Tag Archives: marco scutaro

Say Hello to the Marco Scutaro Jokes

Before I get to the fabulousness of Marco Scutaro, I just want to comment on the other (semi)major storyline of today’s game. Courtesy of @RaelEnteenCSN on Twitter, we found out that Hunter Pence bought a new scooter and rode it to the ballpark today. He parked it in the clubhouse but then somebody took it for a joyride. That somebody being Marco Scutaro. (In other news, Twitter has completely ruined practical jokes, similarly to how it’s ruined gift-giving. Seriously, how many times a day do you see people tweeting about the gifts they’re going to give on Twitter? Do they really think the future recipient can’t, you know, look at their tweets?) Anyway. Back to the point. I took one thing away from this story. Say Marco Scutaro’s name out loud and you’ll understand.

Ahem. We’re going to leave that blip of immature hilarity in our past now, okay?

Scutaro did other things than have a name like a scooter. When there were runners in RISP – amazing enough to begin with – and it was the tenth and it was tied and we reallyreallyneededawin Scutaro came through and hit the ball did just that for the Giants on Labor Day and Star Wars Day and Orange-Banana Smoothie Day. Okay, I made that last part up. But still. A lot of people really came through and although Zito ended up struggling, after starting off quite well, the team put together a win. Aubrey Huff had his first at-bat since June when the Giants played the Rangers in the Best Series Ever and got a single and Guillermo Mota, cough syrup in hand – I kid, I kid – pretty much bombed. An interesting day over all and a very, very good win.

I’m off to celebrate Labor Day now. Speaking of kidding. I’ve never really understood how to celebrate Labor Day, but I haven’t watched The Hobbit trailer in a while and there all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies in the house, so that sounds like a celebration to me.

Diamond Girl

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Why Zack Greinke Needs a Coffee Maker, The Giants Need to Borrow Busch Stadium and Boromir Needs to Talk To Me

So that was a pretty marvelous road trip.  We’ve all heard about those teams that do well at home but are morbidly bad when they go on the road.  Zack Greinke famously offered up bad hotel coffee as his reason for allowing billions of runs on the road.  The Giants might offer up, oh, a ballpark that is permanently socked in with fog and has walls that stretch all the way to Southern California as their reason for not being able to really ever (never) score runs at home.  Greinke needs to just bring his own coffee maker.  The Giants solution is probably not so simple.  Global warming might help.  I’m not an Inconvenient Truth expert, but that’s not a short-term solution.  It’s going to get warmer before it gets colder and stuff, right?

Suggestion time!

a)      Borrow Coors Field.  Prop up San Francisco so that it’s at altitude.

b)      Borrow Busch Stadium.  Make San Francisco 100 degrees all the time.

c)       Get ridiculously good hitter off of waivers.  Ridiculously good hitter who’s also ridiculously expensive, so nobody else will claim him.  Winning the lottery would also help.  ‘Cause we’re kind of poor right now, according to Sabes et al.

d)      Have Ryan Vogelsong pitch every day.  Then we don’t have to score that many runs.  Any runs.  Ryan VogelALLOWSNORUNS.

e)      Score more runs.  Why am I not a GM, guys?  I have the most brilliant ideas.

They did win 15-0 last night.  They may or may not actually need my suggestions.  They’re kicking off a home series against the Rockies tomorrow night (smiley face – the Rockies, people) and things may very well continue being rosy.  With Brian Sabean’s Brainchild Marco Scutaro in the lineup?  Uh-huh.  This may very well continue being rosy.

Also, I am making frappuccino cupcakes right now so I’ll have more patience with the Giants foibles.  Frappuccino cupcakes make everything better.

Diamond Girl

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Fun Facts About Marco Scutaro and Stuff

Look, I know today didn’t go terribly well (understatement of the century?  Perhaps.), but if anyone can help these Giants out of the hole they are rapidly slipping into, Marco Scutaro is the one.  The One, in the romantic comedy sense of the term.  To start with, he’s played on pretty much every team that’s ever existed, which has to count for something.  That something might be figuring out accessories to match his various uniform colors or it might mean some fab experience that will really boost this team down the stretch.  I vote for both.  All of the teams he’s played on, per Wikipedia, just ‘cause:

  • Cleveland Indians
  • Milwaukee Brewers
  • New York Mets
  • Oakland A’s
  • Toronto Blue Jays
  • Boston Red Sox
  • Colorado Rockies
  • San Francisco Giants
  • Boy Band Heaven’s *NSYNC

(Let’s play, Catch the Fake Team Name, shall we?)

There’s also an interesting article about him over on ESPN, which you can read right here and it features his kind of fantastic welcome-to-the-Big-Leagues story.

It was a Sunday day game, so he went into the hotel coffee shop to have breakfast by himself. A couple of seats down, he recognized the Mets’ manager, Bobby Valentine. “Oh my God,” he thought to himself.

He hesitated. Should he go introduce himself? If he didn’t, Valentine might ask him later at the ballpark why he’d avoided him.

So he overcame his shyness and spoke to Valentine. “Hello, Bobby, I’m Marco Scutaro.”

Valentine answered, “Hi, kid, how you doing?” and resumed eating. Then Valentine, a gregarious type, looked up and said, “So, kid, do you live around here, or are you going to school in Cincinnati?”

“I’m Scutaro,” he said.”I’m your new player.”

Anyhows, beyond all of that, I am of the opinion that Charlie Culberson was not a piece of the future in the way you could argue Zach Wheeler was and while this deal is obviously less flashy than that one, it’s also lower risk with a potentially good and productive return.  Hey, it’s not like going big with Beltran worked out, after all that, and I think Scutaro makes a good deal of sense.  The Rockies may be a cool 18.0 games out of first but even so, I am secretly very partial to trading within the division.  Weakening teams that have a flag on our standings pole?  That makes me happy.  And while I’m admitting embarrassing things, it’s worth noting that I do have a Justin Timberlake song on my iPod.  I mean, I bought it to use it for a certain video I was making.  But I do still have it.

Willkommen aboard, Marco.  We have lousy weather and overenthusiastic fans (cough, cough) but we’re pretty fun all the same.  Also, we do not usually lose 10-0 to the Dodgers.  Like, that never happens.  Other than today.  Want to make sure it never happens again?  Please and thank you.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  In heartwarming news, Chris Stewart hit a big ole bomb in New York this evening and the Yanks setting a franchise record for homers in first 100 games of a season at 157.   (Speaking of cool and meaningless stats.)  Am I the only one who misses that guy?  Because I seriously do.

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