Tag Archives: chris ray

13 Things Brian Sabean Needs to Do Before the Giants Hit Scottsdale and Why Surprise, AZ Needs an Exclamation Point

I’m heading down to the City of Angels, otherwise known as Dodgertown, USA tomorrow to visit family.  I am really not a Southern California person (Berkeley born and raised, baby!) and the whole I’m-a-Giants-fan-they’re-Dodgers-fans thing makes it all the more, you know, complicated.  Every time I pledge to be really mellow and not offensive when talking about baseball.  And I am really, really going to try not to rub in the Giants performance in 2010 versus the Dodgers performance last year.  We are World Champions.  We are above that.  Wish me luck.

I think we will share common joy, though, because we are on the home stretch of the offseason.  I am so excited.  Everyone seems to think the teams are pretty much done for the offseason.  I think the Giants front office- hello, Brian Sabean- have a few things left to do.  And since 13 is both an unlucky number (tradition) and a lucky number (Cody Ross), 13 it is.

13.  Institute a new facial hair rule.  ‘Nuff said.

12.  Make sure Jonathan Sanchez is out of his (very overpriced) leather jacket and ready to roll.  You know.  Pitch.

11.  Plant trees in honor of Chris Ray and Todd Wellemeyer, who are now Mariners and Cubs respectively.  Or they may be members of AAA affiliates of the aforementioned teams.  A moment of silence would do if the tree thing takes too long.

10.  Watch ALCS videos to get adequately afraid of the Rangers, in preparation for their March faceoff.  The Giants may have skewed impressions of the Rangers from what went down in the World Series, so a little refreshment of the memory may be in order.

9.  Buy a drumming table for the clubhouse.  Lincecum, in “A Day in the Life of Tim Lincecum”, says “Zito would have a day with this”.  And it would make a great diversion to break up possible monotony of the Desperate Ballplayers of San Fran. 

8.  Clear up for me whether or not those World Series rings have poison in them.  In all corny historical movies/books, nobility (yes, the Giants are nobility.  Duh.) have poison in their fancy rings.  I have a (irrational?  Yes.) suspicion that the Giants’ rings do as well.  You can call me a conspiracy theorist now, if you want.

7.  Have a long talk with your marketing department before you release the 2011 ad campaigns.  A. because it needs to live up to It’s Time and B. because the whole “It’s September Inside” was kind of embarrassing.  It was September outside, too.

6.  Don’t put Belt on the roster out of camp.  Bring him up on May 29nd.  Then pretend it was a coincidence.  (Don’t I just give the best advice in the world?)

5.  Go to each and every one of those stalls that sells Emerald Nuts and tell them that it’s false advertising to have a big sign that says, “Roasted Walnuts” when all you ever have in stock is roasted pecans.  I have nothing against pecans, but that is just way misleading.

4.  Orange lipstick was big on Spring 2011 runways.  It’s the new, modern take on classic red.  Alert female Giants fans.

3.  Go to the New York Giants and demand giants.com.  They are not world champions.  We are.  They can be nygiants.com.

2.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Everything’s going to be okay. 

1.  Take a little vacation.  Get a spa treatment.  The season is going to be long.  Appreciate the offseason while it’s here.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  And one assignment for JD and the Rangers:  since your spring training camp is in Surprise, AZ, would you do me a huge favor and convince the mayor there to add an exclamation point at the end?  That would be just awesome.  SURPRISE!, AZ.

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This is for you, Eugenio (and a little bit for you, Executive of the Year) and Why Dave Groeschner is Due for a Mohawk

So this post was going to be for Eugenio Velez and then I read that Jon Daniels was named Executive of the Year by Baseball America and so I had to mention that first and foremost.  Congratulations to Jon and the whole Rangers organization.  Very much deserved.  It’s Time, and all that.

Anyway.  I miss Eugenio already.  Which is weird, because he hardly played last year, but I still miss him, you know, being there.  I know there is still the possibility that the Giants will sign him to a minor league contract, but I doubt that will happen.  At first I was very sad to hear they had non-tendered him but I’m trying to look at a bright side.  Hopefully he will find an organization that does need and want him now and has room for him in the majors.  I think if someone puts some confidence in him and gives him a real chance he will be a strong MLBer.  (Don’t breathe a word about his bunt attempts.  Seriously.  Don’t.)  And I do have a few teams on my wish list of who signs him.  Ahem, Doug Melvin or Jon Daniels?  Y’all should sign Eugenio Velez.  To see him in Brewer Blue or Ranger Red would make me very happy. 

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Meanwhile the Giants did tender Andres Torres, Jonathan Sanchez, Cody Ross, Javier Lopez, Ramon Ramirez and Santiago Casilla.  Ray and Velez are the two who were not tendered.  Both Burrell and Fontenot were signed to one year, one million dollar deals.  It looks to me (and probably to everyone else on the face of this beautiful planet) like Sabean is trying to re-sign everyone and keep the idea the same.  The problem I see with that, as I’ve written about before, is they’re not misfits anymore.  They’re players who won the World Series and are earning some nice money now.  Will it work again? 

Then again, there might be some big moves still ahead for the Giants.  Sabean tends to surprise us like that.  So you know when we’ll find out?  Yeah, you guessed it.  The Winter Meetings.  Three days.  I am still giddily excited.  Stay tuned.

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And it’s Day 8 and the snowflake earrings are still in my ears, in case you were wondering. 

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Dave Groeschner is due for a mohawk.  In the Inside the Clbhouse:  Hitters from January, he tells Pablo that if they go to the World Series, he’ll get one.  They went to the World Series.  Heck, they won the World Series.  He totally needs to get one now.

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The Rangers Sprayed Ginger Ale, Why I love Jon Daniels and on Wearing White After Labor Day

I love these guys.  Scratch that.  I adore these guys.  These guys being the Texas Rangers and I’m adoring them right now because they reportedly celebrated their win over the Rays with ginger ale rather than the traditional alcohol, so that their star player, Hamilton could participate.  How amazingly great is that?  I give myself some credit because I suggested orange juice as an alternative a few weeks ago but maybe they aren’t that into healthy natural juice.  No matter.  I am proud to be a Rangers fan because they took matters into their own hands and did something different.

 

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Don’t really know if I need to repeat this, but no, I do not waste my time by photographing cans of ginger ale.

 

I’m also giving JD some credit, because I have this irrational suspicion this he was involved with the idea.  JD being Jon Daniels, the General Manager of the Rangers.  I’m not usually really into GMs, they seem so distant, but I am a huge Daniels fan.  To start with, when he was hired, he was the youngest GM in the history of MLB which I love.  I firmly live by the principle that age only matter if you’re cheese and so I think the way he’s built what is something of an underdog club into one that can beat the holder of the best record in the AL is fantastic.  And he traded Chris Ray for Bengie.  Who do you think got the better end of that deal?  He signed Vladdy when everyone thought he was done.  He stole Cliff Lee from under the Yankees nose.  And from what I’ve seen, he’s a snappy dresser.  And the Dreamy Team General Manager.

 

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Didn’t take this picture.  But if someone wants to invite me to his next press conference, feel free to. 

 

So I am obviously hoping, hoping, hoping that we get a Rangers vs. Giants World Series, but I’d be okay with seeing the sweet, if over-loaded as a team, guys from the Bronx as well.  I’m hoping it’s not the Phillies, but I’m okay with that too.  All four teams left play good ball so either way I’m pumped.  But you know the scary thing I realized while going to sleep last night?  No matter what, the Giants have a maximum of 14 games left.  (Yeah, that’s what I think about while I go to sleep.  No wonder I dream about it.)  We are seriously nearing the end.  Down to a wire is an understatement.  I miss Zito starts.

                                                                                

Lastly.  Some of you may have noticed that I have a new profile picture.  The reason is that yesterday somebody clued me into the fact that it is no longer summer and while Important People in the fashion industry have recently stated that it’s okay to wear white after Labor Day (I hardly ever wear white anyway, so it’s a non-issue for me, but that didn’t stop me from clicking on the article about it), it’s still unacceptable to wear sandals in mid-October.  Even more unacceptable to have them in ones profile picture.  Lesson learned.  New profile picture needed.  Instead of photographing my new Madden boots, I’m going face this time.  And the new picture (newly my profile picture, it’s from July) makes me nostalgic for the 2010 season and reminds me why I like people who give me tickets to sit behind the dugout at a game.  You know the way to my heart.  (That is, Madden shoes or nice seats at a baseball game.)

 

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Diamond Girl

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Why I No Longer Fear the Beard(s) + New Facial Hair Styles for the ‘Pen

Who honestly thought we would win last night?  This has nothing to do with my personal like or dislike of Matt Cain- in fact, I only dislike him because of the obvious fact that he combs his hair when it’s dry, huge no-no for curly haired folks.  This has to do with the fact that it would be way too easy to win in three.  Or in four.  I think this one’s going five games.  The 2010 Giants don’t do things the easy way and we should all know that by now.  I’m guilty, too.  I thought they’d win last night.  I always hold the lingering hope they’ll change their ways, but who changes their ways in the postseason?  (The correct answer is: no one.  A+ for all of you, who answered right.)

But what I really want to talk about is why I no longer Fear the Beard(s).  To be quite honest, I never Feared them and always thought they were basically ugly but they worked, so how could I complain?  And since Brian Wilson will probably never be a male model (who knows, high fashion is attracted to interesting or odd faces) it’s more important for him to pitch well.  Same with the rest of the bullpen.  But I think they took it too far.  Game 1 of the postseason, the bullpen was not needed.  Game 2, it was.  And it failed, majorly.  I think the bullpen is doomed for the postseason.  I’m not saying this because they had one day where they were whacked out, because that obviously doesn’t denote failure forever, I’m saying it because I think the beards have done their job.  In the past tense.  And it’s time to do something new.  Like dye their eyebrows orange.  That was just an example, not a suggestion.

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Can we call it “The Brian Wilson Beard”, like “The Mona Lisa Smile”?

Moreover, the beards are really not well suited to their wearers.  I did a little research on what face shapes a few of the bullpen guys have as well as beard shapes and here’s what I came up with.

Brian Wilson- Oval

An oval face is very forgiving, beard-wise, but Wilson’s complexion is not.  The darkness of color, instead of being menacing, ends up looking strange.  It washes out his face, particularly his skin and eyes.  In addition, his beard is at the “not-sure” point.  Not short enough to be “I forgot my razor” and not quite long enough to be “I have a beard”.  If nothing else, the color should go.

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Oval face.

Sergio Romo- Round

Romo’s round face is overwhelmed by volume on the sides.  It’s important to draw the focus to the center with spiky hair and volume and length near the inside of the beard rather than on the corners of the jaw.

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Round face.

Jeremy Affeldt- Heart shaped

Affeldt has a heart-shaped face, which is rarer among men and therefore more tricky.  His goatee emphasizes his chin, which is already prominent (spoken- okay, written- by a heart-shaped face girl) and he, in contrast to Romo, needs to draw the emphasis outwards in a fuller beard.


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Heart shaped  

What do y’all think?  Do you Fear the Beard(s)?  Think it’s time to shave them off?  Ideas for a new tradition?

X’s and O’s,

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Since we’re, you know, talking about facial hair.  And sports.  Not that I’m recommending this mustache for the ‘pen, or anything.

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