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Train Wrecks and Conspiracy Theories and Jousting and Salty Popcorn

In a few sentences: There were three runs on thirteen hits. Beltran got hurt. Lincecum got hurt. I wore a coat and boots at the beach in August.

Now yes, that sounds like a bit of a train wreck, but take heart because it wasn’t! It was a win against the Phillies and a much needed one at that. And I like cold beaches. In case you were worrying.

We got two new Offense Saviors in the form of four hits from Kepp (whose name I’ve given up on trying to spell, he’s just Kepp from now on) and then there was Stewart with the RBI single in the fourth inning to put the Giants on the board. In case I’ve failed to mention it before, I love this guy to pieces. I really do. He is on my list of Top 3 Favorite Giants.

Another interesting fact? Lincecum is also now 5-0 in starts against Oswalt. While that’s nice, I’m have plenty of conspiracy theories about why they face each other so much. I need Ian from National Treasure to fund my investigation on the schedule makers. As long as he, eh, promises not to try and kill me.

And after the game, the good news came that Beltran is probably alright. And Timmy is made of rubber or elastic or something else totally invincible so of course he’s alright. (When I say “of course”, I am leaving aside my utter panic at hearing of him being hit by that bat. “Of course” in retrospect.)

The reality was that the game avoided the sweep but we’re still in a pretty awful stretch here. But winning streaks start with just one win and I am totally prepared to believe that the next series is going to be brighter on our end. Amazingly enough, the Giants are still ahead of Arizona (I feel like I say that a lot, somehow) and the schedule just gets easier from here on out for a while. Starting tonight, with the Pirates are on a 10 game losing streak. As much as I feel for the Pirates and the city of Pittsburgh right now my empathy for them seriously lessened when they traded Joe Martinez to the Indians for cash considerations. Whatever “cash considerations” actually means, I am fine with the Giants elongating that streak a little.

Now that they’ve gotten my blessing, I’m sure they’ll go with it. I need some salty popcorn and a whole lot of baby carrots to get me through this. Who wants to go the grocery store for me?

Diamond Girl

p.s. Baseball is a much better sport than jousting, in case there was any doubt about that. I watched A Knight’s Tale last night. And my doubt was eliminated.

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Jon Miller Imitations, Zito In NC and The Ironic Name For a Stadium That Is Never Overstocked

So I missed the greater part of yesterday’s game because the rain-delay-when-there-was-no-rain-and-they-were-watering-the-field made it cross into a lecture in Berkeley by Dave Batstone, the founder of the Not for Sale Campaign that I went to.  (Remember the whole “Give me your money and I’ll give you chocolate.  This is not spam.” thing?  Yeah.  He’s related to that.)  It was a fantastic speech and he showed a commercial with Jeremy Affeldt for the organization from a few years ago and he looked so, so young.  He also did a Jon Miller imitation but didn’t sound a whole lot like Jon Miller, but hey, he’s hard to imitate.  So I got to listen to stuff about social justice for an hour without going through too severe baseball withdrawal.  It was at a theology school, though, and I kind of got the sense I was the only one laughing at the baseball jokes.  Huh.  He also told me afterwards that Matt Cain may be joining the organization.  Of course.  He is such a Good Guy.  With caps.

When I got home, I got a very enthusiastic (and slightly headache inducing) blow-by-blow of the end of the game from which I deduced that a) it went into extras b) Cain was in line to be a hard luck loser until c) Dar-run Ford ran.  Correct me if any of those facts are wrong.  I hate how many extra inning games we’ve had to play this year, but a win is a win and that’s the bottom line.

The weird news pieces of today are that Barry Zito is in North Carolina seeing a specialist about his foot and Roy Oswalt has taken an indefinite leave from the Phillies.  The Oswalt news has gotten less weird as more came out that he’s taking the leave to check up on his family in a tornado-stricken area.  Thoughts and prayers are with them all.  But the Zito news has just gotten weirder.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure NC is a lovely place (only 5% sarcasm there) but aren’t there plenty of foot specialists on this side of the Mississippi?  I have a few conspiracy theories about this.

And then the fact that we’re stuck with the Overstock.com Coliseum for six years to come?  I don’t even know what to say.  It’s a mouthful, for one.  And how can I tactfully say that the Coliseum isn’t really ever “overstocked”?  Though maybe the new deal would include WiFi.  It is so time for that.

Diamond Girl

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Diamond Girl’s Retrospective of the 2010 Season

(Quickly… looking through the This Year in Baseball Awards and it’s so much fun to relive it all.  Armando Galarraga.  I’d forgotten about that, can you believe it?  Roy Oswalt in left.  Ichiro and a teenage girl being the ultimate Teenage Girl.  Dallas Braden’s perfect game.  So many fun moments.  Anyway.  Two quick things.  I’ll try to keep them quick.  First- I saw the Ryan Braun’s catch against the Giants on September 17th is one of the top plays.  To be honest, I’d forgotten all about that too but now I’m remembering what a fun day, a highlight of the 2010 season, it was for me.  And how perfect it was for Ryan to make that catch.  Needless to say, I held my “I Love U, Ryan Braun” sign high.  I’m also campaigning for Jon Daniels for Executive of the Year.  If any of you live in or spend time in Berkeley, you’ll know that someone named Josh Daniels was running for school board in the last election, so there were signs for him all over.  Couldn’t we, in true Bay Area sprit, recycle them and make them say, “Jon Daniels for Executive of the Year”?)

 

One week tomorrow since the Giants became World Series Champions and the 2010 season finished.  Time to do my retrospective.  This collage is my photo highlights of things I’ve written about and done relating to baseball this past season.  This collage is joined by three all-important items:  designer sunglasses, a hairbrush (heart-shaped, no less) and a baseball.

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March

Diamond Girl sees video of Zito at Spring Training talking about new socks.  She is puzzled.

Opening Day

Diamond Girl sees Zito’s socks.  She prays that she is hallucinating.

 

Later in April

Diamond Girl visits LA.  LA survives.  Barely.

May

Buster Posey sees ball and hits ball in debut.  World calls NY Times, but Diamond Girl does not.  She is getting a (non-Buster-Posey-themed) pedicure.

June

Diamond Girl gets picture of self with Barry Zito and aforementioned picture sets record for most comments on DG’s Facebook page.  80% female comments.

 

July

When the NL bullpen at the All-Star game goes from a Dodger to a Padre, Diamond Girl begins rooting for the AL.  (Some historians link this to her later switch of allegiances during the World Series.)

 

August

Brian Wilson grows beard.  Male portion of world grows beards, female portion wears fake beards.  Diamond Girl does not.  She is getting a (non-beard-themed) manicure.

September

Tim Lincecum cuts hair.  Diamond Girl calls the NY Times to give a tip on the sensational story but they don’t answer the phone. 
               
Later in September

Diamond Girl luvs u, Ryan Braun.  Ryan Braun ignores.

 

October

Diamond Girl announces that she is rooting for the Rangers in the World Series.  World attempts to call NY Times but they have blocked World’s number, due to the volume of Buster Posey and Cody Ross related calls. 

 

November

Giants win World Series.  World celebrates by setting fires and turning over police cars.  Diamond Girl celebrates by taking off nail polish, straightening hair and eating (non-baseball decorated) vanilla cupcakes.

 

Diamond Girl + World + San Francisco Giants + NY Times live happily ever after.

 

The End.

 

::cue clapping::

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No, That Game Did Not Shock Me, What Google Is For And On the 141st Most Common Baby Name in 1977

I wasn’t shocked that the Giants won that game last night.  Has anyone else noticed that the “underdog” always wins?  To an extent that we should just call ‘em the overdogs and be done with it. 

 

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Like everyone else on the face of this beautiful planet, I can’t stand the Fox announcers but I do enjoy seeing it on TV from time to time so this game was fun.  Aside from the fact that Edgar Renteria and Mike Fontenot always look like they’re about to cry.  Has anyone else noticed that?  With Renteria it’s sort of a constant look of melancholy whereas with Fontenot, it’s permanent moisture around his eyes.  Speaking of moisture… would someone like to clue me into why one would drink Gatorade and then immediately spit it out.  If it’s just a show for the cameras, then who taught those guys what fans like to see?  Um, not you spitting out a stream of Gatorade.

 

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Picture is slightly irrelevant because this player seems to actually be drinking his drink.  Which is not a weird thing to do, contrary to what you might think from watching sport’s broadcasts.

 

Today’s game is going to be a struggle for me because I’ve always been an Oswalt fan and part of me really wants his decision to go to the Phillies, because he saw them as a potentially World Series winning team, to pay off.  But he’s the only player from the team who I like, so I am going to try to root totally and utterly for Sanchez and the Giants.  Depending on the state of Sanchez’s chameleon facial hair, that may be more or less difficult.  Will keep you posted.

 

Lastly, for now, on the hair thing… Dear Cody Ross:  A shaved head and sort-of-kind-of-no-not-really beard may be acceptable for a rodeo clown, but, um, it is not in the NLCS.  I suggest you get rid of the beard, pronto.

 

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I was also kind of wondering if Roy was a really popular baby name in 1977, the year Oswalt and Halladay were both born so I looked it up and Roy was the 141st most common name that year.  Then I looked Halladay up and his name isn’t really Roy.  That’s a nickname.  Theory, invalidated.

 

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I would just like to put it out there one last time that I have serious Rally Rag envy issues.  If any generous people have an extra one, leave it by the Prada sunglasses at Saks Fifth Avenue on Union Square.  I spend a good chunk of my life there so I’ll find it within a few days and if you leave your name, I’ll give you a virtual hug.  And a real hug if you buy me some sunglasses.

 

I also came to the realization, when the Fox guys referenced “Giants Baseball:  Torture” that it has been way, way overused.  I love the phrase and think it very well represents the 2010 Giants but everyone just says it so much.  At the least, I hope people will stop telling the whole story behind it.  Because surely we all know by now and we can just use the phrase?  If someone doesn’t know and is interested, well, that’s what Google is for!

 

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Diamond Girl

p.s.  I just noticed last night that Wilson’s glove says, “WILSON” in big black letters.  It is dorky and adorable at the same time.

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And isn’t that just a fantastic pose?

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The Pink Paraphernalia

Here is my virtual high five to Bochy and Sabean.  I wasn’t into the Bengie trade, because I was one of those people who wasn’t totally sold on Buster, but it seems to have been a smart move.  They are managing this team well right now so I am more a fan than ever.  Which means I want to give you all a little talk about female fans.

Being a female fan is hard.  Case in point: a few weeks ago I was shoe shopping at Nordstrom’s (duh, I’m a big shoe person; see my profile picture) and they were showing the Giants game on the TV in the department.  So watch the game or try on some five inch heels by Steve Madden?

Female fans, I feel your pain.  But there’s one thing that girl fans do that I don’t get.  Actually, there’s one thing MLB does for girl fans that I don’t get, but we must be buying or they wouldn’t sell them, so we’re all at fault.  In two words: pink paraphernalia. 

You know how MLB sells pink hats and pink bats and lots of other pink stuff with the team’s logo on it?  I don’t get wearing that stuff.  If you’re a fan, then show your pride, be it orange or black or blue or white or red or green or anything else. 

 

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They do try to make it more Giant-y by putting the orange logo on the tops, but seriously.  Orange and pink clash.  Who designed those things?  Guessing it wasn’t Miu-Miu or anything.

If you’re a girl who wears pink MLB paraphernalia, please tell me your reasoning.  

The trade deadline is getting really close now and I’m still half-hoping for the Giants to get Ryan Braun and/or Roy Oswalt, but I don’t think that really looks likely, right now.  And I don’t think that we need either, particularly.  There’s not a whole lot of evidence that we need a big bat or a starting pitcher.  So I’d say a relief pitcher would be a good investment.  I’ve heard that the relief pitcher market is not very good, so this might be tricky to do.  But it’s the move I’d make.

And congratulations to Jon Miller.  We are so lucky to have him in San Francisco and his acceptance speech was really great.  I wish broadcasters got awards more often.  They give better speeches than athletes or actors or anyone else. 

Please send your healing thoughts Eugenio Velez’s way.  Scary incident, with the foul ball that hit him in the head in the dugout.

X’s and O’s, friends.

Diamond Girl

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