Tag Archives: brian wilson

I Come to a Slightly Obvious Realization and the Verdict on Hobo-Chic Is In

Why did I not blog this weekend?

a)      I knew there was some possibility I would alienate my Giants fan readers with my Brauny doting and Nyjer Morgan apologist-ness. 

b)      Well, I was sort of sleeping most of time.

c)       I was watching girls-night movies like 10 Things I Hate About You and Winter’s Bone (you figure out which one of those doesn’t make sense in the sentence).

d)      Because we had a lovely 13 hour power outage.  During which I decided I was going to open a rival company because PG&E goes out way too much and they have terrible costumer service to boot but then realized I don’t really exactly know what they do, so I might need to do some research before I pursue this line of work.


This series reminded me why I do really love it when the Giants face the Brewers.  They were tight, well-matched games with players I love on both sides and Ryan absolutely tore it up in the two games he played (he sat on Friday) but San Francisco still took the series.

It made me wish they played more often- this is the last of two series they played this year – and I actually started to create a pitch to convince Major League Baseball that Milwaukee is totally in the west and that’s the realignment we need.  But after a while I decided that was not a purposeful way of spending my time so I just sat back and enjoyed the ballgame.

The Giants looked good.  Like, really good.  And I came to a realization that I am a fan of good teams.  Now that weirded me out.  We all know the Giants were good last year and everything but that had the vague makings of a fluke.   Whatever happens this year, it’s July 24th and they’re making a serious run of this.  They are that team that opposing teams maybe aren’t so stoked about facing.  Before you give me the, Late to the party, sister, line, realize that I grew up with a notion that the Giants were kind of lame.  And for a good part of my pretty short life, they have been.  These days, they feel like something akin to a perennial pennant contender.

 The offense isn’t exactly rockin’ (what else is new?), but the pitching is and they are totally winning ballgames.

So if you don’t mind I’ll just check out a few more of these modern-day-version-of-something high school movies, sit back and marinate in Ryan Braun home runs and the fact that I am a fan of the defending World Champions.  This is all starting to freak me out to the point that I want to become a full time Pirates fan, but then I remember the Pirates are actually good and I end up somewhere on the other side of freaked out.

Catch y’all later.  I hope we meet the Crew again in the playoffs.  And I hope the dress code is strict for the whole White House thing today.  Sorry, Wilson.  I’m thinking more boho-chic than hobo-chic.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I think Nyjer Morgan was really, truly, actually doing the Tony Plush sign.

p.p.s.  Nope, me and my “I Love U, Ryan Braun” sign were not there.  I Object to $26 standing room tickets with a capital O.

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Band of Misfits 2.0 Starts Now, 7 Things About VogelStrong and Our Knight in Shining Armor Beat Writer

Today has been a big day in roster moves. Despite everything Bobby Evans (VP of Baseball Operations for the Giants) said about The Other Brandon/Brandon #2- Crawford has now taken sole possession of the Brandon #1 title- not coming back up until September, the third catcher on this roster has been sent down and Belt is back up. Three’s a crowd.  [I spoke preemptively/psychically here.  H. Sanchez was sent down, today 07/20/11, but not on the day of this post, 07/19/11.]  Not a shocking move. Meanwhile, the Astros seem to be trying to stockpile their farm system- or maybe just do something, anything because they have way too much time on their hands- with mid-ish level prospects and they traded second basemen Jeff Keppinger to the Giants (going to have to figure out how to spell this guy’s name sometime!) for pitchers Henry Sosa and Jason Stoffel today. Keppinger is 30 years old and he’s played in 48 games this year, with a batting average of .307. He has the quintessential baseball player beard, but other than that I can’t tell you a whole lot about him. He seems like he could be a good acquisition, but only time will tell. Band of misfits 2.0 starts NOW!

Meanwhile, VogelStrong (yep, I’ve cracked and started calling him that corny nickname) is tearing it up.  I know I’m a little late to the party, but he has me pretty well convinced of his brilliance now.  So! 

7 Things About Vogey:

7.  For just a few days, he had enough innings to qualify for the ERA standings.  And he has the league lead at 2.02.

6.  At .258, only four active Giants have a higher batting average than him (those are Sandoval, Scheirholtz and Ross).  Sadly, he does not have nearly enough at-bats to qualify him for anything in that realm.  Which is why, if this pitching thing ever falls through, I could totally imagine him as a first basemen with power.  I mean, not that this pitching thing looks like it’s going to fall through any time soon.  Just good to have a back-up plan, you know?

5.  His birthday is coming up in three days, July 22nd.  Will there be cupcakes?  Yes, there will be.

4.  His full name is Ryan Andrew Vogelsong.  Which is basically the only differentiating factor between him and the masses of Ryans in the Majors today.

3.  He has way better facial hair/sideburns than Wilson.  So it’s no surprise that on Twitter his hashtag, #VogelStrong, is so the new #FeartheBeard. 

2.  He did, however, spur the short-lived #RibbonGate last night, until our knight in shining armor beat writer Henry Schulman shot the whole thing down.  It was a good conspiracy theory while it lasted.

1.  He’s endlessly stoic on the field and in interviews, but a quick YouTube search shows that he does like a good time.  And he sings.  No matter how terribly (honestly, I can’t really hear him), he sings, people.  My heart is melting a bit.

More Dodger Blueness tonight.  I am not at all adverse to the idea of “Hug LA”, but I’m also not at all adverse to the idea of beating them again.  I will just avert my eyes when Loney is up and remind myself that he is a rival of my team and of San Francisco.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  But I am getting better.

Diamond Girl

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The Fashion Police Are Coming, Brian Wilson!

Brian Wilson offends me for many reasons.  The whole Thailand thing is the primary one.  But his latest crime is against fashion (not to mention, well, our eyes).

We all know you can’t stick Dolce and Gabbana suits or Marchesa dresses on everyone and tell them to strut down the red carpet.  You have to consider the kind of event and the personal style of the celebrity.  That makes sense.  An eccentric closer at the ESPYs?  He’s going to wear something fun and different.  Maybe fashion forward. 

Actually, he wore this.

Top Fashion Offenses In The World

  • Uggs
  • Eyeblack as a fan
  • Ripped tights with short shorts
  • Sneakers without laces
  • Tracksuits for anything other than exercising.   Even while exercising, they should be avoided whenever possible
  • Jumpsuits (yes, J. Lo.  Even you.)
  • Wearing a costume as fashion

Lady Gaga is my prime example of that last one.  Love her or hate her, her outfits are costumes, not fashion and I hate it when people confuse those two. Brian’s is also a costume.  And I think that is the surest sign of trying too hard.  I mean, doesn’t Wilson take the term “trying too hard” to a whole new level?

The line is, of course, “if he’s doing well on the field, he can do whatever he wants”, but I don’t think that’s true.  The Fashion Police can still come after him, right?  Not to mention he’s been iffy on the field lately.  And if he embarrasses the organization that’s not okay either.

Moving on to… reality TV!  The first episode of The Franchise aired last night, but since I am blissfully living in an age long ago when people didn’t have cable TV, I didn’t see it.  There are conflicting accounts, some saying it was pull-eyes-out-with-forks boring, some that it was leisurely paced but good.  I am going to try and acquaint myself with illegal streaming sites and check it out.  In the meantime, if anyone has a (no-spam, people) link, do let me know.  I did see some stills and it looks pretty, if nothing else.  And non-obtrusive.  I’m obviously not in the situation, but it seems they’ve been fairly low profile and it’s airing at a pretty low-action part of the season and wrapping up before things get really heated.  I do wonder if they’ll do it again next year and if so a) who?  and b) can they choose a better name?

Real Live Baseball That Matters is starting back up in- where else?- San Diego tonight and I have the butterflies stomach.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder (is that even possible in this case?) and this feels like the deep breath before the plunge.

Okay, done quoting.  I’m going to go print out my badge.  Have a lovely late afternoon.

Diamond Girl

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Some Unique First Hai– I Mean, First Half Awards

What did I take away from the 2011 All Star Game?

Justin and Jessica are having issues.  On-again-off-again is off right now.  So much for them eating tacos together, TMZ et al.  He was acting psycho.

(Note lame Fan Cave promos everywhere.)

Seriously, I was hoping he’d at least have a snappy outfit in the Bad Clothing Center of the Play aka the All Star Game, but no such luck.  His hat was nearly as terrible as that shirt.   Anyways, he’s now confirmed he’s a Dodger fan, so my Timberlake moment is over.  Flashing lights and all.


The game itself was kind of boring, except for Ogando and Gio pitching back to back.  That was fun.  But even when Wilson came in, the drama felt 100% manufactured.  I didn’t know who to root for, because I can’t decide how I feel about home field advantage and also because I actually liked more people on the AL squad, because the Giants don’t really play them so I have fewer negative memories of them hitting homers off us or whatever.  You know.  So I rooted for individuals and mostly just enjoyed all the players smiling at each other.  That’s so cute.

So I figure now that’s all over, I should do some mid-season awards.  Here we go:

First Half MLB Awards

Most Improved Hair: Michael Young

As previously discussed, the haircut goes a long way to making Michael look less like an evil blackmailer of Jon Daniels.  I’m liking him quite a lot right now.

Most Improved Facial Hair:  Barry Zito

I hated the ‘stache from moment 1.  The silver lining to Barry’s injury was that the superstitious baseball player that he is, he shaved it off.  And has come back lookin’ and pitchin’ better than ever.

Most Worsened Facial Hair:  Prince Fielder

This goes out to Wilson too:  beards like that make you look homeless.  Not to mention 10+ years older.  Bad idea all around.

Best GM: Theo Epstein

First everyone thought the Sox were going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Then everyone thought they were going to be a total bust.  I think we’re back to the greatest thing since sliced bread stage now.

Giant MVP: Nate Schierholtz

‘Nuff said, Giants fans.

Moment That Doug Melvin Outed Himself as a Shopaholic:  Ryan Braun’s Extension

I just can’t get it out of my head that they’re paying him through 2030.  Who knew that Doug and Rebecca Bloomwood are kindred spirits?

Best Brandon Moment: Tie between Brandon Crawford’s Homer in Debut and Brandon Belt’s Opening Day Call-Up

Our Brandons have made for some pretty great moments this year.

Worst Brandon Moment: Brandon Phillips Hit Which Resulted in Freddy Going Down

Other people’s Brandons?  Not so much.

So what are you awards and strongest memories from this 2011 first half?  Tell me, just because there’s been no real baseball for days and I am going through withdrawal.  Thanks.

Diamond Girl

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An Email to Scott Hairston, The Giant Killer

Dear Scott,

I actually think we could get along.  You’re tight with Ian Kinsler, right?  I totally like him.  And you have a cute nickname.  And you’re good.  See, I don’t mind you being good.  Against other teams.  I don’t even mind the occasional hit off the Giants.  That wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship.  It’s just that you are, well, The Giant Killer.

In case you think I am exaggerating or being overly dramatic, check out this sentence from your Wikipedia article: “He has been particularly tough against the Giants, with 11 of his 58 career homers coming off San Francisco, as well as 23 RBI, by far the most against any team he’s faced.” 

Wikipedia says it.  It’s fact.  So, understandably, I’m annoyed with you and your game tying homer in the ninth.  And why didn’t you tell me you were leaving the Padres?  An “im a met now” text would have cut it.  I think I read it in the media probably, but I was still sort of shocked when you came out on deck.

Then again, I can’t decide if this was an example of your hitting skills or some lame pitching.  I am inclined to think the latter.  Any lingering Wilson fondness you may have detected in my talking about Assyrian beard yesterday has vanished (you read my blog, right, Scott?  So you saw that post?). 

I know I’m overreacting and it’s just one loss.  It was just a little bit of a crushing one because of Nate’s splash hit and also because you guys aren’t, ahem, the greatest team this year.  No matter.  We’ll get you and your friends in black tonight.  Don’t think this will go un-avenged, Hairball.

Or… well… I have to ask… would you maybe be interested in a trade to the Giants?  If you can’t beat ‘em, get ‘em to join you, right?  We would love to have you.  I’ll deliver fresh dinner rolls to the club house every weekend.  I make really heavenly dinner rolls.  I will also make some really trendy mixes for the clubhouse and I promise not to put any Lord of the Rings soundtrack on there.  I’ll take you pedal boating in Golden Gate Park and get you the greatest gelato ever in Berkeley.  Interested?  Let me know ASAP.  Ideally, you know, before tonight’s game.  Thanks.  Have a great game.  If you’re in orange and black.  Otherwise, feel free to go 0’fer.  We’d understand.  The Giants great pitching and everything.  Makes total sense.


Diamond Girl

p.s.  Congratulations to Jeter on his 3000th hit!  What a beautiful baseball moment.

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