Tag Archives: bruce bochy

5 Things You Probably Don’t Have to Worry About Right this Minute

Hello, people!  It’s been a while, apparently.  April basically slipped away from me, but it’s a new month now and I’m back(ish).  So yeah, I spent the better part of last month doing important things like eating M&Ms and looking at pictures of cats with sunglasses and also writing a book, which wasn’t as important, but I did do that.  Before that, I was actually trying to write a book that revolved partially around baseball but all the characters were turning out eerily like Buster Posey, so I sort of put that on hold for the time being.

Anyhow, baseball.  5 Things You Probably Don’t Have to Worry About Right this Minute.

5.  Tim Lincecum.  I think I’ve actually heard a few people say Happy Lincecum Day lately, which might point to the direction he seems to be heading.  He’s not back in form, necessarily, but he’s getting there.

4.  Matt Cain… who is decidedly not in form, but give it a little while you silly impatient people.  Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that.

3.  Jeremy Affeldt who’s coming back from the DL soon hopefully back in old Jeremy Affeldt form and hopefully with a large staff of minions to make sure that he doesn’t do anything other than walk on and off the field.  Affeldt obviously once taught humans how to use fire and getting injured all the time is the baseball gods answer to the Greek gods making Prometheus get his liver eaten out daily.  Not entirely sure which punishment is worse.

2. Bruce Bochy’s Temper.  Things got a little heated a lot of times in Arizona these past few days between Bochy and the umpires but I mean, wouldn’t you act that way if you had to hang out in Arizona for an extended period of time (more than, oh, half an hour)?

1.  Actually anything to do with the Giants?  After a claw-eyes-out-worthy rough patch there they finished April with a record of 15-12 and seem to be playing like they won’t make us cry all season, so stop worrying and start like enjoying life.

One thing worth worrying about might be that Brandon Belt has only ever been to two concerts in his life, both by the same band.  People who give out free things to celebrities, you might want to get on that.  (The Stones are coming to town!  Or, you know, Joshua Radin, if that’s more his thing.)

Diamond Girl

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Throwing Peanuts and John Bowker and Stuff

I’m one of those annoying people who has a word quota for every day and once I’ve reached it, I pretty much can’t squeeze out any more (written) words.  Books do tend to steal all your words, so this is going to have to be brief.  Blame the endless streetlight descriptions.  I have a serious and slightly problematic affinity for long streetlight descriptions.  They pop up in pretty much everything I’ve ever written.

But I digress…

Now that the division’s all clinched and all the regulars are resting up in favor of lineups that feature Justin Christian and John Bowker – oh, wait, are we out of the John Bowker era now? – there are just a few questions left to answer, before the playoffs start.  One of them is the Melky question.  The MCM (Melky Cabrera mess, in case you’ve forgotten) persists.  Sergio Romo went on the radio yesterday and basically said he doesn’t see any reason for Melky not to be on the playoff roster, once he becomes eligible, and then today Bochy made some typically cryptic Bochy comments that seemed to suggest precisely the opposite.  Decoded, he said nowaynohow Melky will on the playoff roster.

Way to throw the peanut gallery a bone, guys!  By the peanut gallery I mean bloggers like yours truly.  And by a bone I mean something to talk about other than the funny lineups.

As I see it, Melky absolutely won’t make the roster.  And I think that’s as it should be.  For every win the Giants got with him on the team in the playoffs, there would be whisperings and there would be what-ifs, from both us Giants fans and from opposing teams, as well.  Certainly, there are what-ifs if he doesn’t make the roster as well, because, face it, the guy is really good, but San Francisco made the push that got them into the playoffs after his suspension.  This team, minus Melky, deserves the playoff run.

::throws peanuts::

Okay.  No more words left.  This is the end.

Diamond Girl

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Why I Am Now Fabricating Giant-Related Disasters

It is now time to exhale and laugh a little at ourselves for the mass hysteria that has ruled the roost for the past few days.  Well, maybe not completely exhale just yet.  We are only one game removed from all of that, but what a game it was.  A 2-1 victory in Los Angles, dealing Clayton Kershaw his first at-home loss in over a year and playing respectable defense at last, too.  There was a bit of clutch hitting and a lot of good pitching.  Overall, very encouraging and very calming.  Leastways, I felt calmed.

We did not leave unscathed, of course, seeing as Pagan got some sort of a nasty cramp in the eighth, but that was just to be expected, right?  No pain, no gain, as my brother reports they preach in Little League.  (And you wonder why I didn’t play Little League, guys.  Positive mantras and I tend to, er, clash.)  Hopefully, this wasn’t that big a pain, though.  Bochy says Pagan will be back in a day or two and he was planning to give him a rest today, anyhow.

This feels weird to write, really.  There are no horrors to describe or disastrous turns to narrate.  I swear, I am this close to inventing a storyline about Ryan Vogelsong’s freak injury as he was combing his hair with a silver comb given to him by a suspicious-looking witch in a cottage in the middle of the forest.   The witch was probably jealous, you know, about his amazing good looks and pitching and stuff so she gave him aforementioned poisoned comb.

I mean, do you see the spike in the hair there?  I know it’s mostly gel, but a comb has got to involved somewhere too.

See?  Now I feel like a Giants blogger again.  It’s Disaster Inside and all that.

In all seriousness, though, I am stoked for tonight’s game.  I think this is going to continue going swimmingly (hopefullyhopefully) and soon I will become accustomed to It’s Magic Inside and all that.  In the purely non-Magic-Johnson sense of the phrase.

Diamond Girl

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6 Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version

I admit it: the title was just an excuse to link to a scene from one of my favorite movies in recent history.  It has Christopher Lee’s voice and Danny Elfman’s music and Helena Bonham Carter with a massive head, need I really say more?

It’s also rather inspirational, as one of the YouTube commenters remarks in a rare moment of lucidity.  Commenters on YouTube tend to be a little bit, er, off their heads, to just continue with the Alice-in-Wonderland-ness, but I completely agree with this one.  I mean, if Alice can slay the jabberwocky, then the Giants can beat the Phillies, right?  Piece of cake, people.  Seriously.  The Phillies are not ten times their size and they don’t have Christopher Lee’s voice (important?  Yes.) and they don’t have those huge, spiky wings, either.  They seem like fuzzy teddy bears, by comparison.  And the Giants just proved that last night, with a 4-2 victory to even up the series.  The last game is tonight and Pat Burrell is not throwing out the first pitch again, so it’s sure to get off to a better start.  (That was my last Pat Burrell snark for a while.  Promise.  Maybe.)

Anyhow, there really was a point to that title, believe it or not, beyond talking about Tim Burton’s fabulousness.  I am going to make a list now, ‘k?  ‘K.  You know how I love making lists.  Here we go.  Six Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version.

6.  Brian Wilson who?  Santiago Casilla is clean-shaven and he can pitch.  The pitching part is a plus.  The clean-shaven thing is so very important I cannot even put it into words.   No one ever said my priorities were completely straight.

5.  Madison Bumgarner may be the first person in recent memory to actually sign a nice-sized contract and then do well.  Okay, maybe not the first.  But it’s rare, y’all and I was pretty impressed.  Maybe it has something to do with his, eh, interesting background.  If you have a while to spare between watching cat videos on YouTube or whatever and reading my blog, you should probably check this article out.

4.  Pat Burrell was there and the Giants won!   Shocking.  (I had my fingers virtually crossed up when I promised that up there.  Accept my sincere-ish apologies.)

3.  I missed Bruce Bochy’s birthday.  Facebook is supposed to remind me about these things!  Again, apologies.  Happy Belated, Bruce’s Head.  That is, Bruce.

2.  Novel #4, which is a magical realism story about death, has all sorts of strange baseball lingo mixed in.  Because I write while I listen to games, when I’m in a time crunch.  It’s an… interesting effect, to say the least.

1.  The Giants can slay the… I mean, beat the, Phillies.  This blog does not endorse slaying.  Usually.  Except in circumstances of people who vote on the Academy Awards and always vote wrong.  You are welcome to slay them.  Just try not to mention that I was involved.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  In the category of non-impossible things, the Rangers beat the Red Sox 18-3 at Fenway.  My smile stretches from San Francisco to Boston and back again. 

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10 Reasons I Am Excited Right About Now (Warning: April Fool Contained Inside)

I went out today and actually sat in the sunshine and had a picnic.  It’s been raining here in the Bay Area for what feels like forever, so it was pretty amazing.  I finished “Boomerang: Travels in the New Third World” by Michael Lewis (which is absolutely, fabulously good and you should read it right now, even if your eyes cross at the word “subprime”) and then I caught the end of the ballgame and felt rather wonderful.  I love many things about Spring Training, but I also cannot wait for the real thing to begin and for all the final roster cuts and all that jazz.  I also can’t wait for the Giants to be back in San Francisco.  You are free to call me crazy, but let me finish first.  I do not generally consider myself a psychic, but when the Giants are in town?  I can totally feel the presence.   Now I also believe that eating these Vitamin C gummy bears actually keeps me from getting sick, so I am probably not a source.  But it’s all psychological, so who can really argue with me?

Anyhow.  This year, rather than repeating last year’s Goodbye Spring Training – which you can read here, if you are so inclined – I am going to infuse a little bit of optimism into the (theoretical) mix.  Ready?  Okay.  This is 10 Reasons I Am Excited Right About Now.  The “now” I refer to is 5:55pm on the day the Giants played their last Spring Training game of 2012.  You’re welcome, historians 5000 years hence.

10.  Zito’s new mechanics!  Yeah.  April Fool’s.  I got you there, right?  Right?

9.  All of the various injured players re-proving themselves.  Along with the young guys who just crack the team, the injured players have got to be some of the most fascinating storylines of the year.  Lookin’ at you, Buster Posey.

8.  Speaking of which, Buster Posey.  Can I (for once) speak for the whole of the Giants fanbase, when I say we are tremendously, tremendously stoked?

7.  The Bruce Bochy show.  KNBR listeners, you know of what I speak.  Non-KNBR listeners, why the heck don’t you listen?

6.  Interleague Play.  I still object on some sort of deep, moral grounds, Bud Selig, but since the Giants get the AL West this year, I am borderline mollified for the time being.  Aside from the obvious they-are-playing-the-Rangers, I’m interested to see the matchup with the resident Interesting Team of the year, the Angels.  Who also have quite a nice dining area which serves basically cold hamburgers, for whatever it’s worth.

5.  The draft.  It’s still many months off, but the beginning of the season does signal how it’s getting closer and pretty soon, we’ll be treated to the draft breakdowns in the media and all that fun stuff.  July, it’s Emily calling, can you please come a wee bit sooner?

4.  The Hobbit movie.  Well, I am.

3.  Never using the Despicable Me balloon scene photos againBecause the Giants are not going to disappoint me that way this year.  Positive affirmations are everything, people.

2.  More animal themed hats at AT&T Park!  And that right there was my second April Fool’s.  Aside from the obvious fashion-faux-pas-ness of them (it’s hard, you know, to adequately match an outfit to a giraffe-print hat), there’s the issue of short people like yours truly not really at all being able to see over them.  Consideration is key, People Who Attend AT&T Park.  Because we’re getting back… together and all that.

1.  Since I don’t want to be lame and say the smell of fresh grass… I’ll just say cinnamon roasted walnuts.  Not the ones they sell at the park, mind you, because I am boycotting those because of labor issues with Diamond Foods, their manufacturer (not to be confused with Diamond Girl), but the other brands you can buy at the grocery story.  They are dee-lish-us.  And I am excited.  Excited excited.  

Diamond Girl

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