Tag Archives: september baseball

A Consolatory Beanie and Some Conspiracy Theories

Hello, people, and apologies for my absence!  I’ve had a bit of a crazy few days/been quietly enjoying the fact that we have meaningless September baseball/Green Day has a new album out and so there’s that/my silly sister is moving halfway across the world and making me all weepy.

Meaningless September baseball is surprisingly fun, though – especially when the team knocks my sparkly flip-flops off and makes it seem like it is completely meaningful.  It’s a bit like Spring Training, except with cinnamon gingerbread lattes and a guaranteed playoff spot.  They just finished up their last homestand, taking two out of three from the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but that’s a different story) and are hitting San Diego and LA one last time to wrap up the season.

Matt Cain did everything and then some, Barry Zito did everything and then some and Tim Lincecum kind of floundered and made us all feel badly for criticizing him because, guys, he missed the celebration when they clinched and looked altogether like a sad puppy.

I mean, he always kind of looks like a sad puppy.  But now more than ever.  I want to hand him a consolatory beanie and say, It’s meaningless September baseball!  You’ll be fine!  (Or you won’t be.  And you’ll develop a massive chip on your shoulder about it, a la Barry, and then be fantastic a few years later so, lo, everything I said was true and you will be fine even if it’s not necessarily all that soon.)

The Giants were a sight to see travelling yesterday evening, because it was rookie hazing day.

One question, though.  A few people said they hazed the rookies and sophomores, because they didn’t do it last year.  Is that true?  Because you know how I love a good conspiracy theory.  And this one is too good to pass up.  Maybe… they were possessed by magnetic-drawn robots that love metal, but mysteriously hate dress-up.  Maybe… they had someone on the team who had a fear of clowns (common phobia!) and for a reason to be named later, that was the only costume they could have done.  Or maybe Sabes was in a nasty mood and rained on their parade.  Which isn’t all that good a conspiracy theory at all.

Or maybe it was reported on at the time and I just have the memory of a goldfish?   Yes.  That seems likely.

Diamond Girl

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Why Johnny Depp Should Be a PA Announcer and the Rangers Should Have Sprayed Orange Juice

I adore Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the 2005 version.  I can’t find the clip online, but some of you probably know the scene when the children first come to the factory when you can hear Willy Wonka’s voice (Johnny Depp) saying “Please enter.”, “Close the gates.”  The voiceover is fantastic.  So, you know, when Renel retires he could take over?  We couldn’t pay him as much as Tim Burton, maybe, but we could give him some nice homemade brownies.  Mmmmm… homemade brownies… I volunteer to make them.


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Picture of brownies is my own, not a stock photo.  Photo of Willy Wonka is not mine.  ::Cue “duhs”::

More importantly, perhaps… the Rangers clinched in Oakland on Saturday, which made me very happy.  I didn’t end up going to any of the game but 2011 is filled with promise.  I will see them.  So I know CJ Wilson doesn’t drink and he said he was going to wear swim goggles and not drink any of it and Josh Hamilton, a recovering alcoholic, skipped the party altogether.  In this situation, why not create a new idea so that you can include all your players?

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This photo is obviously taken by me, with my exclusive pass to the Yankees clubhouse.  Once again, cue the duhs.

I honestly hate the champagne parties at all.  They are so contrived and commercialized at this point, that I don’t really think they’re fun or exciting.  The locker rooms are all taped off for easy clean-up and the cameras are all set up.  I am still hoping for a team to come out and show their unique player and coach personalities and use orange juice and make a real mess.  Why orange juice?  It’s healthy, not tremendously sticky and, I mean, no one’s in rehab for orange juice addiction.  It’s also unexpected.  The Rangers have battled bankruptcy, have a low payroll, young GM… why not embrace that and show respect and appreciation for your players who don’t drink alcohol and use orange juice? 

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Um, no.  Not taken by me.  I have better ways to waste my time than photographing orange juice bottles.

Since the Rangers didn’t do it, the Giants could.  Or do you think the league would make them die half the juice black?

Diamond Girl

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Let’s Have a Hand for the Base Coaches!

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That’s the bumper sticker I want on my car.  If I had a car.  Dream car, by the way, is a BMW, like the one in The Ghost Writer.  Beautiful car and the GPS system can take you to the last place the predecessor at your job, who was murdered, visited.  It might even lead you to the same fate.  One more reason to want that car.

Anyway, my point is: I © Tim Flannery.  He won my heart forever when he told the story about him and Bochy on Inside the Clubhouse, Spring 2010.  “I’m 1-0, buddy.  Where’s the press conference?”  Great story. 

So my fondness for Flann has led me to notice that when the base coaches are announced (for the Giants, Roberto Kelly and Tim Flannery), no one cheers.  Except me, of course.  If you’re at the park sometime and hear someone cheering when the names are announced, look for me.  Or one of my family members or friends, smirking and clapping, in honor of my absence.

I know some people have a problem with Flannery’s coaching, but as Mychael Urban said, “he’s too entertaining to move.”  So for unbelievers, I suggest turning him into a cheerleader.  As you probably know, I am pioneering an idea for traditional, female cheerleaders in baseball, but MLB may not be ready for women in sparkly outfits to be on the field, so former coaches might be a good alternative.  Tim gets really into it and I think he’d be a fantastic cheerleader.

However you feel about it, please cheer next time the base coaches are announced.  In honor of me.  Thank you.

And about the new Giants new ad campaign, “It’s September Inside”?   You don’t say.  Last I checked it was September outside, too.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Just to finish up on the fashion topic, CJ Wilson said, “I normally wear black […] I just feel like if you’re going to look bad, you don’t stick it out in black.”  We have found our MLB player with the best fashion sense.  Best hair, best fashion sense.  I think he’s going to win it all, along with his team.

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Is A Sense of Style a Key to Success in Baseball?

Summer has come and passed…

September is here (yes, I am aware that I am nearly two weeks late on that particular profound observation) and I have missed an obscene number of games, in the past week and a half, but I got to watch today.  Other than today, they’ve been playing good ball, which is almost enough to lead me to believe that I jinx them when I watch/listen.  Not really.  I think fans who feel they can jinx a team are being self-centered.  Barry Zito facing his shoes directly south in his locker before a start may have an impact, but what I eat for dinner is unlikely to.

Anyway.  Through this pennant race I’ve been thinking… what really distinguishes one team from another?  Good hitting, good pitching, good defense… they’re all hard to come by, but not that hard to come by.  I’ve become especially aware of this since watching Little League games where you see plenty of physically talented kids but realize that attitude is huge.  And team chemistry, which is tremendously corny sounding but strikes me as true.  As Aubrey Huff said, “I thought last night about what Bengie said to us on the bus when he found out he had been traded and was saying goodbye: ‘You guys have something special.'”

What is the something special?  Obviously not good fashion sense.

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Aubrey Huff at the annual Play-Ball Luncheon in his famous (or should I say infamous?) purple plaid pants.

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And Brian Wilson in his not-so-famous but equally hideous turquoise shirt at the same event.  I commend him for his obvious knowledge that turquoise is the color of 2010 but… not on you, Brian.  Sorry.

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Tim Lincecum at the All-Star game.  Three words for a hat at a press conference: it ain’t cool.

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Not just a hat.  Not just a white hat.  A white hat on TV.

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My theory is supported by the fact that the Yankees are a good team but don’t know how to dress.  The sunglasses.  The handkerchief.  The pose.  

So if it’s not fashion, is it something intangible?  Or is it just who is bought with the cold, hard cash?  What really distinguishes a winning team from a losing team and at what point does a team lose their “winning team” title?

I think money and acquisitions definitely play a big part but I think there’s also a big intangible part.  I loved the part of the Stand Up 2 Cancer telethon where they talked about baseball as a miracle.  It is.  And we are watching something really miraculous unfold in San Francisco right now.  (Other miraculous thing?  I added the “cisco” part to San Fran.  That’s a first.)  I think the “It’s Magic Inside” ad campaign was remarkably on the mark.

I’m curious to hear all your opinions (not just on the clothes, on what distinguishes teams).  And I want to be in San Diego for this final game of the series.  Wearing something beautiful.  Aviator Prada sunglasses are on the top of my list.  I tried them on at Saks Fifth Avenue a few days ago and… wow.  The design of those is miraculous, too. 

Diamond Girl

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