Tag Archives: fear the beard

Band of Misfits 2.0 Starts Now, 7 Things About VogelStrong and Our Knight in Shining Armor Beat Writer

Today has been a big day in roster moves. Despite everything Bobby Evans (VP of Baseball Operations for the Giants) said about The Other Brandon/Brandon #2- Crawford has now taken sole possession of the Brandon #1 title- not coming back up until September, the third catcher on this roster has been sent down and Belt is back up. Three’s a crowd.  [I spoke preemptively/psychically here.  H. Sanchez was sent down, today 07/20/11, but not on the day of this post, 07/19/11.]  Not a shocking move. Meanwhile, the Astros seem to be trying to stockpile their farm system- or maybe just do something, anything because they have way too much time on their hands- with mid-ish level prospects and they traded second basemen Jeff Keppinger to the Giants (going to have to figure out how to spell this guy’s name sometime!) for pitchers Henry Sosa and Jason Stoffel today. Keppinger is 30 years old and he’s played in 48 games this year, with a batting average of .307. He has the quintessential baseball player beard, but other than that I can’t tell you a whole lot about him. He seems like he could be a good acquisition, but only time will tell. Band of misfits 2.0 starts NOW!

Meanwhile, VogelStrong (yep, I’ve cracked and started calling him that corny nickname) is tearing it up.  I know I’m a little late to the party, but he has me pretty well convinced of his brilliance now.  So! 

7 Things About Vogey:

7.  For just a few days, he had enough innings to qualify for the ERA standings.  And he has the league lead at 2.02.

6.  At .258, only four active Giants have a higher batting average than him (those are Sandoval, Scheirholtz and Ross).  Sadly, he does not have nearly enough at-bats to qualify him for anything in that realm.  Which is why, if this pitching thing ever falls through, I could totally imagine him as a first basemen with power.  I mean, not that this pitching thing looks like it’s going to fall through any time soon.  Just good to have a back-up plan, you know?

5.  His birthday is coming up in three days, July 22nd.  Will there be cupcakes?  Yes, there will be.

4.  His full name is Ryan Andrew Vogelsong.  Which is basically the only differentiating factor between him and the masses of Ryans in the Majors today.

3.  He has way better facial hair/sideburns than Wilson.  So it’s no surprise that on Twitter his hashtag, #VogelStrong, is so the new #FeartheBeard. 

2.  He did, however, spur the short-lived #RibbonGate last night, until our knight in shining armor beat writer Henry Schulman shot the whole thing down.  It was a good conspiracy theory while it lasted.

1.  He’s endlessly stoic on the field and in interviews, but a quick YouTube search shows that he does like a good time.  And he sings.  No matter how terribly (honestly, I can’t really hear him), he sings, people.  My heart is melting a bit.

More Dodger Blueness tonight.  I am not at all adverse to the idea of “Hug LA”, but I’m also not at all adverse to the idea of beating them again.  I will just avert my eyes when Loney is up and remind myself that he is a rival of my team and of San Francisco.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  But I am getting better.

Diamond Girl

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Fear the Razor and the Moon Might Really Be Made Out Of Blue Cheese

Oh yeah.

Extra inning games and walk-offs tend to bother me, because I think a team should be able to win without ‘em, but that win was really, really good.  It felt like a giant, “Snap out of it!”

I mean, Aubrey’s homer made him kindof/sortof/wecansayitdid snap out of it and we can only hope the same happens for Cody.  And all the Schierholtz /Fontenot wonderfulness is the kind of thing that makes me wear my wacky grin everywhere for a few hours.  But no, they haven’t shut up about his height.  It’s okay.  As long as he’s good, I’ll take it and I’m sure he will too.

Now I’m going to make a bold statement.  You ready?  Need a refill on the popcorn?  Okay.  Get it.  Then hurry back so you can hear my bold statement.  This is it:

People do better without beards.

Cody Ross is example given.  I could go on and on about why psychologically, but physically?  I don’t think it’s rocket science.  I’ve never had a beard (duh factor there) but I imagine it would be kind of uncomfortable, not to mention take a lot of grooming time which takes away from conditioning time, not to mention puts undue stress on your wrists, hands and arms.  Just when Timmy laid off the blowdryer and his hair started looking air-dried that directly correlated to his pitching better.

I know nobody else buys that theory but I dare a beat writer to actually ask him about that.  Just like I dare someone to go take a piece of the moon and eat it and prove it’s not blue cheese, albeit old cheese with no oxygen.  I’m serious.  Okay, I’m not serious about the blue cheese.  But I’m serious about the facial hair/normal hair habits and how that impacts a player.

And… (::looks around, then whispers::) you look better without a beard too.  Fact, Brian Wilson.  Fact.

Worst case scenario?  You end up like this oompa loompa. 

So how about this year the Giants become the clean-shaven team?  Fear the, um, razor?

Diamond Girl

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In Which the Giants Sputter to Life, Zito Goes James Franco and I Express Confusion About the Importance of The Ring

It had gotten to the point where I was going to suggest some new alarm clock rings for the Giants players to get them out of their funk.  Fortunately, that won’t be necessary, for the time being, because we got a nice little W today.

There were good moments and bad moments; the primary good moment being Tim Lincecum and his fabulous right arm.  The offense also sputtered to life, minus Pat Burrell (sorry, had to get that in).  I am tentatively optimistic about the defense and I am not worried about the bullpen.  They’ll be okay.  They’ll make me panic and eat pickles and (nearly) tear my hair out, but I am quite confident in my bearded guys right now. 

Speaking of beards… today’s facial hair news is that Sergio Romo updated his beard into something even stranger and I figured out with what the inspiration- or at least doppelganger- is for Zito’s mustache.  It’s this actor who I really, really can’t stand.   His name is James Franco. You may remember his from his Academy Award hosting.  Or you may not.  He didn’t really talk.  I hope I’m wrong because otherwise I am utterly stumped as to why someone would try to look like him.

(Photos aren’t working right now, so you’re going to have to do your own sleuthing until the system gets up again.  Google “barry zito mustache” and “james franco mustache”.)

Looking ahead.  April 8th (you know.  The special day where the world celebrates the coming of yours truly.) is the home opener and there will be a lot of festivities, I’m sure.  I’m know I’m a spoilsport, but I am not hugely excited for all that.  When the playoffs and the World Series are about baseball, I love it.  Afterwards, when it becomes nostalgia and rings and TV appearances?  (Never got The Ring obsession at all.  This is not Middle Earth, right?)  Not so much.  It’s the 2011 season and there are games to be played and much to happen.  This weekend we can celebrate.  But then we need to get down to work.  It’s never too early to take first place.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I would like to get a chance to speak with whoever came up with the 3:35 start time and say a thing or two to them.  And make them sit for three hours in this wind watching Little Leaguers slaughter each other in the twilight.  I did that today.  It was semi-brutal.  They deserve to live through that too.

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Opening Day, Baby. And Opening Day Baby. And Birthday Presents. Lots of Birthday Presents.

(Disclaimer: there aren’t really lots of birthday presents in here.  Just one.  But I figured no one would click if I said there was just one.)

I am an Opening Day baby.  April 8th is the day.  The start of the regular season is right around then, which might be the best birthday present in the history of humanity on Planet Earth.  Or it might not be.  I haven’t been around that long, but I’m guessing even the cavemen would agree that it’s up there.

And yesterday I made my birthday plans.  In four words:  Fresno Grizzlies opening weekend.  I’m a big Grizzlies fan but I’ve never made it down to Fresno to see them.  2 rows from the field.  I am way, way excited.

Please don’t remind me that I have to make a presentation at 9:30 the next morning.  (Who even makes presentations at 9:30 on a Saturday?  Don’t ask me.  I have no idea.) 

I’ve been reading up on the stadium but if anyone’s been there and has some tips on food or parking, do share.  Or if you know anything about the spa treatment they claim to have.  I am slightly doubtful but cautiously excited about that.  They seem to be a million steps ahead of major league teams in terms of fan experience and promotional nights.  I am not a Twilight person (really, really not) but from what I read that was brilliant last year.  Except for the Red Cross Blood Donation stand.  That was just in poor taste.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Tim Lincecum pitched nearly six innings, one run, struck out seven and I need to go bask in the glow of the best pitching staff in the Majors.  Ciao and hasta la vista and all that.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  To those who asked what I would get Brian Wilson for his birthday, which is today?  I would go with a subtle hint.  A razor.

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Nostalgia Day: Brain Wilson Batting

It’s foggy.  And rainy.  And Cliff Lee still hasn’t signed anywhere.  So it’s the perfect day to be nostalgic.  I was looking through my New York photos from October and found this one:

Brian Batting.jpg

One of my favorite parts of baseball is when relievers- especially closers- come up to bat.  So I pulled out my iPod and took a picture of Brian batting in the NLCS, against Philly.  (Correct me if I’m misremembering and it was against Atlanta.)   It was such a fun moment and high-tension series.  In a way, I think beating Philly was more of a triumph than beating Texas.  And I think the photo’s kind of great.  The Beard + Batting Helmet.

Now that I’ve gotten the nostalgia over with, it’s time to sit back and wait for Cliffy to sign.  With the Rangers, of course.  And he will decide a six year deal is better than a nine year deal any day.  Positive affirmations, only!  

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Who else is kind of diggin’ the sunglasses?

Diamond Girl           

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