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Top 10 Movies That Will Throw You a Curveball

I will take you out of your suspense: I am still depressed today.  Because not only are all the Giants problems still raging, but yesterday the Best Closer Ever Who I Adore By the Way (Mariano Rivera, that is) twisted his knee before a game and torn his ACL.  The outlook is not rosy.  It may be the end of his career.  As I’ve mentioned here before, the Core Four were some of my first loves in baseball so this just feels sad on many levels.  Yankees fan @JaneHeller1 on Twitter said, “Watching Mo cry has completely traumatized me,” and I have to echo that sentiment.  The weather has improved over here, but I am still glum.

On that note, we’re going to do the Top 10 Movies That Will Throw You a Curveball (aka, are seriously depressing).  Here we go:

10.  Corpse Bride.  This one, I was not expecting to be sad, actually.  I am a massive fan of Tim Burton (says so in my header, guys) so I was excited to see it and did ended up enjoying it but man, was it was sad.  Twilight, you got nothing on that love triangle.

9.  The Lord of the Rings.  This makes both lists, because it is just that awesome. 

8.  Gallipoli.  War movies are some of the saddest around, but also some of the best.  This is one of my favorite war movies and I was reaching for my tissue box by the end.  That end is heartbreaking.  Consider yourself warned.

7.  Titanic.  Not for the reasons you think.  Full disclosure:  I didn’t make it to the end, so I can’t fully judge, but this was depressing indeed.  Depressingly bad.  I have a strong distaste for James Cameron and although I do like Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, that movie was unequivocally and sadly terrible in my book.

6.  The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.  This is the only short on the list and it actually won Best Animated Short at the Academy Awards a couple months ago.  It’s absolutely beautiful and very sweetly sad.  The whole thing is available on YouTube, so do yourself a favor and watch it.

5.  Winter’s Bone.  A girl trying to protect her younger siblings from a community in Missouri that has been torn apart by the meth trade.  Indie thriller and sad, sad, sad.  But good, good, good, too.

4.  Melancholia.  This Lars Von Trier apocalyptic allegory for depression is amazingly and terribly beautiful and will leave you a little bit shell-shocked and more than a little bit gloomy.

3.  Bright Star.  Historical movie about the basically tragic life of John Keats.  Dying of consumption and writing wonderful poems, need I say more?

2.  Finding Neverland.  I cried.  The End.  (Incidentally, why is Kate Winslet in so many sad movies?)

1.  Never Let Me Go.  And this one gets the prize for Making Diamond Girl Cry Harder Than She Has Ever Cried About a Movie Before.  I’ve seen it three times now and it just gets sadder with time.  It’s really one of my favorite films ever, but be prepared to sob your heart out before you watch it.

May the fourth be with you, darlings!  The Giants are going to turn it all around tonight!  (Probably.)

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I promise to actually talk about baseball tomorrow.

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Top 10 Movies to Watch When You Get Thrown a Curveball

Three adjectives to describe today in Giants-land:  depressing, depressing and (wait for it) depressing.  Not only did it start off with memories of last night’s unpleasant game, but then came the news that Pablo Sandoval needs surgery to remove the fractured hamate bone in his right hand and will be out for four to six weeks.  This announced, of course, a year to the day after Pablo had that surgery on his left hand.  Eerie baseball god stuff at its best.  Then there was another unpleasant loss, clinching a sweep by the Marlins in San Francisco and it’s been drizzling in a decidedly non-baseball-ish way all day.

I was not kidding when I said depressing, depressing and depressing.  May is not off to a good stuff over here.  Understatement of the year?  Perhaps.  But you know how I am, a semi-eternal optimist, so I’ve decided that rather than rehashing all of this horribleness any further, I am going to go a different route.  What route, you might ask?  The Top 10 Movies to Watch When You Get Thrown a Curveball, aka when you are depressed, route.  Not strictly baseball themed, but who knows, the players might get just the inspirational kick they need if they were to watch some of these.  And if you watch a few, I seriously can guarantee a good mood.  So!

10.  Annie Hall.  Just when you thought you had problems… this move will put things, er, in perspective.  You will feel positively normal and very lucky to be you when it finishes.

9.  The Pink Panther Strikes Again.  In the vein of laugh-out-loud movies, this rates right at the top of my list.

8.  The Lord of the Rings.  Not a comedy, but in terms of raising valorous feelings in you?  This is just about the best.

7.  Some Like It Hot.  Because black-and-white movies just have that quality to them.  And Marilyn movies, too.  Marilyn movies are a surefire to way to boost your mood.

6.  Holiday Inn.  Another black-and-white one, this time with Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby dancing and singing and bringing good cheer and peace on earth to everyone who watches.

5.  Robin Hood.  Um, speaking of inspiring valorous feelings?  If the Giants watched this, I would put money on a month of no losses.

4.  Confessions of a Shopaholic.  This is the newest one on the list and while from the outside, it looks like a romantic comedy, inside it’s much better than that.  It’s a hardcore comedy and an absolutely hilarious one at that.  Again, will make you feel positively normal by the end.

3.  Redwall (TV series).  This is the only TV series on the list and I’m featuring it because it is just that good. Brave mice defending their abbey against evil rats, while using crazy British slang and brandishing mini-swords?  Yes, please.  Childhood favorite, guys.

2.  Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Isn’t this everyone’s go-to film when they’re depressed?  Yeah.  I thought so.

1.  A Day at the Races.  Marx Brothers.  Need I say more?   (Watch the whole seven minutes.  “Worth it” does not even begin to cut it.)

So there you have it.  My motley rundown of the best non-depressing movies.  Tomorrow, if things are still not going our way, I’ll do a motley rundown of all the best depressing movies.  See?  Something to look forward to!  No need to feel down!

Diamond Girl

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Just You Wait, Gandalf is Going to Show Up Any Minute

Someone please tell me that I’ll look back on these days and laugh.  Thanks.  I appreciate that.

I mean, in a terrible way, I expected at some point people would start walking off against the Giants because, seriously, what goes around comes around!   (I did not just sing that loudly and out of key, in case you were wondering.)

Though in no terrible way did I expect the team to become maimed, smashed and twisted into strange shapes.  To this extent, at least.  This is just weird.

So here’s how I’m thinking about it:

The darkest point in the battle is right before Gandalf shows up and saves the day, right at dawn.


And at that point I will get a bumper sticker with this message:

Or maybe this one:

Diamond Girl

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5 Best Tim Lincecum Moments

Yesterday was a strange day. I forgot there was a Giants game. I think I actually forgot the Giants existed. Somewhere around the fourth hour of The Fellowship of the Ring director’s cut at AMC Theaters, it all came back to me. But I was too engrossed to care.

Evidently, the Giants squeezed out a win against the Diamondbacks in this as-super-important-as-June-series-get series. Since I spent the evening a several realities away, I’ll leave the breakdown of that game to others.

I woke up to see happy birthday messages to Tim Lincecum everywhere. Which reminded me…

He signed that ball for me last June 15th and the whole crowd of autograph seekers sang Happy Birthday to him. It was loads of fun. So in honor of his big day coming around again, I’ve made a list of my personal top 5 favorite Tim Lincecum moments.

5. August and Beyond

In 2010, Timmy faced adversity… but it was storybook adversity. The kind where there’s a clean, simple problem with a clean, simple, perfect ending. Sure, it didn’t feel that way while it was going on. But looking back? Couldn’t really have gone down better.

4. A Day In The Life

I absolutely loved this Comcast SportsNet show. It didn’t feel overly rehearsed or corny but it wasn’t boring either. It was just a nice little slice-of-life. Well done.

3. The Kiss

Remember her? The girl who said she wanted her first kiss from Tim Lincecum? And he totally gave it to her. Too sweet.

2. Beanies Galore

The beanies have gone rather MIA recently. But remember when he wore them all the time? To his first Cy Young press conference even? Those were the days. I love ‘em.

1. 15 Strikeouts

Everyone has baseball games they attended that they will never, ever forget. Timmy’s career high 15 strikeouts against the Pittsburgh Pirates is one of those for me. Orange K after orange K going up on the wall and him just never slowing down.

Happy Birthday, Timmy. You’re named The Franchise for a reason.

Diamond Girl

p.s. Can my cake which won me the Ultimate Tim Lincecum Fan award get an honorable mention? I think there’s, you know, a striking resemblance.

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