Tag Archives: pittsburgh

Train Wrecks and Conspiracy Theories and Jousting and Salty Popcorn

In a few sentences: There were three runs on thirteen hits. Beltran got hurt. Lincecum got hurt. I wore a coat and boots at the beach in August.

Now yes, that sounds like a bit of a train wreck, but take heart because it wasn’t! It was a win against the Phillies and a much needed one at that. And I like cold beaches. In case you were worrying.

We got two new Offense Saviors in the form of four hits from Kepp (whose name I’ve given up on trying to spell, he’s just Kepp from now on) and then there was Stewart with the RBI single in the fourth inning to put the Giants on the board. In case I’ve failed to mention it before, I love this guy to pieces. I really do. He is on my list of Top 3 Favorite Giants.

Another interesting fact? Lincecum is also now 5-0 in starts against Oswalt. While that’s nice, I’m have plenty of conspiracy theories about why they face each other so much. I need Ian from National Treasure to fund my investigation on the schedule makers. As long as he, eh, promises not to try and kill me.

And after the game, the good news came that Beltran is probably alright. And Timmy is made of rubber or elastic or something else totally invincible so of course he’s alright. (When I say “of course”, I am leaving aside my utter panic at hearing of him being hit by that bat. “Of course” in retrospect.)

The reality was that the game avoided the sweep but we’re still in a pretty awful stretch here. But winning streaks start with just one win and I am totally prepared to believe that the next series is going to be brighter on our end. Amazingly enough, the Giants are still ahead of Arizona (I feel like I say that a lot, somehow) and the schedule just gets easier from here on out for a while. Starting tonight, with the Pirates are on a 10 game losing streak. As much as I feel for the Pirates and the city of Pittsburgh right now my empathy for them seriously lessened when they traded Joe Martinez to the Indians for cash considerations. Whatever “cash considerations” actually means, I am fine with the Giants elongating that streak a little.

Now that they’ve gotten my blessing, I’m sure they’ll go with it. I need some salty popcorn and a whole lot of baby carrots to get me through this. Who wants to go the grocery store for me?

Diamond Girl

p.s. Baseball is a much better sport than jousting, in case there was any doubt about that. I watched A Knight’s Tale last night. And my doubt was eliminated.

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Read It With Me: D-O-A-B-L-E

May I just say that while I am remarkably bad at bowling, I am wicked good at air hockey?  My defense can be shakey, but my offense is something to behold.  Still, I think I am a lost cause at bowling.  The only reason I go once in a blue moon is so that I can do a dramatic “strrriiiikkkeee” when someone (not me, obviously) gets a strike.

So today’s game was a practice run for the royal wedding I guess (Which I: Am. Not. Watching.) because otherwise starting at 9:35am is inexplicable and warrants a phone call to Bud himself.  I hate baseball games in the morning.  Yes, I know that it was 12:35 in Pittsburgh.  Maybe this is payback from the East Coasters for making them stay up so late.  This is a theory I’m going to have to contemplate.

Anyway.  Vogelsong surprised me with a strong outing and I was really happy for him, even if I would have preferred to see our wacky lefty.  The offense looked like me at that time of day.  Functional, but not exactly raring to go. 

What really struck me today, though, is how little we know this team.  No one has fallen into their spot, exactly, yet.  That’s partially because of the injuries and partly just because it’s early.  And somehow I think Giants fans- or maybe just me- are still riding the adrenaline of last November because there was never exactly closure.  Do you know what I mean?  It’s slightly surreal and it feels like all this year has been about last year, though the ceremonies have ended.  I think we’re subconsciously grappling with the idea of a new season, nearly a month in.  What part will Vogelsong play?  Can Aaron Rowand survive months and months and stay warm, if not hot?  Was Torres really a fluke?  Was Tejada a bust?  DeRosa?  How will last year’s late pick-ups fare?  We really know very little.

But we’re getting there.  The team is back at .500 and we’ve had strong replacements for all the injured players.  We’re cutting through the roadtrip and the Nationals are at 10-12 and have lost two in a row (now where’s Bryce Harper?!).  This is:

 

And I don’t know a whole lot (read: nothing) about football, but from what I’m reading the Niners would have been smart to take me on as their GM.

Diamond Girl

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Little Leaguers Snazzy Defense and a Freaky Friday Baseball Movie Proposal. And Another Kind of Proposal.

Did NBC just link to my blog as a “do this, not that” for proposing to Ryan Braun? Oh yes. http://offthebench.nbcsports.com/2011/04/25/brewers-fan-flashes-her-phone-number-on-national-tv-somehow-this-backfires-video/related.  I am sort of super hyper/super excited right now and I think I should be on Good Morning America as an expert  or something.  Just too bad that I had approximately 0 hours of sleep + strange hair in the photo, if that is going to be my claim to fame.

Anyhow.  My blood pressure is lowering and I’m am now recollecting that I was at a Little League game a few hours ago and my brother’s coaches always seem to pin him as a closer.  It was a save situation today that got even closer before we finally won.  The phrase, “Rays Baseball: Torture!” comes to mind.

This team does have some pretty snazzy defense, though, and they are so much easier on the eyes when it comes to that than the Giants.  Okay.  Wow.  I just got the greatest idea for a movie:  It’s like Freaky Friday except it’s 12 Little Leaguers who get transported into the bodies on MLBers and vice versa.  That would so great.  And in this case, I think the Giants would do better with these little guys playin’ for them.  That is © 2011, by the way.  If you are a Hollywood big shot (getting carried away, am I?) and you want to make this, you gotta ask me and put a Meet Hayden Christensen clause in the contract.

The song quote that is stubbornly stuck in my head today is “you can go anywhere you wish/’cause I’ll be there, wherever you are” (from Technicolor Phase) and so I’m trying to overcome my groupie tendencies and not follow the Giants to PNC Park.  Even though I’ve always wanted to go there.  Tell me this is a bad idea.  Thanks.

Aaaand that’s a wrap on my disjointed thoughts on an off day.  Sweet dreams.

Diamond Girl

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Diamonds! Piles of Gold! Armani Suits! Swiss Watches! Hawaii Vacations!

Dear Bullpen,

Look.  As much as I don’t like you, Wilson, I don’t like being under .500 even more.  I didn’t want you to blow that.  And as much as I like you, Affeldt, I like being over .500 more.  Okay, that’s not true.  I care more about people than baseball games, but right this second I am pretty darn put off by you guys.  I am of the opinion that there is no excuse for losing in extra innings at home.  You have that unique and perfect advantage of walking off and it was your responsibility to keep this in the bag.

It was too good to be true that Sanchez was at all passable after being on IVs with dehydration from the flu yesterday and the game was actually somewhat encouraging, offense-wise.  Still, you are here (::points to the ground::) and you really, really need to be here (::points to the ceiling::).  Edlefsen, Kroon, heck, Joey?  Where are you guys? 

Maybe you need a little encouragement.  Here goes.  I have some really awesome rewards for you (Diamonds!  Piles of gold!  Armani suits!  Swiss watches!  Hawaii Vacations!) and I’ll do my best infomercial imitation voice when I give ‘em to you, but there is one little catch aside from the fact that you’ll go bankrupt from the taxes, we’ll send you spam for this and four more lifetimes, the diamonds are fake and we’re flying you luggage class.  Other than that.  You have to pitch well.  You can’t walk people.  And you really can’t let the ball go from your hand to over the fence in a space of, oh, 20 seconds.  That is too big a change in too short a time for the health of anyone’s heart.

I get that you’re trying.  Really, I do.  If the incitement of the prizes doesn’t help, I can also recommend  inspirational music and shaving off the beards.  We’ve barely cracked the surface of my advice cauldron.  Giving advice is right up there with walking on the beach in a storm and eating brownies in my life.  But I’d rather if you straightened this out on your own.

We’re moving on to Pittsburg/DC/New York, all of whom are in the near/at/under .500 club.  With us.  Gulp.  A bunny (me) somewhere in the heartland is crying.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Read this gem of a news piece.  Just read it.

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Mini-Non-Denominational Things That Grow, Cam-Rod in Los Cabos, a Carrot for Brian Sabean and the Haunted iPod

I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I did get a Mini-Non-Denominational Thing That Grows for my desk because I am a sucker for sparkly trees.   And it sheds.  Everywhere.  All the time.  Why did nobody warn me about this occupational hazard of Mini-Non-Denominational Things That Grow?

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Anyway, the only noteworthy thing I’ve found on the baseball news front these past few days is that Alex Rodriguez is spending the holidays in Los Cabos with Cameron Diaz (can we call them Cam-Rod?).  Which is, of course, very noteworthy.  Not.   Hey, GMs, please make something interesting happen.  Diamond Girl is turning into TMZ 2.0.

TMZ 2.0.png

And Joe Martinez was designated for assignment by the Pirates.  Not good news at all.  Since Sabean is into the whole rejects and cast-offs thing, maybe he could re-sign Joey?  I’ll make him a baseball shaped carrot cake with wicked good cream cheese frosting if he does it.  Same goes for you, Doug Melvin and Jon Daniels.  Your carrot cake is waiting.

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Good luck to all braving the stores for last minute shopping today.  I braved the Apple store yesterday because my iPod Touch was moving by itself.  The geniuses at the Genius Bar said it was hypersensitive and gave me a new one.  I think it was haunted.  So far the new one is being normal, but I’m keeping my distance.  Freaky iPods are… you know, freaky.

Feliz Navidad and Joyeux Noël, y’all.

Diamond Girl

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