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Luckily, I Was Listening to Enya When I Read the Roster News, Plus PREDICTIONS.

So I chose a kind of a weird time to go on vacation.  While some of the biggest decisions in recent Giants-fan memory were coming out, I was walking to and from the pool and kinda-sorta trying for a tan.  (No luck there.)   When I finally started catching up, I started looping my Enya and went to Twitter.  It’s probably a good thing I had the über-calming music going because, well, my jaw pretty much dropped at the initial 25 man news.  And just as I was picking it up off the floor, I read the Chris Stewart news.  I am still attempting to connect jaw to rest of head and it’s not working terribly well.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, for lack of a better way of putting it.  I did not see any of this coming, but I am happy with it, all around.  The Giants are looking pretty young and energized going into Opening Day and what else can you really ask for?  (Other than pre-steroid scandal Ryan Braun starting in left, but hey, you can’t have it all.)

I’m sad to see Chris Stewart go, because I was rather partial to him, but I am also always glad to see guys go the Yankees.  It feels like sending them to a family member’s house, rather than to a complete stranger, to use a slightly strange analogy.  That is my inner New Yorker speaking, don’t mind it.  So in many ways, I’m actually happy for Stewart and wish him safe travels with the Yankees.

Here is my happy waving GIF, because if you don’t laugh, you might cry.  Not that I cry about baseball trades.  Usually.  Let’s not talk Bengie Molina and I’ll be fine.  Don’t get between me and my catchers, people.  People being Brian Sabean.

And now!  I’m a couple hours late this year, but I’m going to do some predictions now.  I like to do them before the season kicks off, but just bear with me.  It’s not like the first few innings of a game give me any edge on the rest of you who predicted a few days ago, so!

 National League

East:  Philadelphia Phillies

Central:  St. Louis Cardinals

West:  San Francisco Giants

Wildcards:  Colorado Rockies, Cincinnati Reds

American League

East:  New York Yankees

Central:  Detroit Tigers

West:  Texas Rangers

Wildcards:   Tampa Bay Rays, Cleveland Indians

See?  No need to worry that I have an edge, prediction-wise.  I am so terrible with ‘em that the timing makes zero difference.  But now I have put them out there and can cringe over them for the next six months or so and it just wouldn’t be baseball season without that.  Have you all made predictions?  Put them (or a link to them) in the comments so we can commiserate/I can get completely jealous of your brilliance.  ‘K?  ‘K.

Happy Pappy Opening Day!

Ever-So-Slightly-Tanned Diamond Girl

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When Life Gives You Lemons of the Crystal Ball Sort…

Well, so, yes.  My crystal ball is a lemon.  My prediction that Matt Cain and the Giants would not be able to reach a deal before Opening Day was flatly wrong.

Then again, when life give you lemons, you are supposed to make lemonade.   I’d say Matt Cain’s brand-new extension with the Giants, worth 100 million+ and stretching over five years, is some pretty fantastic lemonade.  Take that, crystal ball.  The timing, of course, was also rather impeccable.  If Giants fans were not already completely amped to have the team back home, we are now completely completely amped.  I am mixed up in a mash of work/write/pack/other assorted random things and cannot make it to AT&T Park tonight, but I can feel the orange-and-black love in the air and it is wonderful.  Matt Cain deserves some pecan rolls and a big ovation.  I can get the pecan rolls out of the way right now, but the ovation may have to wait a bit.  Stay tuned.

Speaking of packing… I am roadtripping in honor of the springtime tomorrow and will be holed up in Dodger-land for Opening Day.  I appreciate your sympathy.  It’s going to be pretty horrible to be surrounded in Dodger Blue all the time, even if it is on a fabulous Malibu beach.

Also, may I just say one quick thing about Ubaldo?  I’m honestly not on either side here, because I have an irrational distaste of Tulo (not completely irrational: remember when he had Party in the USA as his walkup music?) and as much as I do like Jimenez, I think throwing at someone is just bad sportsmanship.  So it’s sort of a pick-your-poison thing for me.  But if Jimenez had to throw at Tulo for some ethical reason that I am unaware of, then I don’t get why he did it at a game when Bud Selig was in attendance.  I mean, was Selig there for the March 29th Rockies-Indians matchup?  Somehow, I doubt it.  (Rockies-Indians in that fascinating, y’all.)  And purely from an evading-justice perspective, I would have suggested to Jimenez that he suggest subtly to his manager to be put in in that game and I suspect he might have gotten a much lighter punishment.  Not that I am aiding and abetting or anything.

Sure, Indians manager Manny Acta said, “Guys do not play different if the Commissioner is at the game.  The majority of the guys didn’t even know he was there,” but I can’t say I believe that.  Who could miss the President-style motorcade and the Brewers pride, radiating all over the stadium?

I kid, I kid…

Diamond Girl

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An Open Letter to Mr. Balkin’ Bob Davidson

Me saying, Peace out! and check out my ump themed tote!

Dear Mr. Balkin’ Bob Davidson,

I’m going to be honest here.  I’d never heard of you before today.  When the broadcasters read out the umps name, they go blissfully into one of my ears.  And then out the other.

You may have a secret passion for indie bands or a strong preference for black olives over green olives.  Your favorite movie may be Jaws or maybe you’re actually a rom-com guy and you loved Bride Wars.  You may not find it the slightest bit suspiciously coincidental that movies called Horrible Bosses and Bad Teacher are coming out within a few weeks of each other.  You may even live under a rock and be unaware that the Giants became World Champions for the first time since moving to San Francisco last year (pardon me if you actually umped the World Series or something) and are desperately, (dare I say it?) tortuously trying to defend that title right now.

Whoever you are and whatever bands you like, I have two things to say to you.

a)       That is the loosest definition of a balk I have ever, ever seen.

b)      Thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.

See, today kicked off with the announcement that J-Sanch is on the disabled list with – cough, cough – bicep tendinitis- cough cough.  I am very skeptical.  I think they’re just giving themselves 15 days to figure this mess out.  The other part of the announcement was that Barry Zito was activated.  Per the earlier statement, he will be starting the second game of the double header in Chicago on Tuesday.

So this is sort of an emotional time for me.

Don’t laugh!

It really is.  I hate seeing Sanchez struggle and even more I hate doubting that he really has tremendous ability inside.  If you look up “maddening” in the dictionary, there is so a picture of him.  At the same time, I am a huge Zito fan (you can say duh if you want to) and cautiously thinking this could be The Moment for him.  A triumphant return.  A fairy tale ending to the contract saga.  Heck, a quality start.  He hasn’t pitched for the Giants since, what, April 17th?  That’s a long time.  I am sort of mulling some “Barry” cupcakes in honor of the occasion.  And crossing my fingers.  Big time.

Anyway.  That was all just to say, a win, albeit a terrifying 1-0 win, was very nice today.  ‘Preciate the help, Bill.  Er, Bob.  Whatever your name is.

We part as friends, right?

Diamond Girl

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About The AL Central (Yes, My Detroit Pride Strikes Again)

What’s that you say?  San Francisco has won two in a row, Timmy is in tip-top shape, Eli Whiteside is maybe-kinda-sorta stepping up to the plate (sorry, lame pun), they’re tied with Arizona for first place and the sun is still rising in the morning and setting in the evening?  Impossible.

Bizarrely enough, it’s true.

Timmy being good is not really surprising at all.  Vogey gets less unexpected by the five days.   Eli, I have always had a deep trust for, so while the rest of the world rocks, I am listening to Enya in peaceful serenity.

That’s why I like the Giants.  Rooting for underdogs is rewarded.  Never mind the waterfall-of-tears-inducing examples of Joey Martinez and Eugenio Velez, okay?

Anyway.  That’s all ancient history.  In reality, the Giants are now going on the road to face the Indians [correction: staying at home to face the Indians!  I was assuming the road, for some reason.], which I am scared about.  The Indians are the team who I cannot name one player from (sad?  Yes.) but who are sort of tearing up the Majors this year.  In case you need your AL Central dose (doubtful) Detroit has given them a bit of a run and they’re currently a game back in second place.  I am, of course, rooting for the Tigers because of Chrysler’s brilliant ad campaign that sparked Detroit pride in me.  I am, of course, rooting for the Tigers because of Chrysler’s brilliant ad campaign that sparked Detroit pride in me.  Weird, I know.  I’ve never been within a hundred mile radius of the city.  I am just an ad lover/sucker.

Speaking of innovative ads and by extension innovative technology?  I got the June/July issue of Fast Company today (Read it.  I mean it.  Best magazine currently on Planet Earth.) and they have an article called “Clash of the Tech Titans” about celebrities breaking onto the social media scene.  Guess who was in it?

They compare his triumphant return to Twitter to “the digital equivalent of watching a supermarket ribbon cutting.”  I agree.  Personally, you know I’m not Wilson fan, but I haven’t heard positive praise for his Twitter from even the biggest Wilson-ites.  He’s a big, popular, profitable personality and I’ve been surprised to see how little he’s utilized his Twitter account.   Bryan Srabian, the Giants Social Media director (I’m going to say it.  Is his name a joke?  I mean, really?  Way to close to Sabean Himself for comfort.)  needs to get on him!

You know what I really want to see?  Jeremy Affeldt tweeting him stuff about human trafficking in Thailand and then Brian tweeting back the clip of his appearance on George Lopez.

Okay, snarkyness over.

Have a great Thursday evening and wish me luck pedal-boating tomorrow.  If I overturn, it’ll be The Sister’s fault, right?

Diamond Girl

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Script: My Conversation with Brian Sabean

Time: The Present

Setting:  Post-apocalyptic San Francisco with red tinged sky and eerie silence, except for bats flying around.  Okay, fine.  It’s an office at AT&T Park.  I was trying just to liven things up.  Brian Sabean and Diamond Girl are sitting in the office.  Sabean is wearing a grey suit, minus jacket.  DG is wearing a sweater dress, jeggings and boots.  Her perfume is Amber by Prada and her purple eyeshadow is from MAC. 

DG:  Hello, Brian!

Sabean (looking slightly suspicious):  Hello, Diamond Girl.

DG:  You know, I’m so glad to meet you.  I’ve always been a huge fan of yours.

Sabean (Looking very suspicious):  Huh.  Funny I saw on your blog that you stopped rooting for the Giants in the World Series because you were unhappy with me.

DG:  Uh, no.  That totally didn’t happen. 

Diamond Girl subtly pulls out iPod Touch and deletes the post he is referencing.

DG:  Anyway, Sabes.

Sabean:  Brian.  Or Mr. Sabean.  Or GM Extraordinaire.   Whatever.  Just not that horrible nickname.   I can’t stan–

DG:  Okkkkaayyy.   Moving right along.  What I was trying to say is just that I think you’ve done a great job at setting up your team to repeat in 2011.

Sabean:  Who gave you this meeting?  I have better ways to spend my time than listening to fangirls tell me why my team is awesome.

DG:  I have my ways.  Of getting meetings.

The scene fades and there is a flashback of DG in a witch hat over a cauldron saying an incantation to get a meeting with Brian Sabean.  Scene flashes back.

DG:  Actually, GM Extrordinai–

Sabean:  Please.  I wasn’t being serious.  That was just an example.

DG:  Oh.  Sorry.  Okay.  Mr. Sabean.  I actually have an idea for y’all.

Sabean:   Do enlighten me.

DG:  You know how you’ve always had that sort of loser-hanger-oner-starter the past few years?

Sabean:  Like Wellemeyer or Joey.

DG:  Right.  Who do you think is going to fill that role this year?

Sabean:  We’re World Series champs, Diamond Girl.  We don’t need loser-hanger-oner-starters.

DG:  I beg to differ.  And the great part is that this interesting, talented, only slightly loser-hanger-oner-starter was just DFA’ed.

Sabean:  That’s too good to be true!

DG:  But it is true.  His name is Armando Galarraga and the Tigers DFA’ed him.  Sure, there’s a 2.5 million dollar contract there, but we got money, right?

Sabean:  Wow, Diamond Girl!  What a great idea!

Sabean turns to phone and calls Dave Dombrowski .  Within a few minutes, the deal is complete. 

Exeunt DG and Sabean.  Scene fades.

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