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Why I Think AJ Preller is in Mongolia and Baby Giraffe Refers to a Viral Video of a Yawning Giraffe

I decided it was time to escape from the torture and I was missing my Texans terribly, so I snuck off to the O.Co Coliseum this morning and spent the day there.

It all started off very well, blow-out style, with the A’s walking in a run in the first and I was perfectly prepared to sit back and eat french fries that, yes, tasted a bit like gasoline. Then things got a li’l tense. Make that very tense. Eventually, the Rangers untied it in top of the 9th and after an iffy bottom, I went home with a heart rate slightly elevated and a 7-6 victory. They won and the Angels lost, which is the bottom line, but couldn’t they have just done it 10-0 or something, for this long-suffering San Fran’er?

I do have to the give the Rangers credit, though. They were the sweetest away team I’ve ever seen and I got an autograph from the former Best Hair in the MLB King, CJ Wilson (he might get that crown back, because now I’ve seen the hair up close) and their adorable pitching coach, Mike Maddux, the owner of a rather impressive mustache. Josh Hamilton also gave a bat away to a kid (the word is that he does that at every game) and signed for nearly 20 minutes, which is not exactly easy with the A’s dugouts. He was totally personable and nice to everyone. Love that guy.

The Maddux ‘Stache

I was secretly sneaking glances around, trying to spot AJ Preller (Rangers Senior Director, Player Personnel and former frat brother of Jon Daniels) but I figure he was probably on the Mongolian planes or something scouting around for awesome talent, not hanging in Oakland so I didn’t spot him. Better luck next time, when the appeal of throat singing has worn off, maybe.

Anyhow, I got home and saw a lot of things about a “Baby Giraffe”. At first I thought it was a viral video of a baby giraffe yawning or something (not irrational of me, there are loads) and then I realized that it actually had to do with one Brandon Belt. He, eh, hit two home runs. I don’t need to explain what that all means. Belt has been mismanaged this year no question, I think, but what’s done is done. I want to see way more out of him like that. The Giants are still very much in contention and if Brandon can help out with that, fabulous. I, for one, or maybe one million, am very glad he’s here. And glad to have a taken a series. (Taken a series! How foreign and fantastic that feels to type.)

And I finally got to test out a line I’ve waited a long time for. When the A’s mascot walked by, I was all, “Can somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?” Just, you know, channeling my inner Princess Leia.

Diamond Girl

p.s. When Alexi Ogando walked by, I nearly fainted. And when Mike Adams walked by? My mind screamed, “Giant killer!”. But my face just smiled politely, in case you were wondering.

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This Post Includes a Photo of a Real Live Passenger Pigeon from 1898

The year 1914 was filled with really important events, like World War I and Charlie Chaplin’s first big screen appearance, peppered with other- only arguably important- things like the creation of Mother’s Day and the last known passenger pigeon dying at the Cincinnati Zoo.  She was named Martha.

That’s Martha.  Or her cousin.  Or something.

Per Wikipedia, this all is.  I don’t, you know, remember that.

That year, the Phillies had a bit of dismal season, finishing at 74-80, 20.5 games out of first place.  The Boston Braves (Boston Braves?  What?  So. Weird.) won it all at 94-59, for whatever it’s worth.

Them Phills also had a streak of 19 solo home runs, one that no one was ever able to match, though I’m sure some teams have tried (lookin’ at you, Pirates and your 17 straight losing seasons).

That is, until tonight!  Pablo Sandoval did the honors with a first inning solo shot.  Now I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, seeing as I really do like it when he hits homers, but that is really, really, genuinely terrible.  I don’t think I’m overreacting here.  When I said snoozing with RISP in the past, I think I should have said dead with RISP.  Runners in any position!  Even if they’re on first base, that counts!  You know that, right, Giants?  Oh, you didn’t.   No wonder.  All is forgiven, then.  Get to it next game.  Please.  And thank you. 

And if you want to make some basically classless and totally snarky comments about the Marlins stadium, I actually wouldn’t mind that.  I mean, seems to be working for CJ. 

Diamond Girl

p.s.  It very literally (okay, not literally literally, but you know what I mean) breaks my heart to hear Cain saying “it was my fault”.  Six innings, two runs isn’t brilliance or anything but with any sort of offense that’s a totally fine outing.

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Why The Giants Are More Different Than Anyone Says and The Scoop on Ted Williams Ghost

Who’s sitting on a bed with a heating pad on their neck and Pandora looping in their ears?  If you guessed Barry Zito, you were incorrect.  That’s me.  With un-Zito- sympathetic-neck-problems.   Which doesn’t mean I’m unsympathetic to Zito. It just means my neck problems are unrelated.  In case you were wondering.

So.  Yes We Cain (shouldn’t that have a comma, incidentally?  “Yes, We Cain/Can.”  If I ever get to ask Obama a question, that’ll be it.)  Trust Matt to straighten things out.  Yesterday’s game felt nice and right and all the pieces made sense.

I can’t put my finger, quite, on what was wrong the past two days, but I kind of think the team wasn’t understanding each other.  The “we’re the same team, other than Uribe and Renteria” only takes into account who they lost.  Not who they gained.  While the team clicked very well down the stretch, they haven’t played 162 games together.  And as much of a bullseye as there is on the Giants back, it’s still three days into the season.  Everything went down so fast last year.  How can the team fare minus adrenaline?  I think very well.  But will it take a little time to work itself out?  Yes.  Maybe yesterday we got a glimpse of them working.

And the wacky quote of the week ?  CJ may have lost the best hair crown but he can still crack me up.

“I mean, it’s pretty much the same lineup they had last year with two new additions, right?  It’s not like all of a sudden they have the ghost of Ted Williams playing for them or something.”

Which does beg the question wouldn’t it be a big deal if the ghost of Ted Williams was playing for them, whether or not it was all of a sudden?  Even if he appeared gradually, limb by limb?

Diamond Girl

p.s.   I want to publicly apologize to Jon Daniels and the rest of the Rangers front office for my skepticism about the whole Beltre signing.  Grand slam, baby.

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The Best Hair Crown Just Went Bye-Bye


The first round of Spring Training cuts happened today and though I am a Hinshaw fan, I have to admit I wasn’t sad for this to happen.  It means we’re a little closer to this whole strange thing that is Spring Training being over.

Spring Training freaks me out because if the team does well, I have this, The teams that do well in Spring Training don’t do well in the real season feeling.  And if the team does badly, it’s all What’s wrong with them?!  They’re going to be terrible!  I am excited about how good the Giants have been so far, but I’m a little tentative.  Not getting my hopes up.  Much.

cj hair.jpg

CJ Wilson’s new(ish) Twitter profile picture.

You know how in Alice in Wonderland, after the final battle, the crown goes flying from the Red Queen’s head to the White Queen’s and then the Cheshire Cat appears (you can see it at 6:45 here)?  I need someone with evaporating skills to help me with that. 

So.  I need a new Best Hair King.  And I’m taking votes on these three candidates.

zito hair1.jpg
gio gonzalez.jpgneftali.jpg

1.  Barry Zito, San Francisco Giants

2.  Gio Gonzalez, Oakland A’s

3.  Neftali Feliz, Texas Rangers (who, for the record, has the best curls ever)

Takin’ votes down there in the comments.  If you vote, I will send you some Aussie hairspray.  Maybe.  Potentially.  Perhaps.

Diamond Girl

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5 Reasons A Team Needs to Sign Michael $chlact, Even Minus Dollar Sign

When it comes to Rangers vs. Giants, my loyalties are a little complicated.  This, you know about me.

I am not exactly looking forward to today’s game.  Who do I root for?  Then again, my two teams in one place?  My ears and eyes on one game?  That’s magic.

Now seems like a fitting time to make a player pitch (no pun intended.  Seriously.)  I don’t think any General Managers read this blog but hey, you never know.  And if any do stumble across it, it can’t hurt to give them a little wake-up call about the missing link on their team.  Two words:

Michael Schlact.

Why you (the GM’s) might ask?

5 Reasons You Should Sign Him:

5.  Picture him standing next to me.  Just picture it.  That’s 6″7 versus 5″1.

4.  He’d provide your team with a giant positive PR hurricane.  He runs Inspirational Quotes/Friendly Ball Player Reponses 101 over on Twitter.

3.  He’s also the funniest guy since the creation of micro-blogging.  “You know why KE$HA is cool? Cause she has a dollar sign in her name. That’s what I need. Michael $chlact.”

2.  It is so 2000’s to judge a pitcher on his shoulder/elbow surgery.  It’s hip and cool and 2011 to realize plenty of them come back from that.  (Being hip and cool is obviously a convincing factor for General Managers.)

1.  He is 110% committed to any team who will give him a chance.  Even if you don’t know it yet, you need him around.  And while you’re at it, follow him on Twitter at @Michael_Schlact.

By the way… I just realized that Opening Day is this month.  Wow.   Wow referring to the fact that it is and that I just noticed it.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  There are so many things that crack me up about CJ Wilson’s blog header.  Particularly the “2008, a whole new year” and the “how to pitch to Guerrero thing”.  I guess he does need to pitch to Guerrero now.  But he didn’t last year.  I am a teen and all, but baseball moves too fast for my brain.

CJ Wilson blog header.PNG

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