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Retrospective on The Desperate Ballplayers of San Francisco

I finally watched the season finale of The Franchise on YouTube and I adored this moment. 

(Apologies for the mega-blurry screenshot.  You can see it here at minute 4:25.)

I didn’t adore the fact that D-Ro blew out his wrist.  It was Freddy Sanchez’s expression when he threw his helmet that I adored.  I mean, is that priceless or what?  I’ve always thought it would be terribly awkward to be in the dugout when someone goes off like that, but Freddy honestly just looks scared for his life.  Burrell’s raised-eyebrow expression is kind of hilarious too.  It makes me miss Sanchez even more than before.

Anyhow.  As they reminded us about one million times in the last three minutes of the show, it’s a wrap on it now, so I am giving you all my thoughts from the season of the show.  Are you ready?  No?  Well, here you go, anyway:

*A person is not a “story”!  The incessant talk of Ryan Vogelsong as a “story” drove me i-n-s-a-n-e.

*Barry Zito seems so sad.  The way they wrapped up his story was not inspiring or anything.  Isn’t depressing TV is bad TV?   I mean, you can watch the evening news and see that no one goes by that.  Just my humble opinion on the subject.

*Brian Wilson in obnoxious.  But then, what else is new?

*Freddy Sanchez is utterly adorable.  Matt Cain and Pablo Sandoval, too.  And Jeremy is exactly the kind of father I would have imagined him to be.

*Bruce Bochy cracks me up.  To no end.

*Those meetings with Sabes and Boch and Neukom seriously need someone to enliven them.  A stand-up comedian would work.  Or a girl with a blog with a long name and fourteen inch hair (I measured!).  That would be me.  In case you didn’t realize that.

Overall, I did enjoy the show.  But all that said, I don’t think it was the best they could have done.  I think way too much of it was clips from games and Brian Murphy narrating the season.  If they had taken full advantage of the reality TV format and delved into the clubhouse and on-the-road stuff more, instead of the families and the games, I think it could have been way better.

Remember Life of Brian in his hotel room, way back when?  That rocked. What about on the airplane?   Eating out on the road?  That’s the stuff I want to see.  More than, eh, Ryan and Nicole Vogelsong talking with a- granted, it was pretty, but still- weird backdrop of the city.

It is also worth noting that my thoughts become that much more disjointed on off-days, so I should probably go now.  Doesn’t it feel like ages since we’ve played LA?  And who else watched The Franchise and what were your thoughts?

Diamond Girl

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Some Unique First Hai– I Mean, First Half Awards

What did I take away from the 2011 All Star Game?

Justin and Jessica are having issues.  On-again-off-again is off right now.  So much for them eating tacos together, TMZ et al.  He was acting psycho.

(Note lame Fan Cave promos everywhere.)

Seriously, I was hoping he’d at least have a snappy outfit in the Bad Clothing Center of the Play aka the All Star Game, but no such luck.  His hat was nearly as terrible as that shirt.   Anyways, he’s now confirmed he’s a Dodger fan, so my Timberlake moment is over.  Flashing lights and all.

Anyway!

The game itself was kind of boring, except for Ogando and Gio pitching back to back.  That was fun.  But even when Wilson came in, the drama felt 100% manufactured.  I didn’t know who to root for, because I can’t decide how I feel about home field advantage and also because I actually liked more people on the AL squad, because the Giants don’t really play them so I have fewer negative memories of them hitting homers off us or whatever.  You know.  So I rooted for individuals and mostly just enjoyed all the players smiling at each other.  That’s so cute.

So I figure now that’s all over, I should do some mid-season awards.  Here we go:

First Half MLB Awards

Most Improved Hair: Michael Young

As previously discussed, the haircut goes a long way to making Michael look less like an evil blackmailer of Jon Daniels.  I’m liking him quite a lot right now.

Most Improved Facial Hair:  Barry Zito

I hated the ‘stache from moment 1.  The silver lining to Barry’s injury was that the superstitious baseball player that he is, he shaved it off.  And has come back lookin’ and pitchin’ better than ever.

Most Worsened Facial Hair:  Prince Fielder

This goes out to Wilson too:  beards like that make you look homeless.  Not to mention 10+ years older.  Bad idea all around.

Best GM: Theo Epstein

First everyone thought the Sox were going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Then everyone thought they were going to be a total bust.  I think we’re back to the greatest thing since sliced bread stage now.

Giant MVP: Nate Schierholtz

‘Nuff said, Giants fans.

Moment That Doug Melvin Outed Himself as a Shopaholic:  Ryan Braun’s Extension

I just can’t get it out of my head that they’re paying him through 2030.  Who knew that Doug and Rebecca Bloomwood are kindred spirits?

Best Brandon Moment: Tie between Brandon Crawford’s Homer in Debut and Brandon Belt’s Opening Day Call-Up

Our Brandons have made for some pretty great moments this year.

Worst Brandon Moment: Brandon Phillips Hit Which Resulted in Freddy Going Down

Other people’s Brandons?  Not so much.

So what are you awards and strongest memories from this 2011 first half?  Tell me, just because there’s been no real baseball for days and I am going through withdrawal.  Thanks.

Diamond Girl

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Maybe There’ll Be a Walk-Off Win Tonight. Total Shot In the Dark. And Baseball Players Shouldn’t Design Clothes. And Other Facts of Life.

So does anyone else remember the moment in the Charlie in the Chocolate Factory movie where they’re in the Great Glass Elevator and they fly over a hospital room?  Willy Wonka says, “This is the Puppet Hospital and Burn Center.  It’s… relatively new.”  And then he gives his uncomfortable little laugh.  The reactions?

I’m the Mike Teevee’s father in the equation.  Every time a Giant gets injured, I make that expression.  The, Are you kidding me, you weirdos?

Freddy is on my top 3 favorite Giants list.  I consider him a constant and a sparkplug and the kind of guy who would keep us sane during the injury insanity.  Five seconds and one Brandon Phillips hit later, he’s on the DL.

Maybe we should get the Giants their own hospital…?

Brian Sabean wasted no time in picking up a new second baseman, fueling the “this is really bad” fire.  Bill Hall is the guy, recently designated for assignment from Huston with nearly identical numbers to Pat Burrell, when he came to the Giants last year.  I went to Hall’s Wikipedia and saw the following Awards Highlights.

  • Good Guy Award- 2006
  • Michael Harrison Award (Community Service)- 2004,2006
  • Unsung Hero Award- 2005
  • Pitched a 1-2-3 inning as a utility player- 5/28/2010

Huh.  I love Good Guys.  And the Wiki piece fails to mention that he was the Brewers Team MVP in 2006. Looking at pictures of him in that Brewers uniform is acclimating me to the idea of having him in a Giants uniform.  He is reportedly available to play today in what may be a walk of win (total shot in the dark, there).

No matter what, I just hope Aubrey plays games, from now on, in head to toe armor. 

(Props to the brilliant person at www.arewestillcool.com who mocked this up.)

I also have to say something about the line of Giant-designed jerseys that came out yesterday.  I’m not sure what to say.  Except that I will not be going out to buy one.  They’re hilarious, a little ego-maniacal and I feel like this might be a good time to break out an old blog I wrote but never posted called Baseball Players Shouldn’t Design Clothes and Other Facts of Life.

I mean, really?  The font?  The faded edges of the corny image?

Diamond Girl

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And the MLB Hair Awards Go To…

The Giants walked off against the Padres on Saturday.  Very exciting.  But what were the first words out of my brother’s mouth when the team stormed out of the dugout? 

“Look at Burrell’s hair!”

Explanation needed, right?  Because earlier in the broadcast the play-by-play guys had said that Burrell keeps his hat or helmet off in the dugout because he thinks he has the best hair in Major League baseball.  ::Alarm bells go off in Diamond Girl’s head::

 
pat burrell.jpg

I couldn’t find a source on Burrell’s quote on the internet, so don’t hold me to it.  But I, of course, thought, “no way!”  So here are my MLB hair awards.

Best hair:  CJ Wilson, of the Texas Rangers

I have become a Rangers fan.  Not just ’cause of Wilson’s hair.  Bengie is there too.

Thumbnail image for cjwilson2.jpg

Most in Need of a Hair-Cut: Tim Lincecum, of the San Francisco Giants

Here’s the deal: Tim Lincecum has a long face.  Long face + long hair + long pants = you look long.  Which is a style, I guess, but I would at least recommend a trim, if not a serious navy cut.  I think he’d look great, like that.  He could also use shorter pants, but we’re talking hair, here, not fashion. 

Thumbnail image for timmy hair.jpg

Best Electrocuted Hair: Freddy Sanchez of the San Francisco Giants

As mentioned in my last post.  Gotta wonder how much gel he uses, because it stands up even after hours under his hat.  If he ever needs a new gel, though, I could recommend some fantastic stuff that I use from time to time, to hold curls.  I’ve tried it out to spike my brother’s hair a little and it works well for that too.

freddy sanchez.jpg

Wickedly Craziest Hair: Barry Zito of (who else?) the San Francisco Giants.

On his website bio, Zito says, “the owner of some wickedly crazy hair.”  This photo is from his website, evidently to illustrate his point. 

wicked hair.jpg

Most in Need of Growing Out Hair:  Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees

Picture is from the Eclipse premiere.  Yep, the Eclipse premiere.  Is A-Rod Team Jacob or Team Edward?  I have some issues with his sunglasses as well, but again, hair not fashion.

A-Rod.jpg

Most in Need of a Haircut and a Shave: Corey Hart of the Milwaukee Brewers

I could not, unfortunately find a picture of him sans hat or helmet, but this should give you a sense.

Corey Hart.jpg

Most in Need of a Dye-Job: Juan Uribe of the San Francisco Giants

He doesn’t just need a dye job, he needs dye job to replace this one.  Come on, why blonde hair, Oo?

uribe's blonde hair.JPG

Hair: Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants

Hair.  Not best, not weirdest.  Just hair.  The t-shirt is fantastic as well.  It’s vote for Row.  As in Rowand.  But the goatee is basically horrible.  So ’08. 

brian wilson hair.jpg

Okay, gals and guys.  Here we go.  Who do your hair awards go to?  They can be from any team and in any category; new categories are fine, as long as it’s someone who has spent time as a major or minor league player. 

X’s and O’s, friends.

Diamond Girl

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Are the Giants a World Series Team or Why Mark Reynolds Should Join Strikeouts for Troops

(This post written during the 3-D TV ads on MLB.com.  Trying to watch highlights from yesterday’s game.  And watching a Gcast interview where they say: “Jonathan Torres talks about upcoming games against the Cubs and the Braves.”  Was not aware his name is Jonathan.  I am, once again, confused.)

The energy is electric (like F. Sanchez’s hair is every day- take a look below) and there are a lot of reasons for that.  It’s Friday the 13th.  It’s Orange Friday.  The Padres are in town.  It’s on NBC tonight and Fox tomorrow.  Jonathan Sanchez is trying to live up to his prediction to the press.  And I am cheering “Beat SD” every few minutes.

f sanchez.jpg

I think we really can sweep the Padres and I think the Giants are going to the play-offs.  I think they’ve totally got it in them to win the division or worst-case scenario, the wild-card.  My question is this: are they a World Series team?  And if they are: are they a World Series winning team?  And that is where my doubt lies.  I don’t necessarily think the AL is literally tougher, but I don’t know… Giants v. Yankees?  Giants v. Rangers?  MadBum v. Jeter?  I don’t necessarily see us coming out on top.

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And I want you to guess why Mark Reynolds should join Strikeouts for Troops.  (Hint: He broke the record for number of strikeouts in one season and stands to break his own record this year.  Maybe Zito should approach him about a few hundred every time he strikes out?)

Diamond Girl

 

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