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My Paris Hilton’s BFF Shoes, The Zito Breakdown and Mark DeRosa’s Look Alike

My breakdown of Zito, that is.  Not him breaking down in his Range Rover or something.

I’ve spent the past few days doing things like discovering I can only make good ad roughs while chewing watermelon gum and watching the Academy Awards and wondering what is wrong with James Franco (a lot) and deciding that Halle Berry was best dressed, hands down and then having a bit of a Shopalohics Anonymous moment at a shoe store today when I tried on these five inch Steve Madden heels that were covered in gold glitter.  It wasn’t until The Sister alerted me that I looked like Paris Hilton’s BFF that I ditched them.

Most important event of these days though?  The fact that Real Live Baseball Before Your Very Eyes is happening.  It is enough to make me glow more than any glittery Madden heels for days on end.

The game today was a hard one for me, though.  I am a huge Zito fan (you knew that, didn’t you?) and a little apprehensive for his first start, albeit a Cactus League start, since the whole playoff roster thing.  Well, I’ll just say this wasn’t exactly comforting.  I mean, physically it’s not surprising he would be a little off in his first start, but I think the mental thing is a bigger deal for him.  My personal opinion is that his little plans every year are to blame.  I’m sure every player has some sort of plan, but with Zito it always seems to get out.  And they include messing with his pitches or his motion in a big way.  He seems to way overthink it (hey, don’t we all?  He just does it very publicly).  I believe he is a premiere pitcher and a Cy Young Award winner and he just needs to cut the plans and pitch.  Mychael Urban told me that it’s a “go back to roots” thing this year.  I understand that conceptually, but it is, for better or for worse, nine years later than those roots and that doesn’t seem like it’s poised to succeed, to me.  There is such a thing as being too smart and we all experience it from time to time.  The NFL knows it too.  Mostly, Zito is obviously someone who needs a little space to figure things out, so I hope it was just, um, first game weirdness?  ::crosses fingers::

Otherwise, the game was pretty encouraging for us San Franciscans and wanna-be-San-Franciscans and San-Franciscans-at-heart.  Brandon Belt basically screamed, Listen, y’all! and DeRosa actually seemed healthy out there which is bizarre and lovely at the same time.  DeRosa and healthy feel almost like oxymorons.  But I hope not.


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Isn’t that guy a total Mark DeRosa look alike?  He’s Rufus Sewell and I saw him in Tristan and Isolde, which, by the way, is not worth watching even to spot the DeRosa doppelganger.  And the fact that I think they look alike has nothing to do with the character being named Marke.

So that is my giant catch-up session because it’s been way too long and not blogging for two whole days is ridiculous.  Hugs and lemon poppy-seed muffins to all.  I really need to make some of those.  It’s been too long.

Diamond Girl

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In 5 Minutes: What’s Trending on Day 5 of Spring Training 2011

*I bought my first tickets for the 2011 season yesterday.  Way beyond excited.

*Another day, another piece of not entirely positive news about Joe Martinez.

*If you use melted chocolate instead of a cocoa powder in your hot chocolate you eliminate the possibility of grounds at the bottom.  (Diamond Girl with Useful Advice strikes again!)

*This video made me giddily excited.  It’s one thing to miss baseball in the offseason but it’s quite another to see it at your fingertips.  Zito and Lincecum doing bullpen sessions together is one of the greatest things ever.

*I know it’s Day 5.  I know it’s Day 5.  But every mention of little injuries freaks me out.  Stay healthy, brothers.  Stay healthy.  I am not prone to being panicky, but in this situation…

*Brian Wilson stated that the beard may not last the season.  I started writing an obituary for it.

*The Albert Pujols saga has progressed to the We Are So Puzzled We Are Not Even Going There stage.

*The Michael Young saga went there a long time ago.

And there you have it.  Day 5 in 5 minutes.  Who knew a sleepy Friday in February could be that exciting?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I ventured out into the rain to see Justin Bieber in 3D because virality is one of my passions in life (seriously).  All I could think the whole time is, “Is Scooter Braun [his manager] related to Ryan?”  And, you know, “Why is Justin trying to poke my eye out?”  I am with Roger Ebert on the whole 3D thing.

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5 Cooler Cars for Brian Wilson and an Over-Under on Michael Young

There are so many things I could write about today.  The fact that AJ Burnett is either delusional or his therapist told him to repeat positive affirmations to anyone and everyone.  The fact that the World Class Good Guy seems to be morphing into a World Class Bad Guy before our very eyes.  The fact that Mat Latos is on a bizarre anti-SF rampage.  And then the whole, “is Aaron Rowand mad?” thing (although no one except me seems that fascinated by that).  What I actually want to write about is the thing that made me wonder if there was indeed a minimum age to be in the Majors.  Apparently, they let pre-adolescents in.  Or at least, people with very preadolescent senses of humor.

Andrew Baggerly of the San Jose Mercury News (who, by the way, is killing all the other writers with his coverage of Spring Training) reports that Brian Wilson’s new ride is a fully decked out police cruiser.  With a loudspeaker.  On which he announces his arrival in the morning with, “I’m heeeere!”

If I gave my little brother a toy police cruiser for his birthday, yes, he might do that.  But that is no excuse for Brian.  My brother is 20-odd years younger than him.  That’s not what they mean when they say, “unlock the child within you”.  At least I hope it isn’t.

If he thinks the Obamas having a water dog is not cool, then I would like to say that driving a police cruiser is, um, not cool either.  Just saying.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get arrested.  Don’t want to get put in Bad Fan Prison.  But that is not cool.

So, of course, I made him a list of 5 cooler cars.  If you are slightly or very puzzled by this and the last paragraph, watch this quick episode of Life of Brian.

5.  Ferrari.  I don’t actually get the obsession with Ferrari’s and that they’re everybody’s dream car.  Except for the name.  I melt for Italian names.  (My father just alerted me that his parents had several Ferraris, which I was not previously aware of.  I know about the Emilio Pucci dresses and the Chanel boots they have passed down, but, until now, nothing about the hip cars.)

4.  Prius.  This is the cool of the future.  ::Joe Martinez yells, “The car from the Ghost Writer!”  I ignore::  Set the trends, Willy!

3.  A Chrysler.  I am being a shameless ad sucker here, but I am still into that Superbowl Chrysler ad.

2.  An old school VW bus.  You know, the kind Timmy wanted.  They may not think that’s cool down in Hollywood but it’s way cool up here.

1.  And Joe said that coolest one of all.  The car from The Ghost Writer.  I have referenced this before, here.  That beautiful car has an intelligent GPS that will lead you to the murder spot of your predecessor at work.  If that isn’t cool, what is?

There.  No one can accuse me of not giving useful advice now.  I just got you your baseball news and a list of cool cars, lumped into one.

I am calling grocery stores all over the Bay Area trying to find one that stocks mass amounts of popcorn.  This Michael Young saga may last a long time.  I still have my Team Jon shirt, but I’ve run out of popcorn.  Over or under, 40 days and 40 nights?  ‘Cause I need to know so I can stock up.

Diamond Girl

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Players Report to Start Working on Their Tans Day is Here!

Happy Generosity Day (don’t give chocolates, give kindness!  It’s the truest show of love.)  I’m being trendy and skipping Valentine’s Day.  But I love you all anyway. 

More importantly!  It’s also Players Report to Work on Their Tans for a Month Day. 

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Doesn’t the look on that guy’s face remind you of Pat Burrell, ever so slightly?

Seemingly, I am not the only person excited about this.  “The leisurely pace of spring training has been replaced by frenzy,” is how The San Jose Mercury News puts it.  This is all so weird for me as a pre-Championship-Era fan because even just last year the Giants were in the Relative Unknown category of the world and are now in the Semi-Superstar category.  The truth is that Spring Training games don’t start for a month and the regular season is 162 games, no matter what, so I think that may be its own frenzy killer.  It’s amazing to have so many Giants fans everywhere, but we’ll see how the Giants do under a spotlight.  It’ll be a season to remember, that’s for sure.

I think the Grammy’s filled up everyone’s lame TV quota and the good stuff all starts today at www.sfdiamondgirl.mlblogs.com.  And, you know, on the CW at 8/7 C.

It’s time, beautiful people.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Has anyone else been getting these ads in Pandora and YouTube?  I’m not much for “Together, We’re Giant” but it’s still pretty great to see Giants ads everywhere.

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Why I Don’t Want a Giants Belt Buckle

Much as I love my Texas Rangers, I do not live in Texas for a reason.  I do not like country music.  I do not like hot weather.  I do not wear belt buckles.  Horses sort of scare me.  And although I do have something of an incredible British accent, I can’t talk Texan for the life of me.  And I repeat, I do not wear belt buckles.  Not even Giant belt buckles.

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They are a fashion-faux pas.

They are really slightly bizarre.

So what is prompting my anti-belt buckle rampage?

Well, have you taken a look at the Giants 2011 promotions calendar?        

On Saturday, July 23rd (versus the Brewers, so I may actually be there) we will be treated to Country Western Night and the first 20,000 fans get a Giants belt buckle.

Where do they come up with these ideas?

If they’d promised me a coupon for a free download of Letters from Home sung by Aubrey Huff it would have gotten the same point across, but in a preferable way.  Or a DVD of The Frisco Kid, which is the only Western-ish movie I’ve even seen and that was because I am a Harrison Ford fangirl.  Or something- anything- other than a belt buckle.

Anyway.  The next day, also against the Brewers, is Fedora Day, where we all get free fedoras.  No one looks good in fedoras except A-Rod of Cam-Rod.  Even he is questionable in them.

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What is it about the Brewers inspiring the Giants to bad promotions?

I’m not even going to the touch the whole Bring Your Dog Day thing.  Been there, said that. 

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Diamond Girl

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