Tag Archives: michael young

My Unicorn!

Michael Young is a Phillie.

Despicable Me -  Unicorn GIF

Oh, Despicable Me.

That was how I reacted.  Michael Young was my unicorn in that he was like a fluffy stuffed animal and I was very attached to him and more specifically, attached to him as a Ranger.  That man was a Ranger for a very long time.  “How long, Obi Wan Kenobi?” Luke Skywalker might ask.  “A very long time,” Obi Wan would answer.

Now I get that baseballisabusinessMichaelYoungisstillabaseballplayertheRangershadtodoit and all of that, but I’m still sad.  These made-over Rangers are going to take some time to get used to.  (Mike Napoli in Boston red, what is up with that.)  I wish I had Gru to take me to the amusement park to get a new Michael Young in a Rangers uniform.

I blame Hollywood for giving us kids false perceptions of beauty and false hopes about what happens when our stuffed unicorns are disintegrated.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Presumably Young had some say/a lot of say in where he landed, yes?  Which would mean that he chose Philadelphia?  But who would willingly choose to live in Philadelphia and be a Phillie?  I bet he and Cliff Lee are going to be besties.

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Not Your Mother’s Winter Meetings Round-Up

(I don’t know your mother.  No promises.)

The Winter Meetings are coming to a close and the path for the Giants has been surprisingly – eerily – straightforward?  They leave Nashville with 2012 heroes Marco Scutaro and Angel Pagan resigned for a comfortable three and four years respectively and now we’re left to decorate our Christmas trees and negotiate a long-term extension with our catcher who, yeah, just won an MVP and stuff.  Of course, the offseason is far from over and neither of the biggest free agents, Hamilton and Greinke, have signed anywhere yet, but for the Giants, the payroll is close to maxed out and aside from a platoon outfielder to rev up Gregor Blanco or a backup cupcake baker to… make cupcakes, I guess, they seem pretty much set.  (I volunteer for backup cupcake baker.)

Against some odds, it looks like nearly the entire 2012 team will be back for another go at it, which is exciting and definitely different than the offseason after the 2010 championship.  I am terribly excited about this.

Meanwhile, pretty much everyone else is in mega-rebuild mode which, if you’re the Yankees, means grabbing old Giants players and if you’re the Cubs means sitting back and being all, We got this (I sure hope they do – I have a running wager that they will win a World Series by 2016, so it better happen).

I think the most interesting development by far from these meetings, though, was the growing possibility that Hamilton will end up back in Texas after all.  I mean, the attraction of DFW obviously made Yu Darvish choose the Rangers, but still, if it happens, it will be unexpected, considering early signs.  I am secretly (well, not secretly anymore) hoping it does happen.  Hamilton in any other colors would be too weird.  People changing teams confuses me.  Yeah, I’m obviously perfectly suited to being a baseball fan.

Speaking of which?  Michael Young: Stay the hell put.  Remember the kid you made cry when you and JD had a catfight?  Yeah.  That kid is a few years older and probably a few years cuter, too.  Not a good idea to not be a Ranger anymore.  Viral Video Land would have a field day.

Diamond Girl

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Curious About How Weird Trends Like Cinnamon Roasted Walnuts and the Despicable Me Balloon Scene Started? Look No Further.

The mini-vacay is over!  All I ever dream about now is Jack Bauer threatening to shoot me and Alec Baldwin being my evil boss (which is to say, I spent the vacay watching old episodes of 24 and 30 Rock) and I’ve also spent an unreasonable amount of time meditating on the 2011 baseball season.

I am refreshed and ready to write.  (Sort of.)

I figured I’ll deal with the New Year Resolutions tomorrow- procrastination?  Heck yes.- and today go over some of the big baseball moments from the past year.  That is, big baseball moments from this blog right here.  Best Diamond Girl moments might be a more appropriate title.  Ready?  Okay, here we go.

Phew.  Okay.  The year, in a nutshell.  Say what you will about my list, I will bet it was better than some of those Yahoo stories they’re spamming my with right now.

So what was your favorite baseball moment from 2011?  Or, better still, favorite Diamond Girl moment?

Diamond Girl Herself

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It’s Time, 2.0! This One Goes Out to AJ Preller.

I am not trying to advertise a cheesy horror film or anything , but: g.o.o.s.e.b.u.m.p.s.  Seriously.

I totally felt a clinch in my bones when I woke up this morning so I spent the day in a mildly vegetable-like state, lying in various variations of beds (floor, couch, other bed etc.) and listening to some lame John Mayer stuff.  The idea was to not let myself get too worked up, because I knew I’d get plenty worked up tonight.

And it was all for naught.  I mean, the lazing was fun and all but then tonight’s game was actually not too stressful at all.  It was a veritable (okay, too big a word for a baseball blog, I know) RBI party, instead.

I love RBI parties.

Sorry, am I not making a whole lot of sense?  That probably has something to do with the fact that I am standing up and whooping and clapping my hands together in glee between every few words I write.  That does lead to some incoherent sentences, you know.

Anyhow!  The game just ruled for so many reasons, including, but not limited to the fact, that Michael Young was completely awesome and then glared at Jon Daniels on the podium and JD glared right back.  My brother claims I was imagining that, but I am quite positive I was not.  (I mean, remember this and this?)

The confetti was also utterly fabulous, too.  I have a weakness for confetti and when I started to fall, anything that was left of my, “I am a full-time Giants fan and am not getting too emotionally invested in this.” mantra vaporized into the brownie-tinged air.  Why brownies, you ask?  Well, it was National Desert Day yesterday and I couldn’t resist the opportunity.  That’s why.

The only thing that bothered me about the whole ceremony, though, was the lack of AJ-Preller-thanking.  I, personally, am something of a massive Preller fan and believe that Ogando was an MVP in this series, right up there with Cruz.  Ogando is, of course, a Preller-ism.  But no one said a word in all their copious thank you’s.  So AJ, if you’re out there?  I thank you very heartily.  And give you a hug and some of those brownies.

And hey, say what you will about Laura Bush but I got a couple good looks at her during the broadcast and I want her lipstick color.  Tim McCraver’s, though?  Not so much.  My best guess at the shade was Frosted Fuchsia.  Ick, FOX.  You should know better.   I present you this lipstick matching guide as a helpful tip.

It’s Time, 2.0, people.  I cannot wait for the World Series.  c.a.n.n.o.t.w.a.i.t.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  The Napoli chant rocks.  That is all.

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Some Unique First Hai– I Mean, First Half Awards

What did I take away from the 2011 All Star Game?

Justin and Jessica are having issues.  On-again-off-again is off right now.  So much for them eating tacos together, TMZ et al.  He was acting psycho.

(Note lame Fan Cave promos everywhere.)

Seriously, I was hoping he’d at least have a snappy outfit in the Bad Clothing Center of the Play aka the All Star Game, but no such luck.  His hat was nearly as terrible as that shirt.   Anyways, he’s now confirmed he’s a Dodger fan, so my Timberlake moment is over.  Flashing lights and all.

Anyway!

The game itself was kind of boring, except for Ogando and Gio pitching back to back.  That was fun.  But even when Wilson came in, the drama felt 100% manufactured.  I didn’t know who to root for, because I can’t decide how I feel about home field advantage and also because I actually liked more people on the AL squad, because the Giants don’t really play them so I have fewer negative memories of them hitting homers off us or whatever.  You know.  So I rooted for individuals and mostly just enjoyed all the players smiling at each other.  That’s so cute.

So I figure now that’s all over, I should do some mid-season awards.  Here we go:

First Half MLB Awards

Most Improved Hair: Michael Young

As previously discussed, the haircut goes a long way to making Michael look less like an evil blackmailer of Jon Daniels.  I’m liking him quite a lot right now.

Most Improved Facial Hair:  Barry Zito

I hated the ‘stache from moment 1.  The silver lining to Barry’s injury was that the superstitious baseball player that he is, he shaved it off.  And has come back lookin’ and pitchin’ better than ever.

Most Worsened Facial Hair:  Prince Fielder

This goes out to Wilson too:  beards like that make you look homeless.  Not to mention 10+ years older.  Bad idea all around.

Best GM: Theo Epstein

First everyone thought the Sox were going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Then everyone thought they were going to be a total bust.  I think we’re back to the greatest thing since sliced bread stage now.

Giant MVP: Nate Schierholtz

‘Nuff said, Giants fans.

Moment That Doug Melvin Outed Himself as a Shopaholic:  Ryan Braun’s Extension

I just can’t get it out of my head that they’re paying him through 2030.  Who knew that Doug and Rebecca Bloomwood are kindred spirits?

Best Brandon Moment: Tie between Brandon Crawford’s Homer in Debut and Brandon Belt’s Opening Day Call-Up

Our Brandons have made for some pretty great moments this year.

Worst Brandon Moment: Brandon Phillips Hit Which Resulted in Freddy Going Down

Other people’s Brandons?  Not so much.

So what are you awards and strongest memories from this 2011 first half?  Tell me, just because there’s been no real baseball for days and I am going through withdrawal.  Thanks.

Diamond Girl

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