season.  I started writing an obituary for it.

*The Albert Pujols saga has progressed to the We Are So Puzzled We Are Not Even Going There stage.

*The Michael Young saga went there a long time ago.

And there you have it.  Day 5 in 5 minutes.  Who knew a sleepy Friday in February could be that exciting?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I ventured out into the rain to see Justin Bieber in 3D because virality is one of my passions in life (seriously).  All I could think the whole time is, “Is Scooter Braun [his manager] related to Ryan?”  And, you know, “Why is Justin trying to poke my eye out?”  I am with Roger Ebert on the whole 3D thing.

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5 Cooler Cars for Brian Wilson and an Over-Under on Michael Young

There are so many things I could write about today.  The fact that AJ Burnett is either delusional or his therapist told him to repeat positive affirmations to anyone and everyone.  The fact that the World Class Good Guy seems to be morphing into a World Class Bad Guy before our very eyes.  The fact that Mat Latos is on a bizarre anti-SF rampage.  And then the whole, “is Aaron Rowand mad?” thing (although no one except me seems that fascinated by that).  What I actually want to write about is the thing that made me wonder if there was indeed a minimum age to be in the Majors.  Apparently, they let pre-adolescents in.  Or at least, people with very preadolescent senses of humor.

Andrew Baggerly of the San Jose Mercury News (who, by the way, is killing all the other writers with his coverage of Spring Training) reports that Brian Wilson’s new ride is a fully decked out police cruiser.  With a loudspeaker.  On which he announces his arrival in the morning with, “I’m heeeere!”

If I gave my little brother a toy police cruiser for his birthday, yes, he might do that.  But that is no excuse for Brian.  My brother is 20-odd years younger than him.  That’s not what they mean when they say, “unlock the child within you”.  At least I hope it isn’t.

If he thinks the Obamas having a water dog is not cool, then I would like to say that driving a police cruiser is, um, not cool either.  Just saying.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get put in Bad Fan Prison.  But that is not cool.

So, of course, I made him a list of 5 cooler cars.  If you are slightly or very puzzled by this and the last paragraph, watch this quick episode of Life of Brian.

5.  Ferrari.  I don’t actually get the obsession with Ferrari’s and that they’re everybody’s dream car.  Except for the name.  I melt for Italian names.  (My father just alerted me that his parents had several Ferraris, which I was not previously aware of.  I know about the Emilio Pucci dresses and the Chanel boots they have passed down, but, until now, nothing about the hip cars.)

4.  Prius.  This is the cool of the future.  ::Joe Martinez yells, “The car from the Ghost Writer!”  I ignore::  Set the trends, Willy!

3.  A Chrysler.  I am being a shameless ad sucker here, but I am still into that Superbowl Chrysler ad.

2.  An old school VW bus.  You know, the kind Timmy wanted.  They may not think that’s cool down in Hollywood but it’s way cool up here.

1.  And Joe said that coolest one of all.  The car from The Ghost Writer.  I have referenced this before, here.  That beautiful car has an intelligent GPS that will lead you to the murder spot of your predecessor at work.  If that isn’t cool, what is?

There.  No one can accuse me of not giving useful advice now.  I just got you your baseball news and a list of cool cars, lumped into one.

I am calling grocery stores all over the Bay Area trying to find one that stocks mass amounts of popcorn.  This Michael Young saga may last a long time.  I still have my Team Jon shirt, but I’ve run out of popcorn.  Over or under, 40 days and 40 nights?  ‘Cause I need to know so I can stock up.

Diamond Girl

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