Tag Archives: miami

Battle of the 55s

The pitching matchup for tonight!

Am I thousand years behind everyone else in noticing this?  Alternately, seeing as there are a thousand and one 55s in MLB, does nobody else care?  Tonight is a big game, of course, because every Lincecum start is a chance at redemption and what better way to lead into redemption than that 12-7 win last night?  (Correction:  Thanks to tweeter @jeni_2782 for pointing out that the final was actually 14-7.  Say what?  I’m telling you, I can’t keep track of a team that actually scores runs.)  I am not used to those crooked numbers, not used to them at all.  I mean, for a little bit there, I felt like I was watching the Rangers.  Then I remembered that the Rangers have a cool General Manager who broadcasts a few innings of his team’s games on the radio and things and the Giants have Brian Sabean.  Talk about a reminder of what’s what.  That was kind of a sad moment but still, I enjoyed the game.

The Marlins stadium still weirds me out but, hey, if nightclubs are kind of their thing, who am I to criticize?  I am setting my wedding date with Kate Spade New York as I write.  Besides, that tidbit about the club section being so loud they couldn’t hear the phone in the bullpen is seriously priceless.  Remember when Tony La Russa suggested smoke signals because there was a big miscommunication between the bullpen and the dugout?   I thought it was a fantastic idea.  The Marlins might consider it too, just as long as they can figure out how to create teal smoke.  I have complete faith on that front.

The internet knows what I’m talking about.

Let’s also just talk Melky Cabrera for a moment, before I go.  That guy, guys.  He is the best thing to happen to San Francisco since Joe Martinez or something.  (No sarcasm there, I am terribly partial to Joe Martinez.  Never mind the stats.)  I admit to being perpetually puzzled by the Melk Men thing – I think it’s before my time maybe… don’t judge but I kind of get my milk at a grocery store – but with due love to J-Sanch, the Giants got the best part of that trade.   The best, the best.  Observe:

Tiene Leche, as the Yankees used to say.  Maybe we’re not cursed after all?

Diamond Girl

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You Know What I Wanted to Title This Post

In other news, I am embarrassed to admit that I am rather partial to the fish tank at the Miami Marlins new stadium.  Although knowing my fish, who is the most antisocial creature I have ever come across in my life, I can’t imagine the fishies are all that good company at the ballgame.

Also worth noting:  yesterday’s starter for the Brewers, Marco Estrada, has been placed on the Disabled List today, following an injury against the Giants in the first inning when he hurt his leg, running out a 2-run double.  I don’t have any stats to back this up but he must be, oh, the five millionth player to head to the DL after facing the Giants.  A lot of people have discussed the Giants being cursed this year — something about handing over their souls to win the 2010 World Series — but if we’re really talking curses?  Talk to the myriad of guys San Francisco has injured, in some way or other.  I am sure they would be happy to spill, through their full body casts or whatever.

Said with no glee whatsoever.  Injures are terrible, whether or not it’s the opposing team or even a player I detest.  But it is a trend worth raising an eyebrow and poking one’s voodoo dolls about, perhaps.

Vogelstrong or, as I like to call him, Baby Lemur, is on the mound tonight.  I think I have a good feeling about this.  (To be removed from post promptly after game if the Giants lose.  Feel free to screen-grab for posterity in the meantime.)

If you get past the fact that there is no resemblance, isn’t there totally a resemblance?

Diamond Girl

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An Open Letter to Morning Games

Dear Morning Games,

You are a fun phenomenon that we get here on the West Coast.  You are probably preferable to whatever East Coasters get – staying up until the wee hours of the morning for California games, I suppose.  But with great power comes great responsibility, you know that, right?  (Semi) singlehandedly you are able to either make or ruin a day.

See, if you come on at 10:10am, there’s a certain element of being catalytic in a person’s day.  Call me dramatic, but I firmly believe this be true.  Point is, starting out with a six run inning?

That is not acceptable.  I get that Barry Zito is allergic to Miller Park or whatever and it’s unethical to keep the roof half open, half closed (cooee, Bud Selig!) but those are not really excuses, when you factor in that you also ruined my coffee and distracted me from all of the things I kindasortareally should have been doing.  8-5 final is better than I was expecting, but it’s still not, well, good.

The game fell apart in a lot of ways, you know, not only Zito.  Case in point:  only two of the six runs scored off of him were earned.  He didn’t look good, by any stretch of the imagination, but the defense was also something akin to abysmal.  Additionally, no one can hit with RISP, so then there’s that.  But I’m not blaming you for that part.  Really, I’m not.  I get that you are basically innocent in this situation.  Just, you know, venting ‘cause we’re buddies and stuff, right?

Yeah.  You get it.

The Giants are off to Miami now, to face Ozzie Guillen’s Marlins for Memorial Day Weekend.  You’re off the hook until the next 10:10am game on Sunday.  We part as friends, then, darling morning games?  Until I find a way to eliminate you?  Might include some elimination of time zones but I’m always down for a challenge.

Make that, usually down for a challenge.  Dealing with Barry Zito melting like an ice cream cone in the sun is not in my job description.  I knew this photo would come in handy again, somehow.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  My actual inspirational jazz for the day?  As they always say, if a team wins each series they play, even without sweeping, that’s pretty darn good.  Nasty final games in a series that is already won are forgettable, thankfully.  Excuse me while I prepare the Kool-Aid.

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My Dreams Have Officially Been Crushed

In today’s depressing news, “@Yoenis_Cespedes” on Twitter is not really the Cuban outfielder who reportedly closed a deal with the A’s yesterday worth $36 million.  (You could buy about ten gourmet cupcakes ‘round here with that kind of money.)  Why is this depressing?  Check out one of the account’s recent tweets:

also my fans i will be honest with u on this ok i really like oakland a jerseys and shoes they are very style and miami was just ok really

I was seriously clapping my hands together in glee at reading that.  I was all, “We have someone who is actually vaguely fashion-conscious on a Bay Area sports team!”   (Barry Zito lost that title when he wore this, of course.)  Then Jane Lee, of mlb.com, went and shot down once and for all that that was really his account.  Which was good journalism and everything, but still decidedly depressing.

I do have to agree with the troll- I mean, person- running the fake account, though.  Oakland’s uniforms are a thousand times better than those Miami ones.  Especially those new weird rainbow ones that they’re rolling out with their new stadium which may or may not also be rainbow themed.  Unconfirmed on that, but I’m working on it.  If anyone every did a baseball themed fashion show, I would totally recommend the A’s as a model.  Open for loose interpretation, of course.  Loose loose interpretation.  Just because I said they’re good in the scheme of baseball uniforms doesn’t mean I’m saying they’re ready for the runways.

Anyhow!  The Giants were so kind as to inform me very cheerfully via iPhone notes app that Spring Training is now three days away.

This was the photo reminder.  Instagramed, no less.

Three days!  Staying on the topic of cupcakes, since I can make cupcakes from scratch in just under 13 minutes, I could make about 220 batches of cupcakes, which is about 2640 cupcakes, between now and Spring Training starting.  Perhaps enough to feed the Giants 25 man roster?  Or to open my own gourmet cupcake shop that sells them for a slightly more reasonable price?

That would, of course, all be contingent on my taking no breaks on the baking front for three days.  Not even to check Twitter or scroll through photos of badly dressed celebrities.  Read: unlikely.

Still, this all goes to show that Spring Training is very soon.  To make a long story short.  Which is good news indeed.

Diamond Girl

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How I Imagine a Marlins/Reyes Meeting Would Go Down

Miami, Florida.  Wednesday, November 9th, 2011 around noon.  Traditional Florida things like crocodiles and alligators or whatever are in the vicinity, poking their noses into the scene.

Jose Reyes walks up and shakes hands with team president, David Samson, owner, Jeffrey Loria and GM, Michael Hill.  Reyes is wearing some jeans that droop ever so slightly and are distressed, ever so slightly.  Aviator sunglasses and a punk(ish) t-shirt complete the über-hip look.

Samson, Loria and Hill are in slightly (slightly?) less hip outfits.  Men’s Warehouse type suits, that is.

Samson:  Jose!  Great to see you.

Loria:  Yes, definitely, Mr. Reyes.  (He emphasizes the last word and shoots a death-stare to Samson.)

Hill (interjects):   How was your flight?

Reyes (yawns):  Oh, alright.  Thanks, guys.

(At this point there is a long, somewhat awkward silence.)

Samson:  So, Jose!  Would you like to see the new stadium maybe?  Have a bite to eat?

Jose (finally actually looks at him and then all of them)Where are your suits from?

(Beat.)

Hill:  Um, I don’t remember where I bought it.  Why do you ask?

Jose:  I am positive that I saw that suit at Men’s Warehouse.  Are you kidding me?  Is this a joke?  You expect me to sign with a team so cheap that they buy their suits at Men’s Warehouse?

Samson (triumphantly):  How would you know it was at Men’s Warehouse?  You couldn’t know that unless you shopped there yourself!  (Shoots a look to Loria which is all, I just got in a major line for you.  Loria has an stunning impassive face on.)

Reyes (glares):  Whatever, dudes. 

Loria:  In fact, our payroll is going up a lot in the coming year, Mr. Reyes.  We are hardly cheap.

Hill:  Indeed!  We’re going to making a lot of positive acquisitions to make this team a serious contender.

Reyes (pondering):  Florida Marlins… serious contender…

Loria:  Miami Marlins, you mean.  Miami Marlins.

Reyes (puzzled):  Whatever, dudes.

Samson:  Well, then.  Want some of our amazing new cuisine we’ll be offering at the new stadium?   Some caviar, maybe?

Reyes (puts up hand, warningly):  Sorry, no can do.  I’m on a new, nutritionist recommended diet, so I only eat one food group per day.  Fish day is Sunday.  Sorry.

Loria:  What food is it today?

Reyes:  Wednesday is… I forgot… (pulls out white iPhone and scrolls for a bit.  At last-)  Oh.  You know, it was nice meeting with you guys.  If you want to make an offer to my agent, you can, but I really gotta get going. 

Loria:  We have so many awesome amenities, not to mention our new logo an—

(He stops, because Reyes has sauntered off, with his patented Baseball Player Stride.  The three men stand there in silence for a bit, and then Samson leaves, bent on getting a new suit and putting a clause in his contract that makes sure he will never have to meet with a player again.)

Diamond Girl

p.s.  If you head over and like my Facebook page (link on your right) I can promise you a lifetime supply of Chinese food to your doorstep, every night, around 7.  If you’re an early diner, you’re out of luck.  Or if you move, because it’ll keep going to the same address.  What a gift to bequeath to the next owner of your house, though!  So you should go like it now.  Xoxo and all that.

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