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This One Has a Short Title: Blissful Ignorance.

You know what’s a completely surreal feeling?  Sitting in a dark concert, having fasted from internet or radio for going-on-four hours so as not to know the World Series outcome, watching a performer who I am still somewhat convinced is a demi-god.  And yet knowing that someone is already the World Champion.  That it’s been decided.  That the series is over.  It was a lot more of an interesting psychological experiment than I meant it to be.  I was actually just caught in an epic overbooking of myself.

Allow me to explain!

I bought those concert tickets long before Game 7 was on the radar screen and travelled to Los Angeles for it.  For a second (okay, more than a second) I considered playing hookey but I ended up going and yeah, the singer, Philippe Jaroussky, was all demi-god-ish and brilliant and sang three encores and I swooned and got his autograph (it’s perfectness is slightly decreased by the fact that it says, “To Emily” not “To Diamond Girl”, but he was French and I didn’t want him thinking Americans normally have names like Diamond Girl, so…) and was more than, much more than, glad that I went.

So I then plugged my ears, did not turn on my iPod or talk to anyone, spent two hours in LA traffic (I am gritting my teeth together at the thought) and then, around midnight, turned on my television and speed watched the game, through the seventh inning.  At which point, by some strange luck, the DVR informed me that the recording had ended, because it conflicted with a taping of Grey’s Anatomy Desperate Housewives of Kansas.  Or something.  So after swirling my ice water around in my glass and screaming at the screen for a minute, I took a deep breath and checked my trusty At Bat App.

And my blissful ignorance went up in a cloud of Southern California smog.

I stared for a good long moment.  And then for a few more good long moments.  I tried to muster some congratulatory feelings towards St. Louis, but they didn’t really flow easily.  Even more so when I saw David Freese getting his hip little sports car.  I am going to need a little while to get over this one.

But yeah, congratulations to the Cardinals.  Because really, they had an amazing, bizarre year and Showtime now has a darn perfect team to follow next year.  And Texas put up a heck of a fight.  It was a dramatic, basically well-played series overall and both teams are really, truly great.

And now the season is over.  That’s the part I can’t get over.  I keep expecting there to just be another game, another anything, but there isn’t.  Free agency kicks in pretty soon, the Hot Stove is heating up and we have a million and one Giants and Rangers topics to break down and beard choices to dissect.

So this is where I say thank you all for following this year and all that jazz and wonderfulness.   Let’s comfort each other at this difficult time.  I, for my part, promise frequent offseason posts, in between Philippe videos, and photos of my blue Coraline hair on Halloween.  Because I know you totally want to see it.

Xs and Os, my friends.  Xs and Os.  We can survive these months together.  Listen to Aubrey Huff sing, for starters.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Tip of the day: all you need to get into a snazzy, members-only lounge with brazed lamb chops and a bunch of desserts and the best coffee in the greater Los Angeles area and candlelit tables without paying is an adorable little brother.  I mean, it worked for me.  And it was awesome.  That is what I will be meditating on in the cold winter days to come.

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Play-By-Play of Me During Game 6 of the World Series

 Please note: I am not usually (exactly) this bi-polar.  Not usually.

At the end of the first half inning- Rangers 1, Cardinals coming up

This game is going to be so good!  Super stoked!  Yay!

At the end of the first inning- Rangers 1, Cardinals 2

One of those games, huh?  Okay, whatever.  The Rangers can do that better than the Cards.

At the middle of the second inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2

See?  What did I say above?  Texas can totally do this.

At the end of the second inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2

*whistles happily to self*

At the middle of the third inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2


At the end of the third inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2


At the middle of the fourth inning- Rangers 3, Cardinals 2

They heard me!  Somebody scored!

At the end of the fourth inning- Rangers 3, Cardinals 2

No, you weren’t supposed to score too.

At the middle of the fifth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3

I think baseball should be re-named ping-pong.

At the end of the fifth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3

Or not.  No more ping-pong for us.

At the middle of the sixth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3

What’s that, a zero on the board?  *displays googley eyes*

At the end of the sixth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 4

Okay, I was completely expecting that.

At the middle of the seventh inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4

Three runs and caprese pasta for dinner.  Mmmmmm.

At the end of the seventh inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4

No runs.  Salad with avocado.  Even bigger mmmmmmmm.

At the middle of the eighth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4

So what’s for dessert?  And what should I tweet when this is over?

At the end of the eighth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 5

Should I just tweet or post on Facebook, too?

At the middle of the ninth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 5

I am not a nail-biter, but now I am getting genuinely goosebumpy.  They’re about to… you know…

At the end of the ninth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 7

(This is where Diamond Girl died)

At the middle of the tenth inning- Rangers 9, Cardinals 7

(and this is where she was shockingly resurrected)

At the end of the tenth inning- Rangers 9, Cardinals 9

(and then died again)

At the middle of the eleventh- Rangers 9, Cardinals 9

(and then decided, screw it, she was eating her pumpkin pie, this isn’t ending any time soon)

At the end of the eleventh inning- Final score, Rangers 9, Cardinals 10

And then it ended.  I scraped the last bits of pumpkin pie crust off my plate, stuck said plate in the sink and stared at the TV screen, with a mingling of shock, heartbrokenness and insane desire for Game 7 to start already.  Seriously, how much hours until the 5:00?  (Which is when the Rangers will… you know…)

Diamond Girl

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Letter to the Weather Gods

Dear Weather Gods,

In case I have failed to mention it before, I really love you and your rain.  I love the way it smells and sounds and looks.  I spend my summer bowed down in front of the window praying to you for rain (sort of).  But I can also never say enough times that context is everything.

Hear that?  Yes?  So then what on earth would motivate you to schedule a downpour, perfectly timed to allow the Cardinals to use their ace-guy on short rest in the possible elimination game?  Really, what?

If it’s money you’re after, I can provide it.  In large quantities.  I mean, you’ll have to wait until that lame-looking flick with Ben Stiller and Eddy Murphy comes out next month and teaches me the ins and outs of robbing penthouses, but after that I will deliver.

If this is a power thing, then y’all need therapy.  I get that you’re better than us and can affect even things as important as the World Series, but really, we all learned that lesson way back when, when you did your thing for forty days and forty nights.  And everyone died.  Time to move on.

If you think this is funny in some way, then head over to a local comedy club and regale the patrons with this story.  When no one laughs, come back to me and apologize.

If it’s a Cardinals win you’re after… I don’t even know what to say.  Except that you should really choose your allegiances more carefully because that reflects really poorly on you.  May even change my opinion of rain.  Seriously.

Stay safe.  And drizzly.


Diamond Girl

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The Cardinals Haunt My Dreams (No, Really)

I had a bad dream last night.  My mom (sorry, Mom) was convinced that my family needed more pets than just my fish (who, for the record, I did not end up re-naming Carlos) and wanted us to get two birds.  I wasn’t crazy about the idea, but fine.

What kind of birds do you want to get, I asked?

Cardinals, she answered, with a kind of evil glint in her eyes.

Cute and cuddly pet?  Uh, no.

I woke up and wondered if I had somehow made it all up, because it seemed way to perfectly symbolic for my feelings at the moment to be true.  I mean, I did somehow make it up, seeing as it was my dream, but it was completely unconscious.  Which is what makes it basically very weird with a capital W at the beginning.

Anyhow, last night’s game was certainly nightmare worthy and truly painful to watch.  There are a million ways to second guess the team’s choices (read: Napoli at first base), but in reality it was just a plain ole’ blowout.  They happen.  Horribly timed, yes.  Unheard of, no.  I would like to believe it was just a fluke, too, but I am starting to have a nasty feeling that the Rangers of one of Those Teams, that has trouble in the World Series.   I hope they will prove me wrong tonight and in the next three games after that, but we shall have to see.  In any case, I am sure I speak for everyone when I say that mostly, I just want to see good baseball out there, no matter who wins or loses.  Last night was not good baseball.

Except for, well, Albert.  Tip of the beloved white beanie to him for his amazing trio of home runs.  It couldn’t have happened to a better guy, other than his Cardinal-ness.

Speaking of Cardinals… let’s just nip the whole giving-Emily-nightmares-thing right in the bud, shall we?  Please and thank you.

Diamond Girl

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This One Goes Out to People Who Are Not Interested in the World Series

Dear People Who Are Not Interested in the World Series,

Look, if you don’t want to be interested, that’s fine with me.  I have a bit of an unfortunate hipster thing going on (minus the fedora and Adele obsession, thankfully) so I like it when I’m going against the trends and all that.

But I think you’re missing out.  Seriously.  And there seem to be an awful lot of you, which is what worries me.  Why would you not be interested in a Cards/Rangers matchup?  I could list all the reasons it is going to be awesome and amazing and loads of fun, but I make too many lists on this blog, so I will spare you.

I just don’t understand.  If this has to do with the cities and prejudices against them, then graduate pre-school and talk to me then.  Sorry, did that sound terrible?  I’m just a wee bit frustrated.  The players are not from the city.  The management is not from the city.  Sometimes the owners aren’t even from the city.   All stadiums pretty much look the same, especially on TV, so what is this all about?

The Rangers are a really, really fun team to watch.  Everyone I’ve met who’s actually just watched them play baseball agrees with that.  I have less experience with the Cardinals, but as far as I know they’re pretty darn fun as well.  Teams and cities seem to come with so much baggage and that people would skip a World Series on that account makes me sad.  Say it’s just a team you think is dull.  The Series can still be fun!  It’s like the Academy Awards.  Sure, there are lame years, but it’s still the biggest award show in the film industry.  Why not give it a peek and see how it goes?   And I don’t even think that this is a lame year at all.

So could y’all throw the prejudices out the window and enjoy these last seven or so games of baseball?  March is a long way off.

On a more pleasant note… Happy World Series Wednesday!  I am curling up with my bite-sized chapters of the Economics of Life, which are perfectly suited to the ad breaks and some trail mix and getting seriously stoked for this.

Diamond Girl


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