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The Only Place That They Make Dr Pepper According to its Original Formula Is Playing the Place That Actually Invented It In the World Series.

For any of my readers who are still undecided as to who to root for when the World Series kicks off tomorrow, I’ve created a handy list.  Mark your preferences as you go and at the end, tally it up and know your team!

One thing to the two states seem to agree on?  Square dancing.  They both have it as their official state dance.

The Lone Star State vs. The Home of the Blues

The only place in the world that they make Dr Pepper according to its original formula vs. the place they actually invented it

Monarch Butterflies vs. Honey Bees

Friendship vs. The Welfare of the People

The first suspension bridge in the history of the US vs. the tallest recorded person in medical history

A cattle population of nearly 16 million vs. the largest beer producing plant in the nation

A name that means “Friends/Allies” vs. one that means “Town of Large Canoes”

The invention of domed stadiums vs. the invention of the ice cream cone

Mockingbird vs. Bluebird

The place they made the largest oatmeal cake in the world vs. the place where they consume more barbeque sauce per capita than anywhere else

The world’s largest parking lot vs. Laura Ingalls Wilder

A place you can be legally married by introducing someone as your husband or wife three times vs. a place where bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws are illegal

And no, neither of those last two are corroborated.  I somehow doubt their validity in fact.  But hey, if they help you choose allegiances, what does it matter?

Diamond Girl

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Well, So, The Cardinals.

I have avoided talking about the Cards up until now because I had a somewhat irrational belief that if I just ignored them (and, yeah, clicked my heels together and said, “There’s no place like home!”) they would just vaporize into the mist of Eliminated Baseball Teams.

Not so, apparently.

The NLCS is all tied up, 2-2, between St. Louis (I will not call it St. Lulu.  I repeat, I will not call it St. Lulu.) and it’s altogether a lot tighter than I would have expected.  And it’s killing me.

It’s not that I hate St. Louis, because really, they’re a fun team and they beat out the Braves to the wildcard, which is enough to make me love just about anyone.  Rationally, if they beat the Crew, I would sigh and be done with it, after mourning for the disappearance of Axford’s mustache from my TV screen.  But as it is, I can’t stand them at all.

It goes back to ancient history, I think.  Not ancient in the sense of those awesome reliefs from the 8th century, B.C.  Just in the sense of coughcough2006coughcough.

Anyone else remember?  I’m sure you do.  The Mets epic downfall in the NLCS.  What some people called the greatest collapse in the history of everything (that is, Major League Baseball).  I remember that series vividly and the serious case of Baseball Fan Heartbreak that followed.  And then watching the Cardinals go on to the win the World Series?

Not fun.  Not fun at all. 

And that, my friends, is why I can’t bring myself to even marginally like the Cardinals even though I’m sure they’re a totally lovely group of guys.

Well, that and the fact that I am IN BEAST MODE!  Duh!

Diamond Girl

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When Life Gives You Lights Out, Play “Lights”!

I gave Tony La Russa a call last night.  He didn’t pick up.  So I texted him and said, “Nice try, RuRu.”  He didn’t answer.  I can’t decide whether he was more offended by the message or the nickname.  Then again, one good turn deserves another and you think it was fun to stand on the 3rd base line for half an hour on Opening Day?

In all seriousness, I don’t think the lights going out (and the ensuing 15 minute delay with one pitch to go til the end of the game) was a conspiracy and it’s a blip on the map in the long, drawn out and- dare I say it?- torturous win over St. LuLu.  It featured some stellar hitting and relief pitching, with Sergio Romo totally redeeming himself and me falling more and more in love with Brandon Crawford.  Manny Burriss had a big moment, which made us Manny-ites happy and then there was Nate Schierholtz.  What can I say about him except that I still can’t spell his name and it’s about time!  He’s finally playing like he should, you know?  And it’s so gratifying to watch him and a nice revelation from the endless parade of slumping outfielders.  Then there was Aubrey.  I can’t say that might be a sign he’s heating up.  I’m become a total skeptic about him.  I need to see a whole lot more before I’ll laugh and talk really fast with the only decipherable words being, “slow starter”. 

I just realized that this is actually a four game set (why, Bud?  Why?) so my eyes will be peeled for any more suspicious stuff at Busch Stadium and I will be praying that Arizona cools off a little before we go out there in two weeks.

Around the league, the Angels team flight had an emergency landing (aaah!) Dodgers have a fire and an unfit parent on their hands (I feel for them.  I really do.) and Kansas City had an incredibly sweet proposal which I keep watching over and over, trying to decide if I think it was really a surprise or not.  I vaguely think it was all planned.  And yeah.  Santa doesn’t exist.  Sorry.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Bye-bye, Ryan Rohlinger and happy travels in the Rockies organization!  We’ll miss you ’round here.

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5 Cooler Cars for Brian Wilson and an Over-Under on Michael Young

There are so many things I could write about today.  The fact that AJ Burnett is either delusional or his therapist told him to repeat positive affirmations to anyone and everyone.  The fact that the World Class Good Guy seems to be morphing into a World Class Bad Guy before our very eyes.  The fact that Mat Latos is on a bizarre anti-SF rampage.  And then the whole, “is Aaron Rowand mad?” thing (although no one except me seems that fascinated by that).  What I actually want to write about is the thing that made me wonder if there was indeed a minimum age to be in the Majors.  Apparently, they let pre-adolescents in.  Or at least, people with very preadolescent senses of humor.

Andrew Baggerly of the San Jose Mercury News (who, by the way, is killing all the other writers with his coverage of Spring Training) reports that Brian Wilson’s new ride is a fully decked out police cruiser.  With a loudspeaker.  On which he announces his arrival in the morning with, “I’m heeeere!”

If I gave my little brother a toy police cruiser for his birthday, yes, he might do that.  But that is no excuse for Brian.  My brother is 20-odd years younger than him.  That’s not what they mean when they say, “unlock the child within you”.  At least I hope it isn’t.

If he thinks the Obamas having a water dog is not cool, then I would like to say that driving a police cruiser is, um, not cool either.  Just saying.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get put in Bad Fan Prison.  But that is not cool.

So, of course, I made him a list of 5 cooler cars.  If you are slightly or very puzzled by this and the last paragraph, watch this quick episode of Life of Brian.

5.  Ferrari.  I don’t actually get the obsession with Ferrari’s and that they’re everybody’s dream car.  Except for the name.  I melt for Italian names.  (My father just alerted me that his parents had several Ferraris, which I was not previously aware of.  I know about the Emilio Pucci dresses and the Chanel boots they have passed down, but, until now, nothing about the hip cars.)

4.  Prius.  This is the cool of the future.  ::Joe Martinez yells, “The car from the Ghost Writer!”  I ignore::  Set the trends, Willy!

3.  A Chrysler.  I am being a shameless ad sucker here, but I am still into that Superbowl Chrysler ad.

2.  An old school VW bus.  You know, the kind Timmy wanted.  They may not think that’s cool down in Hollywood but it’s way cool up here.

1.  And Joe said that coolest one of all.  The car from The Ghost Writer.  I have referenced this before, here.  That beautiful car has an intelligent GPS that will lead you to the murder spot of your predecessor at work.  If that isn’t cool, what is?

There.  No one can accuse me of not giving useful advice now.  I just got you your baseball news and a list of cool cars, lumped into one.

I am calling grocery stores all over the Bay Area trying to find one that stocks mass amounts of popcorn.  This Michael Young saga may last a long time.  I still have my Team Jon shirt, but I’ve run out of popcorn.  Over or under, 40 days and 40 nights?  ‘Cause I need to know so I can stock up.

Diamond Girl

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500 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday

No, you misread the title.  It said 5 facts to brighten your Blue Monday.

Not that my Monday needs any brightening.  But I just read that today is something called Blue Monday- a day called by “scientists” the most depressing day of the year.  Reading that was the most depressing thing that’s happened to me all day, honestly, but I figure some of you might need brightening.  So.  5 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday.

5.  Josh Hamilton left the hospital today, after being there for five days with pneumonia.  Wishing him a smooth rest-of-recovery.

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4.   Albert Pujols will not leave the Cardinals.  If we repeat that enough times, it will totally come true.  Join hands.  Positive affirmations only.

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3.  Moneyball comes out in 249 days.  I am still not sold on the whole Brad Pitt thing but I am, evidently, counting the days ’til it comes out.

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2.  And since we’re doing the whole countdown thing here, it’s 73 days until the Ultimate Day, a.k.a. Opening Day.  And I’ll let you in on a little secret.  I just realized the home opener is on a special day for me.  No, I’m not getting married or moving to the set of Lord of the Rings.  Nothing like that.  It’s a, you know, recurring special day.  I will reveal more to my obviously riveted audience later.

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1.  The Giants won the World Series.  Say it out loud, for good measure.  I know it’s become sort of common knowledge now, but it does serve to remember it.

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And here’s to a less depressing tomorrow.  ::clinks orange juice glasses::

Diamond Girl

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