Tag Archives: joe torre

MLB Draft Day 1 Notes (aka, bestdayever notes)

Seriously, that was the title of my note in my notes app – because seriously, who writes notes without a notes app anymore? – because I love draft week so much that it is somewhat irrational, as I have previously explained.

First, a few notes on the show itself.  The Bud Selig portions kind of grated on my nerves.  If he had addressed some of my concerns, such as why the heck are there two game series’?  Or, why the heck isn’t there Intergalactic Play?  Or, Why do the Giants nev-ah have off days?  Or, Are you secretly the mastermind behind the TSA?  ‘Cause I already know you are.  Yeah.  He didn’t address any of that.  I had my best frowny face on whenever he took the podium, which was kinda sorta extremely often.

The first player who caught my attention was Kevin Gausman who went to the Orioles, 4th overall.  He’s a right-handed pitcher out of LSU and… he eats four powdered doughnuts between each inning when he’s pitching.  Not terribly strong in the math department, but if he were to pitch a complete game, wouldn’t that be, um, 36 powdered doughnuts?  I will not question.  He was drafted 4th overall.  He obviously knows what he’s doing.  But might I suggest he move from doughnuts to brownies?  Brownies are far more delicious, in my humble opinion.

In all of the draft previews I looked at, Albert Almora stood out to me as my absolutely favorite.  He’s 18 years old, an outfielder with a swing that is near identical to Ryan Braun (need I really say more?) and I had this irrational hope that he’d still be around when the Giants picked at #20 overall.  No such luck.  Apparently Theo and Jed and I all have the same taste in players, because he went to the Cubbies, sixth overall.   I hereby renew my prediction that Chicago will win a World Series in under five years.

The A’s went ahead and picked a high-school kid for the first time since the Bronze Age and he’s a shortstop named Addison Russell.  Most embarrassing song on his iTunes?  Mean, by Taylor Swift.  Billy Beane: I do not mean to question your wisdom, but… I totally do.  (I kid, I kid.  He looks pretty spectacular, in reality.)

According to tradition, a shout-out also has to go out to Stephen Piscotty who went 36th to the Cards as a compensation pick for Pujols.  He’s an engineering major from Stanford the only guy in the whole entire draft who was wearing a suit in his headshot.  Future fashion icon right there, guys.  And you heard it here first.

Courtney Hawkins, who went 13th to the White Sox, won the Best Draft Moment, hands down, with a backflip on live TV.  I sincerely can’t wait until he makes it to the Major Leagues because I have an inkling he will be loads of fun to watch.  I was terrified as he backflipped, but in retrospect?  Brilliance.  If baseball falls through, he can just become a full time internet sensation.

Joe Torre kicked off the compensation round and his “now on the clock” is infinitesimally better than Selig’s.  If I can’t be the new commish, can he, please?  He’s a veritable teddy bear, now that he’s not managing the Yanks or Dodgers anymore.  I have rapidly growing adoration for him.

If you’ve gotten to this point because all you really want to read about is the Giants pick, then you’ve finally gotten to the right place.  They took a right-handed pitcher out of Mississippi State named Chris Stratton.  I haven’t been able to get a terrible amount of info about him, so for now I’ll just welcome him to the Giants and say that, really, SF is not as beastly cold and foggy as they.  We have, like, one sunny day a year and it’s glorious!

I leave you with this MLB Network jewel…

Harold Reynolds:  If you look at his statistics, he’s just not quite there yet.  [on newly drafted player]

Other Analyst Whose Name I Don’t Know:  Well, obviously, clubs don’t draft based on stats.

Harold Reynolds:  *stony stare* 

Me:  Er, what do they draft based on then, Einstein?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  *cough* What is an “upside guy”? *cough*

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Why I Am Stoked About the Dodgers

I am stoked about the Dodgers!  Which is weird, seeing as me + Dodgers = extremely bad match.

But this news that Torre may be making an attempt at buying the Dodgers?   That is more than enough to be stoked about.  Fantastic news, my friends.

I mean, it means we won’t get to see him every five seconds doing interviews during postseason rain delays as a rep for MLB (which was completely fun) but it does mean that we may have a very villainous, loathe-worthy Dodger owner in the foreseeable future!

Loathing McCourt doesn’t feel right, because even hardcore Dodger fans mostly loathe him.  Not an arguing piece.


Absolutely dripping with Dodger blue terribleness.

In addition to which, it would make the rivalry more fun again and all that because we’d actually (hopefully) have a driven organization to compete against.  Assuming we are actually competing.  Which, with Baer the Evil Usurper in charge, is vaguely doubtful.

Speaking of which… has the offseason gotten eerily quiet lately or has the offseason gotten eerily quiet lately?  Sabean has either pricked his finger on a spindle and fallen asleep for 100 years (that is, until Spring Training) or Baer has a knife to his back and is all, “Do not make any moves, my young Padawan!”

Yes, I think Baer totally speaks Star Wars talk.

And no, I do not know if Sabes is actually younger than Baer, so the “young Padawan” thing is probably a little weird.

Yes, I could just Google it and be Creepy Stalker Diamond Girl and find both their birthdates, but you wouldn’t want to make me do that and keep me from the delicious coffee ice cream I am about to eat, now would you?

I thought not.

Diamond Girl


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A Dystopia, Featuring Churros, Bud Selig and Joe Torre!

I suffered through seeing a 2-0 lead vaporized in one swing of a Tiger bat in the third inning, only to miss the grand payoff in the 11th, on a wild goose chase that may or may not have been centered around my hair.  (Fine.  It was.  I admit it.)

Oh, did I mention that grand payoff?

It was grand in the sense that it was awesome, but also in the sense that it was a grand-freaking-slam from Nelson Cruz.  Walk-off.  In the 11th.  First walk-off grand slam in the playoffs in the history of Major League Baseball.  I’ve watched it over more times than I care to mention and it gives me goosebumps every time.  Seriously, haven’t these playoffs just been the most dramatic anyone could ever possibly have hoped for?  I can just imagine Joe Torre sitting in the stands, looking satisfied and evil.

Speaking of Torre!  I’m a little torn.  I think he looks less scary in a suit than in a uniform, but there’s also something vaguely menacing about the idea of him working of the league.  Um, dystopia waiting to happen, anyone?

I’m sure I’m being unfair to him and he’s a totally teddy bear, in reality, but… I can’t quite get rid of that image of him (in a Dodgers uniform, of course) being Selig’s silent, right-hand man as Bud takes over the US and makes candy illegal and makes everyone he doesn’t like sell churros or something.  Really, am I alone on this?

And if I am alone and you are staring at your computer screen in disbelief right now because of that rant, then blame FOX who interviewed him more times then they needed to, during the rain delay the other night and put all this jazz in my head.

Lastly, I would just like to say that I am very stoked for the Rangers and all, but they are most certainly testing my fandom by sporting those ridiculous beards.  Josh Hamilton looks like someone splashed tomato sauce on his face and Mike Napoli looks like he always shaves a little-too-high-onto-the-neck-which-turns-into-chin.  So, yeah, I have a little present for them.

Thank the stars Alexi is clean-shaven and I can still love him to death.  Okay, ‘nuff whining for the day.  Antlers and rain and cinnamon sticks in coffee to all!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Why do the Canadians get Thanksgiving before us?  Why?

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