Tag Archives: diamondbacks

A Consolatory Beanie and Some Conspiracy Theories

Hello, people, and apologies for my absence!  I’ve had a bit of a crazy few days/been quietly enjoying the fact that we have meaningless September baseball/Green Day has a new album out and so there’s that/my silly sister is moving halfway across the world and making me all weepy.

Meaningless September baseball is surprisingly fun, though – especially when the team knocks my sparkly flip-flops off and makes it seem like it is completely meaningful.  It’s a bit like Spring Training, except with cinnamon gingerbread lattes and a guaranteed playoff spot.  They just finished up their last homestand, taking two out of three from the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but that’s a different story) and are hitting San Diego and LA one last time to wrap up the season.

Matt Cain did everything and then some, Barry Zito did everything and then some and Tim Lincecum kind of floundered and made us all feel badly for criticizing him because, guys, he missed the celebration when they clinched and looked altogether like a sad puppy.

I mean, he always kind of looks like a sad puppy.  But now more than ever.  I want to hand him a consolatory beanie and say, It’s meaningless September baseball!  You’ll be fine!  (Or you won’t be.  And you’ll develop a massive chip on your shoulder about it, a la Barry, and then be fantastic a few years later so, lo, everything I said was true and you will be fine even if it’s not necessarily all that soon.)

The Giants were a sight to see travelling yesterday evening, because it was rookie hazing day.

One question, though.  A few people said they hazed the rookies and sophomores, because they didn’t do it last year.  Is that true?  Because you know how I love a good conspiracy theory.  And this one is too good to pass up.  Maybe… they were possessed by magnetic-drawn robots that love metal, but mysteriously hate dress-up.  Maybe… they had someone on the team who had a fear of clowns (common phobia!) and for a reason to be named later, that was the only costume they could have done.  Or maybe Sabes was in a nasty mood and rained on their parade.  Which isn’t all that good a conspiracy theory at all.

Or maybe it was reported on at the time and I just have the memory of a goldfish?   Yes.  That seems likely.

Diamond Girl


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In Which I Break Out My Train Wreck Photo

I feel like my blog posts have just become a glorified forum to project the current magic number in big, flashing letters.

Yes, I just took five minutes to make that GIF.  You’re welcome, guys.   [Apparently, these GIFs don’t display right unless you enlarge them.  They’re magnificent, so I do encourage you to enlarge them.]

Anyway, today wasn’t actually all that glorious a day in Giants-land.  They lost 10-2 to the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but we’ll just forget about that) and the game was slowly but surely a complete train wreck.

It did give me an opportunity to use my train wreck photo, though, which I don’t think I’ve used all year.  So that’s good.

Aren’t those games the worst?  You actually think they’re salvageable at first and then as time goes by, you restock on the chocolate chips and nail polish as you realize that no, really, this one is not salvageable.  Then you (if you are me, which you aren’t, but whatever) curl up by your radio and kind of let Jon and Dave’s voices lull you into a sleep where you dream of the Giants winning and the Dodgers, of course, losing.

If you’re very lucky, later that evening, that last part becomes a reality.  The Dodgers once again proved their affinity for handing the Giants the division with a nice card on lilac-scented paper and finished up an extra-inning lose to the Cardinals.  So that was the good news.  Magic number shrunk once more.

Yes, I’m using that again.  I figure with all the time I spent on it, I might as well get some mileage out of it.

Diamond Girl

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The Opposite of Bikram Yoga Is…

Henry Schulman said the Giants clubhouse was quiet last night, but the atmosphere with the fans?  The eventual loss in the eleventh inning couldn’t crush that.  This Giants team suddenly looks stronger in a thousand and one ways and the fight they put up was really something to watch.  Let me be the millionth person to say that something special is happening in San Francisco right now and not in that they are having incredibly, painfully long games.  More in that they look good.  Really good.  Arizona out-bullpenned them last night and the fact that it went down to extra innings points to the fact that they made other mistakes and missed other opportunities as well, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are still 4.5 ahead of the Dodgers as we get deeper into September and they are looking up to the challenge.

Another explanation for why the Giants clubhouse was quiet last night:  all the players were sleeping.

Hunter Pence:  I’m going to ride my scooter home now and—

Marco Scutaro and Random Beat Writer turn to see why he stopped talking and see he’s fallen asleep by his locker.  They drape a Giants snuggie (leftover from the giveaway/donated a few days later by a fan who realized he didn’t actually want it at all) over him and leave him to spend the night there.  Alternately, one of them offers him a ride home.  The impractical side of a scooter, see.

We have one more game against the Diamondbacks tonight and then an off day (unconfirmed: Hunter Pence is going to spend entire off-day sleeping) and then the Dodgers are coming to town for what’s sure to be a huge series.  The great part of this huge series, though, is that no matter what, Los Angeles cannot take a division lead.  We’re safe(ish).

Diamond Girl

p.s.  A bunch of crazy people did yoga this morning on the field at AT&T Park.  What do you call the opposite of Bikram Yoga?  Freezing-cold-why-did-I-sign-up-for-this yoga?  Because that’s what they were doing.

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My Cupcake Calendar Knows Andy Pettitte, Kinda

Since there never seems to be enough time for anything on a Friday, I’m going to put allthebaseballnewsyoucouldeverwant into a 10 piece rundown.  ‘K?  K.

10.  The Giants lost the final game against Houston yesterday, but seriously, who’s thinking about that?  I, for one, am still coasting on the perfect game and ten runs and all of that fabulousness.  Zito gets out of jail free, in terms of blog ripping.

9.  Birthday bonanza!  Andy Pettitte is turning 40 today and that reminded me that I’ve been meaning to talk about him.  Do you see what he’s doing over in New York?  He’s rocking a 2.81 ERA over six starts and showing no signs of slowing.  Ah-mazing.  Can I please be like that when I’m 40?

8.  Also having a birthday today is our very own Tim Lincecum.  Say what you will about him at this moment, I got to thinking about when I was at the stadium on his birthday two years ago and we all sang Happy Birthday to him as he signed autographs.  It’s a rather nice memory.  I think we should all have peace on earth and goodwill to all, especially Tiny Tim.  And I think I have a good feeling about his start tomorrow in Seattle provided, of course, that my sunglasses are present.

7.  It is also Neil Patrick Harris’s birthday, for whatever it’s worth.  Actually, this is what it’s worth.  It seems appropriate for my blog, because I think it all the time after I publish a post.

6.  Aubrey Huff apparently injured his knee jumping over the railing to celebrate da perfect game.  Ow.  CSNBayArea reports he’s headed to the DL and we’re going to be seeing Justin Christian in his place.  The plot thickens.

5.  My cupcake calendar (Do. Not. Laugh.) has had birthday cupcakes for the past few days and today, as well.  It knows me!  It’s psychic!  It knows Timmy and Andy and Neily!  Maybe!  Probably not, but still!

4.  Madison Bumgarner is facing King Felix on Sunday and I cannot wait.  It promises to be a great pitching matchup/total blowout, just because we all thought it would be a great pitching matchup.

3.  For once, I am totally rooting for the Diamondbacks as they take on the Angels who are a nerve-inducing 3.0 back from Texas.  Go Diamondbacks.  I can’t bring myself to include an exclamation point, but seriously, beat them Angels.  (Scoreboard watching?  Heck yes.)

2.  I think I’ve failed to talk about the now infamous “Clown question, bro,” incident, so I am going to do right that right now.  Bryce Harper has got some serious ‘tude.  I alternate between loving it and loathing it.  His use of “bro” which needs to die now is kind of edging me onto the loathing it side, but the deadpan delivery is helping with the love.

1.  Oh, did you hear?  Matt Cain pitched a perfect game.  Yeah.

Diamond Girl


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Three Game Fives! Plus Gloomy, Apocalypse-Is-Coming Stares

Guess what, people?  (If you guessed that Apple is in mourning you would be right, but wrong.  Right because it’s true, but wrong because that’s not at all what I meant.)  There’ll be three game fives this year for only the third time in MLB history (others were, in case you’re a geek and you’re wondering, 1981 and 2001)!  Yankees/Tigers will fight it out tonight and tomorrow all the National League stuff will be decided.

Yep, I’m seriously considering heating up my flatiron for the occasion.  All this drama necessitates some stress-relief and what better stress relief than roasting my hair within an inch of its life?   I think that came out sounding weirder than I meant for it to.

Anyhow, stress aside, I’m really totally stoked about all these games.  Around the league, and this may just be me, this season felt a bit lackluster so it figures and is awesome that these playoffs have been nothing short of thrilling.  Just good baseball all around, you know?  It’s been tons of fun to check the scores as the games progress, because I really genuinely have no idea which way they’ll all go.

I’ve also really been surprised by the fight the Diamondbacks have put up.   I mean, I still think the Brewers are going to take this, hands down (I know, jinx alert!) but I had this belief during the regular season that Arizona was a world-class fluke and would be crushed out of the playoffs at the first chance anyone got but apparently that was irrational.  I will say now with a gloomy, apocalypse-is-coming stare that I was wrong and they really have something going.  And (repeats the gloomy stare) that it’s pretty great that they overcame all the last place predictions and took the division.

All that said, BrewCrew f-o-r-e-v-e-r!  And I’m glad Texas clinched earlier.  Because as much as stress gives me good hair, four game fives would have been a little much.  Thank you, Rangers.  For preserving what is left of my sanity.  You rock.  And so do the playoffs.

Diamond Girl

p.s. In other news, Timmy likes to trash nice apartments and then deny he did it.  Huh.

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