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A Leaked Invitation to the “Just Chill Out™ Dinner” for Ryan Braun and MLB Execs

It’s not as exciting as a Royal Wedding invitation.  But nearly.  Very nearly.

Who:  Ryan Braun and the MLB executives who so vehemently disagree with the ruling on his PED case

When:  A nice warm evening whenever

Where:  A soothing dining room

What:  This intimate dinner is designed to help everyone meet cordially and discuss their issues in a non-threatening environment.  Presented by Just Chill Out, Inc.™

All the details:  When faced with an issue like this, famous people and organizations tend to do their cat-fighting through the media and cryptic statements.  While these do serve to get out the angst you’re proabably feeling inside you, it doesn’ t ultimately help with the underlying issues.  Our dinners present an opportunity to really tresh out your feelings in a confidential, face-to-face setting.

With a menu including a wide array of delicious foods that are specially designed to help mellow you out, this dinner is truly the whole package.  Starting with a hearty bowl of chicken soup for the disillusioned ballplayer soul and ending on a high note with a dark chocolate lava cake that is sure to leave everyone smiling, tensions will let up before you can blink an eyelash.  We also serve warm milk with every course which does the calming job fast.

Group therapy has never been so fun!

Call 1-800-CHIL-OUT (hey, Chill Out was too many digits) if you have any questions at all and get ready to solve your problems productively and delectably.

Terms and conditions apply.  Void where prohibited, where there are no cool celebrities and/or if you do not like chocolate lava cake.  Just Chill Out, Inc.™ reserves the right to flee the country at any time if you have a food fight with your enemy and trash the premises.  We do not cover medical bills if you get food poisoning after a Just Chill Out, Inc.™ dinner nor can we guarantee results of any kind.  BYO disillusioned ballplayers.

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