Tag Archives: espn

Eli Whiteside is Ringo Starr and Other Facts of Life

As luck would have it, my EPSN Magazine subscription (it was real paper and everything… the “dead tree version”, they call it) ended last month.  Which means I’m missing out on their music-themed issue that’s coming out this month.  Now let’s just forget the fact that the whole concept’s a little shaky and they’re a sports magazine doing a music issue, which is just weird.  Aside from that!

I haven’t seen the magazine, so all I really know about it is that they recreate some album covers that they call iconic with professional athletes.  As I said.  Shaky concept.  Also, Katy Perry is nowhere near iconic and neither is Beyoncé.  Isn’t there like a minimum number of years – say, ten – before we can label stuff iconic?  No?  Well, there should be.

Another thing that should be mentioned about ESPN Magazine: they tend to forget that baseball exists.  So there’s just one photo with baseball players and it’s Justin Upton, Evan Longoria, Brandon Phillips, Giancario Stanton and Shane Victorino recreating Freedom of Choice, by Devo.

Devo1 Devo2

I feel sort of cheated, to be honest.  We (and by we, I mean MLB and by extension MLB fans) didn’t get Bob Dylan or Nirvana of MJ… hell, I would have settled for Katy Perry.

I took matters into my own hands.

Ramones - original Ramones (2)

Larry Baer got in on the fun.

Rubber Soul Rubber Soul3

As did, uh, Aaron Rowand.

The Madcap Laughs1The Madcap Laughs (2)

And lastly Barry Zito as everyone’s favorite crazy diamond.

Take that, ESPN Magazine.

Diamond Girl

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What the Giants and Haikus and the French Police Have in Common

(There were shadows.)

There was Barry Zito being lights-out.

(There were shadows.)

There was the Giants offense actually, you know, hitting.

(There were shadows.)

There were the Dodgers being all, Wtvr, take the division.

(There were shadows.)

There were the Giants being all, Sure, we’ll take it.

5.5 games up, in first place.  Magic number is 17.  The End.

(And yeah, there were shadows.)

I tried to find some significance to the number 17 to regale you all with, but there wasn’t all that much.  All I did discover, courtesy of Wikipedia, is that it’s the number to call for the police in France and the total number of syllables in a haiku, so I guess those are fun(ish) facts.  Or not really.  The Giants need to hurry up and pare down that magic number so I can find all sorts of fantastically weird facts.  We’re heading to Coors Field, aka the Chamber of Horrors, tonight, so weirdness is sure to abound.

(Oh yeah, still shadows.)

But seriously, I have a question: why does ESPN schedule West Coast games so they start at 5 and then spend the entire broadcast talking about the weird start time and the shadows?  That would be like me over-baking my cupcakes every time I make them and then going, Look, look!  So interesting!  They’re burnt!  That would just be weird.  If I had a dollar for every time they mentioned the shadows on the broadcast, I could severely cut into the US deficit or maybe buy a Burberry trench-coat.

Diamond Girl

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In Case You Ever Wondered What An Eugenio Velez in a Toy Shop Is Like…

Baseball Sundays are just the best, aren’t they?  The Giants won very tidily in Arizona today, by a final of 7-3 and got loads of hits in the process.  14, to be precise.  Is that the best or is that the best?  After such an up-and-down couple of weeks, a game that just goes down nicely is an anomaly and a welcome one, at that.  Gregor Blanco and Brett Pill were the stars of the show and Barry Zito squeezed out a quality start, too.  It is games like these that make you think – or, at least, hope – that the squad can work things out.  It may not be neat, but it may work.  They are back at .500 with 17 wins and 17 losses and they are six games out from the first place Dodgers.  Not terribly shabby for May 13th.  I think we may make it out alive, after all.

I am watching the Rangers (hopefully) rip through the Angels on ESPN, so I have to get going, but I would like to leave you with this two Mother’s Day stories.  This first one comes from the Giants official blog about former Giant Eugenio Velez and it’s a smile-worthy story.

“Pura Eugenia Vancamper named her son after herself, and they always had a particularly close bond. She knew early on that baseball had a hold on him. When she let her three children choose a toy one day at a store, her older son chose a truck, her daughter a doll and Eugenio, still just a toddler, went straight for the plastic bat and ball. She tried to talk him into a tricycle but he insisted on the bat and ball.”

This story, about Texas’ Alexi Ogando, is also wonderfully heart-warming.

“It took five years for that second chance to come, but it did come, and there came a day last July when Fefa Ogando was not cooking in San Pedro de Macoris. She was riding in a truck through Phoenix streets that were lined with baseball fans. Her son was on the back of the truck during the Red Carpet Parade on his way to his first All-Star Game at Chase Field, and the fans were shouting ‘Ogando! Ogando!’

Fefa Ogando turned to Rangers broadcaster Eleno Ornelas and said, ‘They know my son’s name! I can’t believe it. Thank you so much for talking me into coming here!’”

Lastly, of course, our very own Gregor Blanco dedicated his fantastic game to his mother, who passed away six years ago.  Bittersweet, but mostly sweet.  A very lovely day around Major League baseball.  Totally talking about the mother stories, but did I also mention that Nelson Cruz just hit a grand-slam in Texas?  Yes.  A lovely day.

Diamond Girl

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