Tag Archives: hair

Ryan Braun = Question Mark (+Organic Oreos and Stuff)

Well.  So.  Ryan Braun.  These past few months have been a bit a roller coaster, in terms of my love for Braun.  Take a look:

And the newest addition to the bunch:

Yeah.  I am officially turning into a baseball schizophrenic, I think.  When the original positive test was reported, I was as surprised as I ever am by a positive test and that means not very surprised at all.  I’m a cynic like that, I s’pose.  But his stance on it was intriguing all the same.  There is a certain element of ‘fessing up or staying quiet and he didn’t do either.  So I sat tight and ate organic Oreos and scrolled through my Twitter feed non-obsessively, 24 hours a day.  Then when it was finally overturned and he was declared innocent yesterday, I stopped mid-oreo cookie (I eat them by breaking off the top and then eating the rest whole, in case you’re wondering) and felt decidedly suspicious.  It seems to be in everyone’s best interest, in many ways, for him to be innocent I was once again rather cynical.

But then there was MLB’s nasty statement (agree or disagree, people, it was pretty nasty) and Braun’s presser this morning.  And I’m leaning decidedly on the, He is innocent side now.

He’s awfully convincing, isn’t he?  And the process seems shady enough that while he may or may not really be innocent, there isn’t enough solid info on the other side to call him guilty.  We’ll have to see where it goes from here, but for now I am leaving that question mark at the end of my sign.  Knowing the sharp-toothed media, we’ll probably discover more about this in the coming days/weeks/months, which I’m curious to see, but I hope we can all just settle down a bit and watch baseball too.

On a lighter note, the terrible hair that was Braun’s during the 2011 postseason appears to have gone bye-bye.  This is good news indeed!

I didn’t really get the jacket, though. Why so many pockets and buttons?  Less is more, Ryan.  Less is more.

Diamond Girl

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This Makes Me Feel Vulnerable and Todd-Wellemeyer-Era-Esque

Okay, panic control time.  For both those who are panicking jubuliantly (dirty look) and those who are really panicking (that’s me).  Whether or not you are a Zito fan, doesn’t it feel disturbing for one of last year’s  starting five to be hurt?  It makes me feel vulnerable and Todd-Wellemeyer-era-esque.  I would also like to add that though I am not a superstitious person, when the majority of last offseason was spent saying “Zito is a #5 starter who never gets hurt, how bad can it be?” I felt a little like clapping a hand of the speaker’s mouth and saying, “Shhhh, anyone can get hurt.” 

The ironic thing is that the call-up of Vogelsong didn’t necessitate any roster moves, because the Giants had 39 men on their 40 man roster.  Not only do the Giants have a lot of fans this year, they have quite a lot of players.  Some (that’s me) might say too many.  I was floored to learn we were under the quota.  My feeling about the team, the past few days?

I don’t like it in here.  It’s terribly crowded.

 

I’m scared that Bochy and Sabean are going to turn mad (turn mad?) unless they do a little spring cleaning.  There are some serious diamonds and some diamonds in the rough in this organization but there’s also a fair share of fool’s gold.

Basically, I think the front office needs to be bloody, bold and resolute (having a quotes field day, here).  This doesn’t need to happen right now- it’s early-, but at some point they are going to need to get rid of some people and designate the roles of other’s.  Variables = great.  Crowded = destructive.  And right now it’s just plain crowded.  I like Ishi and Nate, but they are both Major League caliber players who just have no place on this club in the foreseeable future.  I get that they’re good to have as options/pinch hitters/alternate starters/injury fill-ins.  But in the meantime?  If they’re going to stick around, they need a role that is understood and can be fulfilled.  And is DeRosa really that super-utility man who plays every night in a different position?  I can’t tell.  Maybe it’s because of his wrist flarin’ up or maybe there’s just no room.  I think when Belt’s surprisingly made the team out of the desert he messed with the whole 2011 plan.

I’m a bit of a neat freak but the way I clean is less focused on things being clean and more on things being organized.  Likewise, Giants.  Likewise.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  This week in MLB hair.  I mean, afros are coming back this season.  But usually a little more, ahem, tamed?  And if Zito’s at all superstitious, is it too much to hope for that he would lose the James Franco ‘stache?

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Diamond Girl’s Retrospective of the 2010 Season

(Quickly… looking through the This Year in Baseball Awards and it’s so much fun to relive it all.  Armando Galarraga.  I’d forgotten about that, can you believe it?  Roy Oswalt in left.  Ichiro and a teenage girl being the ultimate Teenage Girl.  Dallas Braden’s perfect game.  So many fun moments.  Anyway.  Two quick things.  I’ll try to keep them quick.  First- I saw the Ryan Braun’s catch against the Giants on September 17th is one of the top plays.  To be honest, I’d forgotten all about that too but now I’m remembering what a fun day, a highlight of the 2010 season, it was for me.  And how perfect it was for Ryan to make that catch.  Needless to say, I held my “I Love U, Ryan Braun” sign high.  I’m also campaigning for Jon Daniels for Executive of the Year.  If any of you live in or spend time in Berkeley, you’ll know that someone named Josh Daniels was running for school board in the last election, so there were signs for him all over.  Couldn’t we, in true Bay Area sprit, recycle them and make them say, “Jon Daniels for Executive of the Year”?)

 

One week tomorrow since the Giants became World Series Champions and the 2010 season finished.  Time to do my retrospective.  This collage is my photo highlights of things I’ve written about and done relating to baseball this past season.  This collage is joined by three all-important items:  designer sunglasses, a hairbrush (heart-shaped, no less) and a baseball.

Collage2.jpg

March

Diamond Girl sees video of Zito at Spring Training talking about new socks.  She is puzzled.

Opening Day

Diamond Girl sees Zito’s socks.  She prays that she is hallucinating.

 

Later in April

Diamond Girl visits LA.  LA survives.  Barely.

May

Buster Posey sees ball and hits ball in debut.  World calls NY Times, but Diamond Girl does not.  She is getting a (non-Buster-Posey-themed) pedicure.

June

Diamond Girl gets picture of self with Barry Zito and aforementioned picture sets record for most comments on DG’s Facebook page.  80% female comments.

 

July

When the NL bullpen at the All-Star game goes from a Dodger to a Padre, Diamond Girl begins rooting for the AL.  (Some historians link this to her later switch of allegiances during the World Series.)

 

August

Brian Wilson grows beard.  Male portion of world grows beards, female portion wears fake beards.  Diamond Girl does not.  She is getting a (non-beard-themed) manicure.

September

Tim Lincecum cuts hair.  Diamond Girl calls the NY Times to give a tip on the sensational story but they don’t answer the phone. 
               
Later in September

Diamond Girl luvs u, Ryan Braun.  Ryan Braun ignores.

 

October

Diamond Girl announces that she is rooting for the Rangers in the World Series.  World attempts to call NY Times but they have blocked World’s number, due to the volume of Buster Posey and Cody Ross related calls. 

 

November

Giants win World Series.  World celebrates by setting fires and turning over police cars.  Diamond Girl celebrates by taking off nail polish, straightening hair and eating (non-baseball decorated) vanilla cupcakes.

 

Diamond Girl + World + San Francisco Giants + NY Times live happily ever after.

 

The End.

 

::cue clapping::

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And the MLB Hair Awards Go To…

The Giants walked off against the Padres on Saturday.  Very exciting.  But what were the first words out of my brother’s mouth when the team stormed out of the dugout? 

“Look at Burrell’s hair!”

Explanation needed, right?  Because earlier in the broadcast the play-by-play guys had said that Burrell keeps his hat or helmet off in the dugout because he thinks he has the best hair in Major League baseball.  ::Alarm bells go off in Diamond Girl’s head::

 
pat burrell.jpg

I couldn’t find a source on Burrell’s quote on the internet, so don’t hold me to it.  But I, of course, thought, “no way!”  So here are my MLB hair awards.

Best hair:  CJ Wilson, of the Texas Rangers

I have become a Rangers fan.  Not just ’cause of Wilson’s hair.  Bengie is there too.

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Most in Need of a Hair-Cut: Tim Lincecum, of the San Francisco Giants

Here’s the deal: Tim Lincecum has a long face.  Long face + long hair + long pants = you look long.  Which is a style, I guess, but I would at least recommend a trim, if not a serious navy cut.  I think he’d look great, like that.  He could also use shorter pants, but we’re talking hair, here, not fashion. 

Thumbnail image for timmy hair.jpg

Best Electrocuted Hair: Freddy Sanchez of the San Francisco Giants

As mentioned in my last post.  Gotta wonder how much gel he uses, because it stands up even after hours under his hat.  If he ever needs a new gel, though, I could recommend some fantastic stuff that I use from time to time, to hold curls.  I’ve tried it out to spike my brother’s hair a little and it works well for that too.

freddy sanchez.jpg

Wickedly Craziest Hair: Barry Zito of (who else?) the San Francisco Giants.

On his website bio, Zito says, “the owner of some wickedly crazy hair.”  This photo is from his website, evidently to illustrate his point. 

wicked hair.jpg

Most in Need of Growing Out Hair:  Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees

Picture is from the Eclipse premiere.  Yep, the Eclipse premiere.  Is A-Rod Team Jacob or Team Edward?  I have some issues with his sunglasses as well, but again, hair not fashion.

A-Rod.jpg

Most in Need of a Haircut and a Shave: Corey Hart of the Milwaukee Brewers

I could not, unfortunately find a picture of him sans hat or helmet, but this should give you a sense.

Corey Hart.jpg

Most in Need of a Dye-Job: Juan Uribe of the San Francisco Giants

He doesn’t just need a dye job, he needs dye job to replace this one.  Come on, why blonde hair, Oo?

uribe's blonde hair.JPG

Hair: Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants

Hair.  Not best, not weirdest.  Just hair.  The t-shirt is fantastic as well.  It’s vote for Row.  As in Rowand.  But the goatee is basically horrible.  So ’08. 

brian wilson hair.jpg

Okay, gals and guys.  Here we go.  Who do your hair awards go to?  They can be from any team and in any category; new categories are fine, as long as it’s someone who has spent time as a major or minor league player. 

X’s and O’s, friends.

Diamond Girl

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