Things that make me giddily excited: a. the Winter Meetings. b. Brownies. c. Big, unexpected trades. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Even Ryan Braun seemed giddily excited. Although I have a semi-irrational suspicion that his management had a knife to his back while he spoke to the press. Because Ryan being that gushy about them is just odd.
Anyway, I hope it goes well for Greinke in Milwaukee. I don’t know the team and division well enough to have an informed opinion (Brewers diehards, come to my rescue!) on whether they could really contend next year, but I obviously hope they do. I was sad to see that Jeremy Jeffress was a part of the trade, because he was the sweet guy who threw me a ball at the Brewers game last year. But I wish him all the best in KC.
And to congratulate Greinke on his trade, he gets some sunglasses. Round/heart-shaped face = square sunglasses. These are by- who else?- Prada.
Which reminded me that at Werth’s Nationals press conference on Wednesday, he debuted a decidedly better look.
Before and After
So, true to my word, I’ve fitted him up with some designer sunglasses.
This pair wouldn’t fit on this picture, but here they are, by Giorgio Armani:
They’re not too big, which would overwhelm his face, but they have soft angles to contrast his angular face. And they’re only $275. Total steal for designer sunglasses. And total steals on designer sunglasses is another thing that makes me giddily excited.
My little brother was trying to wake me up this morning and having a bit of a difficult time. So he said, “Emily, Matt Holliday was traded!” “Mmm… to who?” (It should have been “to whom”, but I was half-asleep so my grasp of the English grammatical system was slightly impaired.) “The Mets! For Johan Santana!” I sat up straight. “No way!” Yeah, no way. He wasn’t traded. But I am awake now.
So then I was eating olives and thinking about life. And baseball. And sunglasses. And I realized that although Jon Daniels is obviously a good GM (Executive of the Year, people!) he has some style issues. Namely, the sunglasses.
They are atrocious, in my humble opinion. Too small, too tight, too wannabe sporty. So I decided to find some better ones. These D&G frames are a little larger and have a hint of aviator, which is flattering to some face shapes. Since he might not want to fork down the money for D&G sunglasses, there’s this guy in the Westfield Shopping Center in San Fran who sells fake designer stuff, who I’d like to recommend. He tries to sell me a different designer every time I go there.
I was going to give Jayson Werth some sunglasses advice, in honor of his, you know, huge and basically endless contract until I remembered that no matter how good the sunglasses are you have to look good underneath. So step 1 is to cut his hair and shave off the beard. After that, I can give some advice. I’m thinking Versace.
The. Winter. Meetings. Begin. Tomorrow. Be excited. Be very excited.