Tag Archives: bullpen

Diamonds! Piles of Gold! Armani Suits! Swiss Watches! Hawaii Vacations!

Dear Bullpen,

Look.  As much as I don’t like you, Wilson, I don’t like being under .500 even more.  I didn’t want you to blow that.  And as much as I like you, Affeldt, I like being over .500 more.  Okay, that’s not true.  I care more about people than baseball games, but right this second I am pretty darn put off by you guys.  I am of the opinion that there is no excuse for losing in extra innings at home.  You have that unique and perfect advantage of walking off and it was your responsibility to keep this in the bag.

It was too good to be true that Sanchez was at all passable after being on IVs with dehydration from the flu yesterday and the game was actually somewhat encouraging, offense-wise.  Still, you are here (::points to the ground::) and you really, really need to be here (::points to the ceiling::).  Edlefsen, Kroon, heck, Joey?  Where are you guys? 

Maybe you need a little encouragement.  Here goes.  I have some really awesome rewards for you (Diamonds!  Piles of gold!  Armani suits!  Swiss watches!  Hawaii Vacations!) and I’ll do my best infomercial imitation voice when I give ‘em to you, but there is one little catch aside from the fact that you’ll go bankrupt from the taxes, we’ll send you spam for this and four more lifetimes, the diamonds are fake and we’re flying you luggage class.  Other than that.  You have to pitch well.  You can’t walk people.  And you really can’t let the ball go from your hand to over the fence in a space of, oh, 20 seconds.  That is too big a change in too short a time for the health of anyone’s heart.

I get that you’re trying.  Really, I do.  If the incitement of the prizes doesn’t help, I can also recommend  inspirational music and shaving off the beards.  We’ve barely cracked the surface of my advice cauldron.  Giving advice is right up there with walking on the beach in a storm and eating brownies in my life.  But I’d rather if you straightened this out on your own.

We’re moving on to Pittsburg/DC/New York, all of whom are in the near/at/under .500 club.  With us.  Gulp.  A bunny (me) somewhere in the heartland is crying.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Read this gem of a news piece.  Just read it.

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The Bullpen Drank Too Many Espressos and The Dodgers Will No Longer Be Paying People Six Figures to Channel Positive Energy

Let’s be real: winning this series in Colorado is better than anyone had expected, me included.  10-2 hurts, but finishing the roadtrip 4-2 makes it a little better.  Today’s game was also somewhat overshadowed by Sandoval’s injury, the moment when we thought Buster was injured and, of course, Brandon Belt’s birthday present.  He’s heading to Chuck E. Cheese Park (am I the only one who calls it that?  For those of you who don’t know, it’s actually called Chuckchansi Park.).  I’m surprised and not entirely thrilled.  I guess that experiment is over?  But that begs the question, why did that experiment happen at all?

And the Dodgers news.  Selig wised up and intervened in a situation that has really spun out of control.  I mean, I was all for the mystical healer/scientist and the positive energy thing.  You think they would pay me six figures to do that?  I bet I would make a great guru, even if I’m not much of a scientist and I am way closer than Russia.

 

But I think it’s time for the McCourts to find a nice hole to crawl into and hang out with rabbits in waistcoats.  Or something.  I wish them all the best, but there are only 30 clubs in Major League Baseball and there are a lot of people who could make the Dodgers- who aren’t a small market team, or anything- succeed to some extent.  It just isn’t fair to the city of Los Angeles and their Uggs and their beachballs and their hopefully fake tans.  Time for some Selig magic.  Why have I spent so much of this season being nice to the Dodgers?  I am too softhearted for my own fandom good.

Back to the Giants.  Though they only scored two runs today, the first inning run struck again.  I love first inning runs/leads before we even take the mound almost as much as I hate blown saves so that made me happy.  Cain didn’t have a whole lot today and the bullpen was, ahem, shaky.  Tired.  Like they either missed their morning coffee or drank too many espressos.  Can’t decide which.

 

I am actually feeling awfully confident now, which is weird after such a blowout loss.  The Braves are under .500 plus the boys in orange and black are coming back to drizzly San Fran so I think all will be right in the world.  As I said, I am huge into positive energy. 

Now if you’ll excuse me… there are Little League games to be attended and my silver and gold bangles are hitting the computer every time I type so if I don’t stop writing soon there may be irrevocable damage.  Ruined laptops are just the price you pay to look good, right?

Diamond Girl

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The Magic Lasted and the 2010 World Series Anthem

The magic totally lasted.  Congratulations to the darling, if bad-haired, 2010 World Champions, the San Francisco Giants! 

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Javier Lopez was quoted as saying “now I can shave!” and I am crossing my fingers that Brian Wilson will follow suit.  I will be much more enthusiastic rooting for my NL team next year if the beards disappear.  I also want to thank everyone who’s read and commented this year.  It’s been my first year blogging about baseball and using MLBlogs and what a fun time it’s been.  Hugs to you all and I’ll try to share some pictures of holiday desserts throughout the off-season to keep us all warm as we wait for next spring.  I’m planning to re-hash the 2010 season and then blog sporadically through the off-season.  Sporadically may turn into every day if something important and Barry Zito-related happens.  You have been warned.

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That’s right, fear is just the beginning.

Anyway.  Bad timing to stop rooting for the Giants much?  I was sad to see the series end in five and sad to see the Rangers lose, but I’m also happy for the Giants.  Happiness is not usually expressed by crying through the ninth inning, but I’m honestly just a little sad for the 2010 season to be over.  It’s been a long and weird and wonderful year in and out of baseball and I’m so glad I’ve had a chance to get to know the Rangers better.  Still, it’s fitting for the Giants to come out on top.  They’re weird and wonderful and this was their year.  Not Time quite yet.

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But can it be Time next year?  That was the greatest marketing slogan since “This changes everything.  Again.”  Actually, I think that iPhone 4 slogan came after “It’s Time” was coined, so my sentence is chronologically incorrect.  In any case, since I’m sure there have been a lot of people quoting and linking to both versions (the original and Ashkon’s) of Don’t Stop Believin’, I set out to find a theme song for the 2010 Rangers.  Yes, I know they lost but they still deserve a song.  And no, I did not record my own version.  So I found “When It’s Time” (so subtle, the title) which is obviously not perfectly fitted to the Rangers, but it feels like the team and this whole World Series to me.  Let’s just make the song the 2010 World Series anthem.

Dear Rangers and Giants,

It’s time to tell you something.  I love you.


 

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Diamond Girl

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30 Reasons I, Usually a Giants Fan, am Rooting for the Rangers in the World Series

I am confirming the rumors circulated by TMZ for the past few days.  I am indeed rooting for the Rangers in the World Series.  Normally, they’re my AL team and the Giants are my NL team and there’s not a problem, but since they are now matched up, I’ve had to choose.  And while I have loyalties with both, I’ve realized I am really rooting for the Rangers.  Because my orange and black co-conspirators may have a hard time understanding why, I’ve come up with 30 reasons. 

 

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30.  Elvis Andrus has a hair related superstition going, but his hair still looks good.

29.  “It’s Time” is easier and quicker to say than “It’s Magic Inside”.

28.  In contrast to Halloween colors, no one will think I’m celebrating a holiday if I wear blue and red.

27.  I like saying y’all.

:: Diamond Girl thinks, Did I really commit to writing 30 of these?  Is it too late to go and edit the title to 20 or better yet, 15?::

26.  CJ Wilson is the best dressed MLB player and he has the best hair in MLB to boot.

25.  Ron Washington gets so into it and he gives good postgame interviews.

24.  Fans of other teams who are taking sides are all siding with the Giants and you know me, I dig the underdog.

23.  Bengie is in Arlington.  I love Bengie, duh, I love the Rangers.

24.  And okay, yes, J.D. has something to do with it too.

23.  Their closer does not have hideous facial hair.

22.  And for that matter, neither does their bullpen.

21.  And Ian Kinsler has a nice haircut.

20.  But my choices are not as influenced by hair as I may be leading you to believe.

19.  Because I love Nolan Ryan too.  And he has hardly any hair at all.  So there.  ::Diamond Girl nods proudly to herself.::

18.  I hate the term “good backstory” being used about baseball players, but if anyone has one, Josh Hamilton does.  And it ain’t rodeo clown related.

17.  And yes, I have moments where I feel like a traitor.  And yes, it has something to do with the betrayed look my family has taken to giving me.  (Kidding.  They are all very sweet about it.  And my father and sister are rooting for the Rangers too.)

16.  And okay, yes, J.D. has something to do with it too.

15.  The name, as I have stated in previous posts, makes me think of Aragorn and by extension, Lord of the Rings.  I will never root against anyone or anything that makes me think of Aragorn and by extension, Lord of the Rings.

14.  Neftali Feliz is a beautiful name.  I like names that are fun to say and pretty to write.  But that does not make me an un-serious fan.

13.  Everything is a first in Arlington right now.  How awesome and incredible is that to watch?  It’s not like they’re facing the Yankees (yes, I know that’s impossible since they’re both in the AL, I’m just using the example) but the Giants were in a World Series just eight years ago.  Seems like nothing compared to what them Texans have gone through.

12.  They’re a gorgeously strong team.  Coming out of the weak AL West, where they would have only needed to be a few games over .500 to make the playoffs, they beat the Rays and the Yanks which is no small feat.

11.  It can never be said too many times:  the antlers rule.

10.  And so does the claw.  New easiest way to make a San Franciscan angry is to give them the claw.

9.  And okay, yes, J.D. has something to do with it too.

8.  The giant smiles on Josh Hamilton’s face when the team is doing well should be enough to convert anyone.

7.  And who can root against Vladdy?  (Answer:  No one.)

6.  Because they sprayed ginger ale on Hamilton and CJ.  I love that.  I adore that.  That joins the list of Things that Rule.

5.  The Rangers are in the spotlight.  Can’t ignore something like that, now can we?

4.  Boy gets drafted.  Nobody likes boy.  Boy goes to Japanese league.  Everyone likes boy.  Boy goes to Texas Rangers and pitches incredibly.  Boy goes to World Series.  Boy is named Colby Lewis. 

3.  Formerly bankrupt people always come out on top.  Kind of.  Sort of.  Well, in this case.  They have almost come out on top.

2.  And okay, yes, J.D. has something to do with it too.

1.  ‘Cause It’s Time.  And y’all can’t argue with that.

 

 

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Who is now a Ranger fan?

Diamond Girl

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Why I No Longer Fear the Beard(s) + New Facial Hair Styles for the ‘Pen

Who honestly thought we would win last night?  This has nothing to do with my personal like or dislike of Matt Cain- in fact, I only dislike him because of the obvious fact that he combs his hair when it’s dry, huge no-no for curly haired folks.  This has to do with the fact that it would be way too easy to win in three.  Or in four.  I think this one’s going five games.  The 2010 Giants don’t do things the easy way and we should all know that by now.  I’m guilty, too.  I thought they’d win last night.  I always hold the lingering hope they’ll change their ways, but who changes their ways in the postseason?  (The correct answer is: no one.  A+ for all of you, who answered right.)

But what I really want to talk about is why I no longer Fear the Beard(s).  To be quite honest, I never Feared them and always thought they were basically ugly but they worked, so how could I complain?  And since Brian Wilson will probably never be a male model (who knows, high fashion is attracted to interesting or odd faces) it’s more important for him to pitch well.  Same with the rest of the bullpen.  But I think they took it too far.  Game 1 of the postseason, the bullpen was not needed.  Game 2, it was.  And it failed, majorly.  I think the bullpen is doomed for the postseason.  I’m not saying this because they had one day where they were whacked out, because that obviously doesn’t denote failure forever, I’m saying it because I think the beards have done their job.  In the past tense.  And it’s time to do something new.  Like dye their eyebrows orange.  That was just an example, not a suggestion.

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Can we call it “The Brian Wilson Beard”, like “The Mona Lisa Smile”?

Moreover, the beards are really not well suited to their wearers.  I did a little research on what face shapes a few of the bullpen guys have as well as beard shapes and here’s what I came up with.

Brian Wilson- Oval

An oval face is very forgiving, beard-wise, but Wilson’s complexion is not.  The darkness of color, instead of being menacing, ends up looking strange.  It washes out his face, particularly his skin and eyes.  In addition, his beard is at the “not-sure” point.  Not short enough to be “I forgot my razor” and not quite long enough to be “I have a beard”.  If nothing else, the color should go.

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Oval face.

Sergio Romo- Round

Romo’s round face is overwhelmed by volume on the sides.  It’s important to draw the focus to the center with spiky hair and volume and length near the inside of the beard rather than on the corners of the jaw.

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Round face.

Jeremy Affeldt- Heart shaped

Affeldt has a heart-shaped face, which is rarer among men and therefore more tricky.  His goatee emphasizes his chin, which is already prominent (spoken- okay, written- by a heart-shaped face girl) and he, in contrast to Romo, needs to draw the emphasis outwards in a fuller beard.


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Heart shaped  

What do y’all think?  Do you Fear the Beard(s)?  Think it’s time to shave them off?  Ideas for a new tradition?

X’s and O’s,

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Since we’re, you know, talking about facial hair.  And sports.  Not that I’m recommending this mustache for the ‘pen, or anything.

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