Tag Archives: rookies

A Consolatory Beanie and Some Conspiracy Theories

Hello, people, and apologies for my absence!  I’ve had a bit of a crazy few days/been quietly enjoying the fact that we have meaningless September baseball/Green Day has a new album out and so there’s that/my silly sister is moving halfway across the world and making me all weepy.

Meaningless September baseball is surprisingly fun, though – especially when the team knocks my sparkly flip-flops off and makes it seem like it is completely meaningful.  It’s a bit like Spring Training, except with cinnamon gingerbread lattes and a guaranteed playoff spot.  They just finished up their last homestand, taking two out of three from the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but that’s a different story) and are hitting San Diego and LA one last time to wrap up the season.

Matt Cain did everything and then some, Barry Zito did everything and then some and Tim Lincecum kind of floundered and made us all feel badly for criticizing him because, guys, he missed the celebration when they clinched and looked altogether like a sad puppy.

I mean, he always kind of looks like a sad puppy.  But now more than ever.  I want to hand him a consolatory beanie and say, It’s meaningless September baseball!  You’ll be fine!  (Or you won’t be.  And you’ll develop a massive chip on your shoulder about it, a la Barry, and then be fantastic a few years later so, lo, everything I said was true and you will be fine even if it’s not necessarily all that soon.)

The Giants were a sight to see travelling yesterday evening, because it was rookie hazing day.

One question, though.  A few people said they hazed the rookies and sophomores, because they didn’t do it last year.  Is that true?  Because you know how I love a good conspiracy theory.  And this one is too good to pass up.  Maybe… they were possessed by magnetic-drawn robots that love metal, but mysteriously hate dress-up.  Maybe… they had someone on the team who had a fear of clowns (common phobia!) and for a reason to be named later, that was the only costume they could have done.  Or maybe Sabes was in a nasty mood and rained on their parade.  Which isn’t all that good a conspiracy theory at all.

Or maybe it was reported on at the time and I just have the memory of a goldfish?   Yes.  That seems likely.

Diamond Girl

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