In a shockingly good move for the post-Theo-Epstein Red Sox, they unloaded a lot of players on the Dodgers and then basically laughed all the way to the bank. They got James Loney, ‘cause he’s lonely and they felt badly or whatever and a nice quad of prospects as well. The Dodgers got one of the biggest busts in recent baseball memory, Carl Crawford, who also recently underwent Tommy John surgery. They got Josh Beckett, who’s not really (at all) that good and Nick Punto who’s probably extremely talented at many things, but baseball is not necessarily one of them. (I kid, I kid. All Major Leaguers are extremely talented, of course, Nick Punto included. But still). Last but not least, they got Adrian Gonzalez who’s batting .300, compared to the .254 average that Loney was sporting. It’s an upgrade, but with all the money the Dodgers are dropping – which, according the LA Times is over a quarter of a billion dollars – they could have gotten millions of tall Dark Roasts at Starbucks or hundreds of thousands of Victoria Beckham handbags or, say, some really good ballplayers. They did none of the above.
Never fear, Giants fans. The National League West did not just get significantly better. It just got significantly less coffee.
p.s. If you’re not really a coffee person, a) leave this blog now or b) imagine how much of that divine Iced Lemon Pound Cake at Starbucks they could also have gotten. I can’t seem to find the price of that online, but let’s just say they could have gotten enough to feed the entire crowd at Dodger Stadium for a hundred years or so. Especially considering the size of an average Dodger Stadium crowd. (Low blow? Yes. True blow? Yes to that too.)