Tag Archives: clinching

Why Johnny Depp Should Be a PA Announcer and the Rangers Should Have Sprayed Orange Juice

I adore Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the 2005 version.  I can’t find the clip online, but some of you probably know the scene when the children first come to the factory when you can hear Willy Wonka’s voice (Johnny Depp) saying “Please enter.”, “Close the gates.”  The voiceover is fantastic.  So, you know, when Renel retires he could take over?  We couldn’t pay him as much as Tim Burton, maybe, but we could give him some nice homemade brownies.  Mmmmm… homemade brownies… I volunteer to make them.


willy wonka.jpg

Brownie.JPG 

Picture of brownies is my own, not a stock photo.  Photo of Willy Wonka is not mine.  ::Cue “duhs”::

More importantly, perhaps… the Rangers clinched in Oakland on Saturday, which made me very happy.  I didn’t end up going to any of the game but 2011 is filled with promise.  I will see them.  So I know CJ Wilson doesn’t drink and he said he was going to wear swim goggles and not drink any of it and Josh Hamilton, a recovering alcoholic, skipped the party altogether.  In this situation, why not create a new idea so that you can include all your players?

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This photo is obviously taken by me, with my exclusive pass to the Yankees clubhouse.  Once again, cue the duhs.

I honestly hate the champagne parties at all.  They are so contrived and commercialized at this point, that I don’t really think they’re fun or exciting.  The locker rooms are all taped off for easy clean-up and the cameras are all set up.  I am still hoping for a team to come out and show their unique player and coach personalities and use orange juice and make a real mess.  Why orange juice?  It’s healthy, not tremendously sticky and, I mean, no one’s in rehab for orange juice addiction.  It’s also unexpected.  The Rangers have battled bankruptcy, have a low payroll, young GM… why not embrace that and show respect and appreciation for your players who don’t drink alcohol and use orange juice? 

orange juic.jpg

Um, no.  Not taken by me.  I have better ways to waste my time than photographing orange juice bottles.

Since the Rangers didn’t do it, the Giants could.  Or do you think the league would make them die half the juice black?

Diamond Girl

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