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Retraction. Things You Shouldn’t Know About the Twins

They hit.  A lot.  On occasion.  Occasions like last night.  That is something we all wish we didn’t know about the Twins.  Fear not!  I’m going to make you feel a lot better.  Therapy Emily is here.

But first, wipe that horrified look off your face.

Yes, Madison Bumgarner made history as the first pitcher since 1900 to let in eight runs, while only recording one out.  Yes, the Giants, while they got nine hits, only managed two runs.  Yes, it was a basically horrifying night.

But at the same time, it’s an easier loss to take for me as a fan.  Because it was a no-doubter, you know?   Madison was absolutely, utterly terribly.  That’s it.  That’s what went wrong. 

Likelihood is?  He’ll be just fine in the future.  And even if this were to be a signal of things to come for him in the future, I don’t know why people are calling for him to be traded right now.  This is the worst possible moment to trade him.  His stock is at its lowest.  Wait for him to squeeze out some quality starts and then trade him, if you must.  Additionally, I disagree with people saying he should be sent down or skip a start.  His morale is probably also at its lowest.  Unless there’s an underlying, bigger physical or mechanical issue that they know of, I think they should let him take the mound in five days.  And see how it plays out.  Show a little confidence in him.

Zito, of course, took last night to throw a two hit, complete game shutout for Fresno, making a nice little bid for a spot in the wacky rotation.  But Bochy denies anything happening with Bumgarner and says he’s meeting with Barry today, which sounds foreboding, but maybe I’m just paranoid.  We’ll see.

A little brightsideness?  Today is Ryan Vogelsong and I actually think he could be a stopper.  Never thought I’d write those words.  But baseball is a strange game.

Try saying that to Madison Bumgarner.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Dodger Stadium today?  Oh. My. God.  That is so empty it’s not even funny.  And believe me, I find just about everything about the Dodgers funny.

Photo via @dylanohernandez

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10 Things You Should Know About the Twins

So.  Interleague play with the Twins kicks off tonight in San Francisco.  As National League people, I figure we could all use a few facts about our opponent for the coming three days.   Here goes.

10.  They play at Target Field.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Target.  But Target Field?  I can’t like that.

9.  Their slogan this year is “This Is Twins Territory”.  You know the point when alliterative becomes corny?

8.  Their catcher (Joe Mauer, that is.  You may have heard of him?) does commercials for Head and Shoulders Shampoo.  I will love this guy forever.  Too great.

7.  They’re named the Twins like the Twin Cities.  À la “Boy meets girl… Romeo and Juliet… Sampson and Delilah… Minneapolis and St. Paul…” –Groucho Marx

6.  Their General Manager is named Bill Smith.  Search that on Wikipedia.  Because of the number of people who come up, they’re all subdivided into industries.   It’s something to see.

5.  They are in second to last place in their division…

4. …but are 9-1 in their last 10…

3.  …and on a 7 game winning streak

2.   Then again, they last played the Padres and we all know how easy it is to beat San Diego.  I mean, just look at the Giants record versus them last year!  Okay, forget it.  Don’t.

1.  Despite how scary the last few Facts About the Twins might seem, they are human.  Very human.  Make that 31-39 on the year.  So, you know.  Not too scary.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Speaking of totally great commercials?  I know I’m a little late to the party, but the MLB Always Epic campaign is brilliance.  Minus the strange Wilson one.  But Fielder’s ball flying over Mongolia and Ubaldo’s overall adorableness?  Perfection.

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