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Luckily, I Was Listening to Enya When I Read the Roster News, Plus PREDICTIONS.

So I chose a kind of a weird time to go on vacation.  While some of the biggest decisions in recent Giants-fan memory were coming out, I was walking to and from the pool and kinda-sorta trying for a tan.  (No luck there.)   When I finally started catching up, I started looping my Enya and went to Twitter.  It’s probably a good thing I had the über-calming music going because, well, my jaw pretty much dropped at the initial 25 man news.  And just as I was picking it up off the floor, I read the Chris Stewart news.  I am still attempting to connect jaw to rest of head and it’s not working terribly well.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, for lack of a better way of putting it.  I did not see any of this coming, but I am happy with it, all around.  The Giants are looking pretty young and energized going into Opening Day and what else can you really ask for?  (Other than pre-steroid scandal Ryan Braun starting in left, but hey, you can’t have it all.)

I’m sad to see Chris Stewart go, because I was rather partial to him, but I am also always glad to see guys go the Yankees.  It feels like sending them to a family member’s house, rather than to a complete stranger, to use a slightly strange analogy.  That is my inner New Yorker speaking, don’t mind it.  So in many ways, I’m actually happy for Stewart and wish him safe travels with the Yankees.

Here is my happy waving GIF, because if you don’t laugh, you might cry.  Not that I cry about baseball trades.  Usually.  Let’s not talk Bengie Molina and I’ll be fine.  Don’t get between me and my catchers, people.  People being Brian Sabean.

And now!  I’m a couple hours late this year, but I’m going to do some predictions now.  I like to do them before the season kicks off, but just bear with me.  It’s not like the first few innings of a game give me any edge on the rest of you who predicted a few days ago, so!

 National League

East:  Philadelphia Phillies

Central:  St. Louis Cardinals

West:  San Francisco Giants

Wildcards:  Colorado Rockies, Cincinnati Reds

American League

East:  New York Yankees

Central:  Detroit Tigers

West:  Texas Rangers

Wildcards:   Tampa Bay Rays, Cleveland Indians

See?  No need to worry that I have an edge, prediction-wise.  I am so terrible with ‘em that the timing makes zero difference.  But now I have put them out there and can cringe over them for the next six months or so and it just wouldn’t be baseball season without that.  Have you all made predictions?  Put them (or a link to them) in the comments so we can commiserate/I can get completely jealous of your brilliance.  ‘K?  ‘K.

Happy Pappy Opening Day!

Ever-So-Slightly-Tanned Diamond Girl

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My Letter to Bud Selig On the Eve of Spring Training

Dear Bud Selig,

Hi!  Have you missed me and my letters of bullyin- I mean, recommendation- to you?  Wait.  Don’t answer that one.

Anyway!  I feel like I’ve touched on this before, but I feel the need to say it clearly and detailed-ly now, on the eve of Catchers and Pitchers Reporting Day.  For the Giants, A’s, Reds, Cubs, Pirates, Phillies and Orioles.

Which is, actually, just my point.

Wouldn’t it be a thousand times more climactic to be able to just say, “the eve of Catchers and Pitchers Reporting Day,” without all the team names at the end?  AKA, shouldn’t they all report on the same day?  Now, look.  I understand all the stuff about free will vs. predestination and letting teams do their own thing and that this is not a mandatory report date anyway, but that is all completely beside the point.  Imagine if it was like this at the beginning of the regular season, with Opening Day spread out over a whole bunch of days?  How terrible would that be?  (It would, obviously, be absolutely terrible.)

Also, on the practical side, this bad scheduling makes my brain have to work a lot harder than it likes to.  Since my iPod has a deep and unfounded hatred of me and refuses to accept it when I schedule appointments or events on the calendar app, I have to store all this info in my head.  Which means that every day, in between watching Dior fashion shows over and over, I have to do my sleuthing and find out who might possibly be reporting to Arizona today.  Waste of time with a capital “W”.

Besides which, the Giants were tweeting photos of Nate Schierholtz working out in the batting cages today.  I mean, I’m not going to go out there and say they shouldn’t let Nate take BP.  But tweeting about it?  That’s like tweeting a link to the wedding scene from Breaking Dawn, Part I the day before the movie comes out.  You can’t leak the most important details right before it happens, people!

So here’s what I propose:  something a little more, well, dramatic.  I’m talking, you sucker all the players into getting buzzy new haircuts and stuff and then they all make their grand debuts before the cameras on one, predetermined, day.

If only for the sake of my overscheduled brain.

Thanks, Bud.  You’re the best.  And while you’re at it, please scrap all the expanded playoffs weirdness.  That’s just… weird.  For lack of a better word.

Thanks again!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  If you’re feeling annoyed after finishing this letter, just imagine if I’d written you a version of Goodnight Moon, adapted to Goodnight Offseason, like I was initially planning.  And feel blessed I went with this idea instead.

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Conditional Statements and Sun Power

The first batch of catchers and pitchers reported to sun-filled Arizona today!  Since it’s the Mariners, I figure this is probably the most sun they’ll see all season, so they should suck it up and work on those tans pronto, if you ask me.  It’s rather grey and dreary here in California, but I am basically sun-powering the whole city right now because I am soexcitedIcouldaboslutelyburst.  Like, soexcitedIcouldabsolutelyburst.

During the offseason, it’s all speculation and a mix of tremendous optimism and tremendous pessimism.  Then as we get really close to Spring Training and everything, that converts to mostly just optimism.  Because, as we all remember, baseball is fun whether or not you’re winning.  As long you’re not being beaten by a) the Padres, b) the Dodgers OR c) the Phillies, then all is completely well.  Or fill in your hated teams of choice in those spots.  Baseball is usually fun, I’ll say.  Except when the Giants are playing the Brewers or Rangers and my loyalties get all mixed up.

Can anyone say, “conditional statement” right now?!

Anyhow, the point is:  baseball is almost here.

We have almost survived the offseason.  (And if you haven’t, hello up there in heaven.  I’m glad to see they have good WiFi up there.)  Don’t ask how Tigger and Piglet apply to this situation.  They just do.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  How could I celebrate this fabulous day without some cupcakes?  If you answered, “You couldn’t!” then you are absolutely right.  Congratulations, you get a virtual cupcake as your prize.  And they’re even pink-ish for Valentine’s Day.  I am in love.  (With them.)

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My Supermodel Dreams Just Went Poof

You know, I’m not a Phillies fan- understatement of the year and it’s only January 2nd – but things like this make me ever-so-slightly question that.

The Giants aren’t really, er, a heroic team, I guess and I can’t lie, I am rather starved for heroics at the moment.  (Remember when Edgar did things like hitting grandslams in key games against the Rockies?  Those were the days, people.)  Which is basically to say that if Rubén Amaro Jr. ever loses his mind for 24 hours and feels the desire to trade Halladay for a couple of low-A prospects, I would not be at all adverse to the idea.

Also, any thought I had of going down to Brazil to visit or transform into a supermodel?

Ha.

Poof.

Gone.

In one gust of thick blue smoke.

My hair- heck, any of me- is not what we would call “anaconda friendly”.

Goodbye, dreams of my childhood.  Unfortunately, Roy Halladay is not there to rescue me most of the time so I think I will have to avoid your land.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I’m starting to get totally into the Spring Training mood.  Which is good except… Spring Training is still a good long way off.  Cinnamon coffee, where are you comfort me when I need you?

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Papelbon and Cheesesteaks, Executive of the Year Stuff and Kemp and His Billion Years

Papelbon to the Phillies was announced officially today.

(Do I use those eyes too much?  Well, of course I do.  But then again, I am so bemused most the time that they are the only way to express my emotions.  A picture speaks a thousand words and all that.)

It’s a boatload of money and a boatload of years.  You want specifics?  Fine, more specifically, it’s four years, 60 million.  For Papelbon.  Yeah.  That makes sense, right?  I don’t meant to question the wonderfulness of Rubén Amaro Jr. or anything like that, but I personally would pay that kind of money to send Papelbon elsewhere- anywhere else than my team.  Still, if he was going to leave, him and dem Phils were probably a match made in heaven.  Okay, yes, I kinda really don’t dig Jonathan.  That much is clear.

But does he like cheesesteaks, I wonder?

(Sorry, terribly, necessary joke.)

Anyhow, my whole thing from last year about being willing to get stuffed into someone’s suitcase to go the General Manger meetings still stands true.

I mean, don’t endless talks about labor plans and the ‘Stros moving leagues- will they?  Won’t they?  Will they?  Won’t they?- sound absolutely riveting?

(Not, that is.)

Then again, I would dearly love to be there when Jon Daniels is named Executive of the Year.

Because he will.

He most definitely will.

Or else… there will be consequences.  Dire ones.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  And, oh, Dodgers?  Not to question your brilliance either, but do you really- and I mean really- want Kemp for so many billions of years?  Think carefully.  Yes, there is a right answer.  Yes, you are totally being tested.

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