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5 Potential Better Closers for the Giants

5.  Neftali Feliz.   To save him from Jon Daniels’ clutches.  Jon Daniels who pokes him in the back with a knife and makes him start and whatever, when Neftali really just wants to close.  No, I have never read anything to this effect, but I can just intuit these things, you know?

4.  Ryan Gosling.  Because he’s good at everything.  He even saves lives.  Not that I read the celeb gossip columns or anything.

3.  LeBron James.  He no longer needs to win rings and prove The Haters wrong, so maybe he should get into baseball.  Closing, specifically.  For the Giants, most specifically.  I hear he’s a great, selfless clubhouse personality, too.

2.  Anyone Billy Beane picks.  Because Billy Beane loves closers.  Courtesy of Moneyball: “You could take a slightly above average pitcher and drop him into the closer’s role, let him accumulate some gaudy number of saves, and then sell him off.  You could, in essence, buy a stock, pump into up with false publicity, and sell it off for much more than you’d paid for it.  Billy Beane had already done it twice, and assumed he could do so over and over.”

1.  Santiago Casilla.  Looking like an increasingly appealing option, after making this list.

Casilla’s had a bad couple little stretch and is now basically unavailable with a blister on his finger.  The masses of craz—I mean, wonderful fans are calling for Sergio Romo to be handed the closer job and while I love Romo, I, um, do not agree.  Even aside from Romo’s recurring injury problems, which could make the job problematic for him, I think Casilla deserves a little benefit of the doubt.

Also, he bats.

If I’d proposed a year or two ago that he would make a fantastic closer, you would have laughed at me.  Every one of you.  Reason I didn’t propose it is that I, too, would have laughed.  So just now I propose that we all just sit back and give Casilla a moment.  Or two.  Or three.  And use now-free moments to meditate on the unfairness of pitching on a team that doesn’t reallyever hit.  Ryan Vogelsong is probably a saint.

In other news, the Rangers have an even more ridiculous number of All Stars than the Giants.

 

Diamond Girl

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Forty Minute Podcasts and the Joe Nathan Fan Club President! (Hint: It’s Not Me.)

For today, I am just going to hand off this this gold nugget of an interview from ESPN Dallas, with Rangers general manager Jon Daniels.  It’s forty minutes long, so they go more in depth than is usually possible in a radio interview and it also means that you need to go devote forty minutes of your life to it (time well spent, trust me) so I should probably let you go.

But first… I snorted noisily when I heard him say they were committed- again!- to Neftali starting and Joe Nathan being the closer.  My sister, sitting nearby, inquired as to the noisy snorting.  When I told her, I also added a choice, Who even likes Joe Nathan?!  (Sorry, Joe.  I’m sure you’re a wonderful guy.  I was just annoyed at the moment.)

Anyhow, a few minutes later, I got an email with this screen grab from aforementioned sister.

She has appointed herself president of the Official Joe Nathan Fan Club, too.

Don’t I possess a fabulous sister?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Go listen.  Seriously.  Or I will track you down and feed you cupcakes until you die.

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One Tough Act to Follow

(How cheesy is it to use an Eminem line when talking about a Detroit ballplayer?  Very cheesy indeed.)

Verlander.  One tough act to follow, no doubt about it.

Not only is he funny and sweet and humble, he also won 20+ games, went to the ALCS and then won the American League MVP today, backing up his Cy Young Award win last week.  First pitcher to do it since 1986.  (Cue the googly eyes.)

Whoa.  Whew.  And other expressions of surprise and admiration that begin with “W”.

Congratulations to Justin and the Tigers and the city of Detroit and Marshall Mathers, III, while we’re at it.  And Chrysler.  And Ford.  Actually, not Ford.  They make hideous cars.  Just Justin and the Tigers.

But can I just get all critical here, though, and suggest how mega-ly dramatic this all would have been a red carpet show?  I think I’ve said this before.  In fact, I’m sure I have.  But really, picture it.  Baseball players in wonderful silver suits and funny presenters- like, yes, myself- and major drama, camera-cutting-from-face-to-face as the announced the award winners.

Some crocodile tears wouldn’t be too bad either.

And hey, if you can get someone who happens to be Jennifer Lopez to wear a sparkly bodysuit and drive around in a weird car on stage?  That’s even better.

But why or why or why do the Rangers insist on Neftali starting and then put a knife to his back and make him pretend to like it (looking at you, Jon Daniels Knife Bearer)?  Speaking of drama.

Diamond Girl

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I Am Starting To Forget How It Feels For the Giants To Be At Home And Other Assorted Depressingness

At nine o’clock this morning I was totally perky with my Madden Girl pumps, a new Banana Republic salmon colored mini and cheerleader ponytail to go be a cheerleader at a student music recital.  At three o’clock this afternoon I was still being a cheerleader, this time sitting in Little League bleachers, totally wilted, unable to think from pollen allergies, with winter boots more suited for a Transylvanian winter than a Bay Area May 1st and hair that was limp as spaghetti.

Which is all to say I only heard about five minutes of today’s game and it was in the third when the Nats tied it up.  Which is not to say that I am a bad luck charm.  Just that it was depressing.  And it seems a lot of other things were depressing about this game.  Aubrey is under .200 (what?  Yes, he is.)  Darren Ford got caught stealing for the second day in a row and the Giants scored a dismal two runs on seven hits with a sore luck losing Matt Cain.  Ugh.  That is all.

Yesterday’s game was one that triggered a brilliant, Giants Baseball: WEIRD! on Twitter (@Mikayla_Trimble) and left me scratching my head.  I don’t even know where to begin with that one.  All I’ll say is that win or lose this team is desperately off and Sabean and Bochy have to be putting their heads (I wouldn’t want my head near Bochy’s.  It’d look really… small.) together and plotting a makeover.  And I’m not talking the kind that includes a fresh t-shirt and hip bangs.  I mean things like figure out how to get Ishi on this team or maybe how to get Whiteside in there a little more often and maybe a pass for a nice little two week vacation to the Seychelles Islands for Aubrey to celebrate his new batting average.  Seriously.  I just think he needs a few days on the bench.  If you’re that adverse to the idea of a few days at the beach.  And it’s beyond unfortunate about Travis.  Gurus, help me out.  I know he’s out of options and off the 40 man, but does that really (or effectively) mean that he can’t rejoin the Major League team for the rest of the season?

Meanwhile the Rangers are in Oakland.  And having some miscommunications through the press.  Again.  What is their problem?

 

They also hit homeruns like there was no tomorrow yesterday and now that it is tomorrow they hit none.

It was a bad day in baseball but the good(ish) news is that the Giants are tied for second place and the Rangers are in first, if only by half a game.  Tomorrow will be better, right? 

And I am so over the roadtrip.  I am starting to forget how it feels for the Giants to be at home.  Not like I miss it.  I just can’t quite remember it.  It’s like when homesickeness turns into that dull ache.  This is getting more depressing by the second.  Have a delicious dinner and we’ll talk again tomorrow.

Diamond Girl

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Pressure Points That Relieve Headaches For World Series Winning Teams To Play Better At Home

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I got my contest prize yesterday, which is this beautiful photo book, “Freak Season”.  It has some fascinating little moments and I definitely recommend it to people who are Tim Lincecum fans (though no one is as big as me.  I am the ultimate Tim Lincecum fan.)  Yesterday was a good day.  Today?  Not so much.

 

Reasons today was depressing:

 

·         The Giants were on Fox.

I try not to be one of those endless complainers about national media but the broadcasters today made me want to pluck my eyeballs out with forks.  Not literally.

 

·         The Giants lost.

Dismally.  In the fog.

 

·         Pat Burrell attempted to run.

I never thought I would feel badly for him, but today I ever so slightly did.  It was painful to watch him run.  And what is with his eyebrows?  If someone doesn’t want to do anything with their eyebrows, I won’t pick on them.  But his look done.  Just bizarrely.

 

·         Tim Lincecum attempted to pitch.

And failed.

 

·         Tim Hudson pitched.

And succeeded brilliantly.  I have a little Big 3 nostalgia for him, but not when he’s blowing my Giants away.  Without even huffing and puffing.  Profoundly effortless, on his part.

 

·         The offense attempted to hit.

And failed.

 

·         Neftali Feliz was placed on the disabled list.

With right shoulder inflammation.  The club said that it’s sort of precautionary, since he’s so young.  My fingers are solidly crossed that that is true.

 

·         MLB has a new ad featuring Brian Wilson’s beard that is seriously nauseating.  

May I just say that epic is not always a compliment?  As in, epic can be an adverb, paired with words such as, “ridiculous”, “hideous” and/or “plain stupid”.  On KNBR the other day, they had the topic “Who’s your favorite Giant?” and I was floored by the lack of Brian Wilson responses.  I thought I was the odd one out in being sick of the act.  I don’t  think so.  He needs some serious image consultation.

 

There was some comic relief, though.  Like the girl with the “Marry Me, Ryan Braun” sign.  I don’t feel like I’m on high enough ground to pick on her, but at least my sign was a non-committal statement and it sure didn’t have my phone number.  My ground is at least a few inches higher, right?

 

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And I guess it’s sort of good news that the Giants are going on a 10 game roadtrip after tomorrow, because they seem better on the road, though their record is just about even.  I mean, I would be too, if there were crazy people with smeared eye-black and orange chest paint yelling strange cheers at 100 decibels.  Which is why I want Meditation Day at the ballpark and I would be a bad baseball player because I would choke when delivering the “the fans were so loud, it was amazing” line.  Although maybe they mean amazing in a bad way…?  Because otherwise I don’t get it.  I wonder if they are given a handbook after they win the World Series about pressure points that relieve headaches.  That could be useful.  For the players and the fans, actually.  I’m going to try acupressure next time I’m there.

 

Diamond Girl

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