Tag Archives: jed hoyer

Why I’m (Sort Of) Having Fainting Spells

 

This was me when I woke up this morning:

 

Because, I mean, the Rangers lost Game 1 of the World Series and we are also edging dangerously close to 2012, when *looks around suspiciously and then whispers* the world might end.  It was a depressing feeling.  There was also the fact that MLB has announced their bringing back the Fan Cave for 2012, which can only be called a headdesk move.  And another sure sign that the world is ending next year.  Yeah.

Then I started scrolling through tweets and… this was me after I saw a certain tweet.

Why the sudden change of mood (and hair color and clothes), you ask?

I heard The News about the Cubbies.  That Epstein is probably going, which is fine, but then I heard that Jed Hoyer is going too.  Too!  Also!  They’re going to be together!

You know that scene in Cyrano De Bergerac (the 1990 one, with Gérard Depardieu) where Roxanne keeps fainting over and over again because she is so overwhelmed by the letters Christian sends her?  That was me.  Minus the fainting.  Just the overwhelmed part.

Because, in case this was a little known fact, I love Epstein and Hoyer.  I think they’re both basically brilliant and the idea of them working together is already making me visualize a Giants/Cubs 2013 NLCS.  Which San Francisco would win, of course, but it would still be awesome for Chicago.  And then maybe when the Giants are all sick of winning the Cubs can break their billy-goat curse or whatever.  In any case, I am really, really looking forward to watching them over the next few years.  This should be fun.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Tally of people who gave me strange looks when I wore my antlers around town before the game yesterday?

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My Letter to the Padres

Dear San Diego Padres,

Look.  I know we’ve had our differences.  I know I hated you with something of a burning passion last year- and, okay, much of this year- and I may have made one too many cracks about Jon Daniels vs. Jed Hoyer, but deep down we’re friends, right?  I mean, I hope so.  Because I have a teeny-tiny favor to ask of you.

You are going to be inhabiting Chase Field, the home of the much-feared Diamondbacks this evening and I, well, need you to beat them.

Pretty simple, really.  Just get a few hits, throw some nice pitches and come out with the W. 

The reason I’m proposing this is that it’s really good for both of us.  My Giants get a chance to end today only 2 games back and you get a chance to be only, eh, 11 games back!  Win-win, I know.  You don’t need to tell me how smart I am.

Hey, if you want to just sweep ‘em, you could do that too!  Because, just between you and me, the Giants totally rained on my parade yesterday.  I was sniffing my fingers-which-smelled-like-lemons-due-to-my-making-of-lemon-bars and totally, 100% ready for a win and then they went and… lost.  Sometimes my optimism is hard to keep going.  Which is, of course, why I could use a little help from you.

Thankfully, the lemon bars were perfectly delicious.  So my day was not entirely ruined.

So do we have a deal, Pads?  What if I throw in a new name for your stadium?  (Because even you must admit that Petco Park is rather lame.)  I’m thinking something along the lines of Prada Park or Stadium of Marc Jacobs.  You know.

Love,

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Cole Hamels cannot walk the runway.  In case there was ever a question about that.

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Brad Pitt as Billy Beane is like Hayden Christensen as Stephen Glass + Three Pearls of Wisdom from Moneyball

And the Winter Meetings are flyin’ by…  I am loving the fact that baseball is once again at the forefront of people’s minds although, as numerous people have noted (Mychael Urban and TR Sullivan both wrote great articles about this) there seem to be a lot of weird rumors coming this week, perhaps perpetuated by bored beat writers.  No matter.  It’s very fun for me to watch general manager after general manager interviewed because I’m a player transaction geek.  I am now stalking Jed Hoyer.

But who chose the hotel?  There are so many shots of it on the MLB Network and pictures of it everywhere.  They could at least have chosen a pretty building.  To me, the happiest place on earth would not have hideous architecture. 

I would also just like to say that I think Brad Pitt as Billy Beane is ridiculous.  Billy is more charming and better looking, to boot.

billy beane brad pitt.jpg

Though I know I am obviously in the overwhelming minority of the female population when I say that.  It’s like Hayden Christensen playing Stephen Glass.  Except I like Christensen, so I don’t mind.  And Shattered Glass is an incredible movie so I can forgive it.  I’m not really sure how Moneyball will be as a movie, but I’m looking forward to it.

stephen glass.jpg

The real Stephen Glass on the left, Hayden Christensen, of wood-board Anakin Skywalker fame, on the right

So this all reminded me how much I love the book Moneyball and the three pearls of wisdom I always remember from it.

“‘Why should noise have any more effect on the hitter than the pitcher?’ says Billy, a little testily. ‘If you’re playing away, you can just pretend they are cheering for you.’

Haven’t we all wondered this?  I sure have.

“‘In the last ten years guys started covering their lips with their gloves,’ snaps Billy.  ‘I’ve never known a single lip-reader in baseball.  What, has there been a rash of lip-reading I don’t know about?’

And last but not least…

“The new pitcher, Ricardo Rincon, gets two quick outs and gives up just one run on a sacrifice fly: 11-7.  With two out and runners on first and third, Art Howe [the manager], walks out yet again.  This time he calls for right hander Jeff Tam, newly arrived from AAA, to face the right-handed Mike Sweeney, who is, at the moment, leading the American League in hitting.

“‘ Why?  [says Billy] They take all this lefty-righty crap too far.  What’s wrong with leaving Rincon in?'”

Now I’m looking at the movie’s IMDB listing and seeing that someone named Sergio Garcia is playing Jorge Posada.  This is getting weirder by the second.  I need to go back to reading that Alex Rodriguez is going to get traded for Joe Martinez.

Diamond Girl

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