Tag Archives: playoffs

The Non-Literal Stars Aligning

Happy October!  I was ridiculously happy for it to be October, until I checked the weather this morning and… the rest is history.  We’re having a (semi)serious heat wave in the Bay Area and Diamond Girl + heat waves = no bueno.

Then I remembered that today is the day we are going to Beat LA – which is a rhyme, but never mind that – and I went right back to being ridiculously excited.  I was smiling ear to ear, even carrying my 50 pound book bag down the street in 80 degree weather.   (It may not have been 50 pounds or 80 degrees, but, my friends, this is called creative license )  Which is to say, I cannot wait for this thing to get started.  Cannotwait.  My shoulder hurts from the bag, but I’m still stoked.

Across the Bay, there is some serious drama with the A’s-Rangers series kicking off and I guess they could both clinch playoff spots tonight, theoretically, if all the non-literal stars aligned.  It’s not like I am beginning to see the wisdom of the second wildcard, but I am beginning to see the wisdom of the second wildcard.  Nobody tell Bud Selig I said that.

Over on Twitter, Andrew Baggarly put out a few statistics about the Giants, including that they have the fewest home runs in the Majors this year and assuming that doesn’t change over the next couple of days, they’ll be only the fourth team in the live-ball era to make the playoffs with the fewest home runs.  Say, what?  I was surprised by that one.  Not that the Giants hit the fewest bombs.  That was no surprise at all.  I make a little notch in the tree outside my house every time I go to a game and they don’t hit one out (I kid, tree huggers) and it has… oh, a notch for every game I’ve ever been to.  But the latter stat?  That one’s interesting.  Who knew homer-pathetic teams were doomed in the playoff race?   Moneyball 2.0, guys.  The secret ain’t walks.  It’s homers.   Except when you’re the Giants and it’s right now.  So, yeah.  The theory has some flaws.  But still.

Lastly, Cardinals?  After the Giants Beat LA tonight and hand you your playoff spot, I do expect something in return.  I collect Christmas tree ornaments and there’s also this Kate Spade handbag I have my eye on, if you need ideas.  You’re welcome!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I woke up.  September ended.  (Hey, I only get to make that joke once a year.  Bear with me.)

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Buster Posey and I

You guys are probably going to be suspicious of this, but I’ve noticed a very strange trend.  And I don’t lie on my blog.  (Usually.  There was that one time… but never mind.)  Anyway, just as Buster Posey gets smashed in the throat and promptly loses his voice, I get all croaky.  Seriously.  It’s not the first time, either.  I had sympathetic ankle pain when, y’know, That Thing We’re Not Going to Talk About happened.

Twinsies!  Except in a not-so-good way.  Let’s all hope Buster, and by extension I, stay all well and healthy, m’kay?  Marco Scutaro, too.  How is he supposed to ride Hunter Pence’s scooter when he’s coughing and sneezing up a storm?  We have the playoffs to look forward too, people.  Have some Italian sodas and rest up, for Pete’s sake, Giants.

The game is starting anyminuteanyminute now, so I’ll catch you all later.  And when we’re all not sick.

Diamond Girl

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A Consolatory Beanie and Some Conspiracy Theories

Hello, people, and apologies for my absence!  I’ve had a bit of a crazy few days/been quietly enjoying the fact that we have meaningless September baseball/Green Day has a new album out and so there’s that/my silly sister is moving halfway across the world and making me all weepy.

Meaningless September baseball is surprisingly fun, though – especially when the team knocks my sparkly flip-flops off and makes it seem like it is completely meaningful.  It’s a bit like Spring Training, except with cinnamon gingerbread lattes and a guaranteed playoff spot.  They just finished up their last homestand, taking two out of three from the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but that’s a different story) and are hitting San Diego and LA one last time to wrap up the season.

Matt Cain did everything and then some, Barry Zito did everything and then some and Tim Lincecum kind of floundered and made us all feel badly for criticizing him because, guys, he missed the celebration when they clinched and looked altogether like a sad puppy.

I mean, he always kind of looks like a sad puppy.  But now more than ever.  I want to hand him a consolatory beanie and say, It’s meaningless September baseball!  You’ll be fine!  (Or you won’t be.  And you’ll develop a massive chip on your shoulder about it, a la Barry, and then be fantastic a few years later so, lo, everything I said was true and you will be fine even if it’s not necessarily all that soon.)

The Giants were a sight to see travelling yesterday evening, because it was rookie hazing day.

One question, though.  A few people said they hazed the rookies and sophomores, because they didn’t do it last year.  Is that true?  Because you know how I love a good conspiracy theory.  And this one is too good to pass up.  Maybe… they were possessed by magnetic-drawn robots that love metal, but mysteriously hate dress-up.  Maybe… they had someone on the team who had a fear of clowns (common phobia!) and for a reason to be named later, that was the only costume they could have done.  Or maybe Sabes was in a nasty mood and rained on their parade.  Which isn’t all that good a conspiracy theory at all.

Or maybe it was reported on at the time and I just have the memory of a goldfish?   Yes.  That seems likely.

Diamond Girl

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Throwing Peanuts and John Bowker and Stuff

I’m one of those annoying people who has a word quota for every day and once I’ve reached it, I pretty much can’t squeeze out any more (written) words.  Books do tend to steal all your words, so this is going to have to be brief.  Blame the endless streetlight descriptions.  I have a serious and slightly problematic affinity for long streetlight descriptions.  They pop up in pretty much everything I’ve ever written.

But I digress…

Now that the division’s all clinched and all the regulars are resting up in favor of lineups that feature Justin Christian and John Bowker – oh, wait, are we out of the John Bowker era now? – there are just a few questions left to answer, before the playoffs start.  One of them is the Melky question.  The MCM (Melky Cabrera mess, in case you’ve forgotten) persists.  Sergio Romo went on the radio yesterday and basically said he doesn’t see any reason for Melky not to be on the playoff roster, once he becomes eligible, and then today Bochy made some typically cryptic Bochy comments that seemed to suggest precisely the opposite.  Decoded, he said nowaynohow Melky will on the playoff roster.

Way to throw the peanut gallery a bone, guys!  By the peanut gallery I mean bloggers like yours truly.  And by a bone I mean something to talk about other than the funny lineups.

As I see it, Melky absolutely won’t make the roster.  And I think that’s as it should be.  For every win the Giants got with him on the team in the playoffs, there would be whisperings and there would be what-ifs, from both us Giants fans and from opposing teams, as well.  Certainly, there are what-ifs if he doesn’t make the roster as well, because, face it, the guy is really good, but San Francisco made the push that got them into the playoffs after his suspension.  This team, minus Melky, deserves the playoff run.

::throws peanuts::

Okay.  No more words left.  This is the end.

Diamond Girl

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25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day

I always think I’m going to love off-days.  I’m going to get loads done and not miss baseball irrationally (it’s just one day!), but when it comes down to it, I hate off-days.  I’m not accustomed to this practice of doing normal, humanbeing things like not scheduling my day around a baseball game.  It confuses me.  I don’t get much done at all.  So!  With that in mind, I decided to make a helpful post – don’t you love those? – 25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day.  Without further ado…

25.  Take “occupy” literally.  Choose someone who’s been really annoying you lately and just occupy their space.  Your boss’s desk is a great example.  Get some markers and make a sign or two, bring your old tent and you’re good to do.  Easy peasy.  (I do not take responsibility if you lose your job, though.  Being a rebel does have occupational hazards.)

24.  Take up basket-weaving.  I hear it’s fun and super time consuming.

23.  Get a pair of shearing scissors and offer free haircuts on the street.  People will love you.

22.  Brush up on your Buster Bash skills.  You can never have too many sunflower seeds.

21.  Make a list of all your best Jose Altuve jokes and publish it on the internet.

20.  Better still, make a list of your ways to stay occupied and post it on the internet.  Hey, that actually sounds like a good idea!

19.  Petition Bud Selig to eliminate off-days.  It worked real well with the whole Emily-for-Commish thing.

18.  Blame Diamond Girl for this atrocity because of that sign she made way back when.

17.  Make cupcakes.  Just ‘cause.

16.  Head to the bookstore or your Kindle (whichismurderingpreciousprintbutwtvr) and read some positive psychology books.  The Giants will be so rested!  They’ll beat AZ!  Off-days are awesome!

15.  Cry.  Stock up on mocha ice cream.  You know the end of this story.

14.  Make MLB Memes and send them to your friends.  Refresh your email and glower when nobody answers in ten minutes.

13.  Post a few cryptic Facebook statuses that are totally directed at your football-watching friends.

12.  Watch The Hobbit trailer a few(hundred) times.  Smiley face.

11.  Watch a baseball movie or two.  Not recommended.  Baseball movies are unanimously awful, in my opinion, but you all disagree so proceed.  I will not say a word.  (More.)

10.  Try to paint your nails orange and black, like Brian Wilson’sFail.  Move on.

9.  Listen to 2010 top hits.  You now have two options:  a) Get teary eyed and reminiscent b) Thank Higher Power of Choice That We Are Not in 2010 Anymore Because That Music Was God-Awful.

8.  Politely but firmly beg Sergio Romo to confine his tweets to 140 characters.

7.  Read certain stats about the Reds.  NLDS is unwinnable.  Get depressed.

6.  Read other stats about the Reds.  We got this thing!  Get excited.

5.  Enter the Giants lottery for the opportunity to buy playoff tickets.  Prepare to live in abject poverty for the rest of your life, but it will have been worth it.

4.  Polish up your proposal of marriage to Marco Scutaro and send it off.  Start shopping for rings.

3.  Also get a caterer and reserve the venue and send out save-the-dates with the groom’s name TBA.  Normal behavior and Marco will think it’s adorable.

2.  Come up with a new playoff superstition.  You know not washing your shirt doesn’t work, right?  Right?

1.  Do not, under any circumstances, do what I just did.

Diamond Girl

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