Tag Archives: closers

When Life Throws You a Curveball, Pretend It’s a Zito Curveball.

It’s not like I’ve just gotten any huge, swooping curveballs.  Just a few sneaky ones.  So I was repeating that title in my head when I started sifting through seven hours of tweets yesterday afternoon and started seeing things about Brian Wilson.  Not good things.  Bad things.  Potentially terrible things.  In three words: strained left oblique.

A variety of things went through my head:

Charlie Sheen curse!

Bruce Bochy is nervous?  ::stomach sinks::

What is an oblique anyway?

It wouldn’t be baseball without adversity.

It’s true.  Pretend they’re Barry Zito curveballs or your fill-in-the-blank-with-your-favorite-curveball-throwing-pitcher-of-choice. 

I kind of think the Giants should trade for Feliz (panic move, I know.  This is just going through options in worst-case-scenario.) because last time the Giants traded with the Rangers it turned our pretty darn good for San Fran.  And I’m honestly a little scared for Feliz.  Does Nolan Ryan have a knife to his back, or something?  His sudden enthusiasm about starting is so creepy that I have stopped reading the stories about it.  Maybe Ryan or JD made a really convincing Powerpoint illustrating all the things he could buy with a starter’s salary?  Is there even such a thing as a convincing Powerpoint?  I’ll get back to you about that one.

Anyhow.  The reality is that the Giants have been killing it this Spring Training largely minus Wilson.  The regular season is different, obviously, and they really need that closer, but there are a million other strong links in the team (well, 24, actually).  Remember why they were so successful last year?  No superstars.  People who stepped up when you least expect it.

Now get that blood pressure down, eat some coffee ice cream (I just had some.  Homemade.  Be jealous.) and get a good night’s sleep.  Sweet dreams, y’all.

Diamond Girl

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The Diamond Girl Award

Most of you probably know that I love closers.  They are players who work under extreme pressure and throw upwards of 100 mph.  They are the one and only on their team.  They are glorified and vilified in the same week.  They are generally the weirdest off the field, as well.  What’s not to love?

So here’s my question: why is there no award for closers?  We have the Cy Young Award (for starting pitchers), Silver Slugger (for hitters), Golden Glove (for fielders), various awards for relievers… but nothing for closers.  (Incidentally- why are the sluggers silver and the gloves gold?)  Is that offensive or what?  (If you know of an award and I am incorrect, please do tell me.)

Here’s my proposal: The Diamond Girl Award.  It would be an annual award to honor the best closer in the game- one in the AL, one in the NL.  It could be voted on, the same way as the Cy Young award or maybe it would be fan-voted, like the All-Stars. We can work out the details later.

Award logo.jpg

 The big difference between this award and others in baseball is that the announcement would be much more exciting.  In every other industry there’s a ceremony with an, “And the ______ goes to…” so why don’t we have that in baseball?  I can just picture it.  We’d  have, say, 10 nominees from each league and it there would be tons of suspense.  It would be nationally televised and the ratings would be huge.  And I would get to present the awards.  At least for the first year.

So who would you nominate to get the award this year?  The first commenter to guess who I would give it to wins a virtual hug. 

Diamond Girl

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