Tag Archives: brian wilson

Top 5 Ways to Be a Well-Liked Professional Athlete

Actually, these don’t just apply to professional athletes.  They sorta apply to everyone.  But with all the trouble athletes have been getting into these past few months, I thought I’d throw out of a few pro tips.

5.  Even if a team offers you a unique concept deal (is that like a concept album, JD?), do everyone a favor and be polite about declining it.  I’m not getting over this one any time soon, Josh Hamilton.  But have fun in Anaheim.  I hear it’s a great city.  Hahahaha.

4.  Don’t go to the airport drunk and without ID.  But should you happen to fall into that situation, instagraming some inspiration quotes should get you out of the public’s doghouse pretty fast.  Okay, Sergio Romo?  Okay.

3.  Don’t make promises you can’t keep.  Especially promises like, I’ll be ready for Opening Day after my second Tommy John surgery.  There’s no shame in recovery.  But there is some shame in your words being a whole lot bigger than what you can actually do.  Hiya, Brian Wilson.

2.  Don’t dope and then lie about it.  Important: if you’re going to do it, though, try not to, oh, alienate absolutely everyone else in the sport.  Having allies is a good thing, Lance.

1.  Don’t have an imaginary dead girlfriend.  This is a big one.  However, if you go against my advice, give the Associated Press the name of a real city when asked where she was (not) buried.  Carson City, California sounds like Wonderland, though.   I wish I could go there.

Happy-January-is-inching-by-soon-it-will-be-time-for-Spring-Training Day!

Diamond Girl

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Brian Sabean is Not Tender

I have a feeling that if I got a dollar for every person who laughed at my little pun in the title, I would be… exactly as rich/poor as I am now.  But there was a point, I promise.

As Henry Schulman explains in the Chronicle, “Friday is the deadline for teams to tender contracts to all unsigned players. Under the Collective Bargaining Agreement, any contract offer must be at least 80 percent of what a player made the year before. Wilson earned $8.5 million, so any offer for 2013 would have to be at least $6.8 million.  The Giants do not intend to offer Wilson a $6.8 million guarantee after he missed the 2012 season (save for two games in April) with an elbow injury that required his second Tommy John surgery.”

Santiago Casilla is in the same situation as Wilson, so his future will also be up in the air.  Wilson, of course, had his second Tommy John surgery and I think I speak for most Giants fans when I say I’m not nearly as convinced as he is that he’s going to be closing for the Giants on Opening Day.

And even if he could (barring a health setback, which is more than a distant possibility)… would we want that?  Sergio Romo took the closer role so decisively during the latter part of this past season and did a damn good job with it.  It’s hard to get inside the head of the management, but as a fan, no, I don’t.  I don’t have any love lost for Wilson and I think Romo’s a better closer.  I’d rather see Wilson walk.  But the Giants may be miles away from that… and only time will tell.

We’re creeping closer to the Winter Meetings, but the Hot Stove is sort of completely and utterly silent.  Apparently all the other GMs are as non-tender as Sabes.  Better leave before I make more of those jokes.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!  Why didn’t any of you warn me that putting a strap on a camera is like rocket science and would suck away an hour of my time?  I would have warned you.  If I had known.  I didn’t, obviously.  Hence that half hour that just disappeared

Diamond Girl

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5 Things I Loved About 2012 in San Francisco Giants-Land

The season is over.  The Dodgers beat the Giants 5-1 and now Theo Epstein And Other Losing GMs Whose Names I Can’t Remember are going into their war rooms/man caves/boring offices and getting ready to tackle the offseason.

Not Sabean.  Not us Giants fans.  The horchata ice cream is on steeping right now – horchata is a cinnamon rice drink from Mexico and it’s divine – and I am celebrating.  Because these playoffs, silly extra wildcard and all, are going to be pretty damn exciting.  There was serious drama in Oakland this afternoon with the A’s stealing the division title from the Rangers at the last moment and Emily, in the car, turning on her radio right before the last out and promptly, oh, slamming it off.

Still, it will be interesting for the Rangers.  They’ve lost in the World Series two years in a row… something had to change.  This could be just the shakeup they need, you know?

(Positive affirmations FTW.)

Anyway, as some of you (a few of you?  Yeah?  Maybe even one?) might remember, last year on the final day of the regular season, I made a list:  162 Things I Loved About 2011 in San Francisco Giants-Land.  I will go on the record as saying that was insane.  It took me a couple of days vegetating in bed and a few more days of H&M retail therapy to recover.  So, this year, I’ve decided to be do something a little… different.  5 Things I Loved 2012 in San Francisco Giants-Land!  (America’s youth is no longer ambitious.  You have proof.)

5.  The Marco Scutaro.  When Sabean picked up Scutaro, there was more than a little headshaking and whispering in this fandom – hey, you did it too, don’t even try to deny it – and then he began to hit and that was pretty much it.  The Marco Scutaro is spectacular.

4.  The Bullpen.  Believe it or not, Brian Wilson went down this season, even though it feels like ages ago now.  And this bullpen has stepped up big time.  Sure, there were bumps in the road, but overall?  I feel good about ‘em going into the postseason.  And that’s huge.

3.  The Buster Posey.  ‘Nuff said.  Also, huge congrats to him winning the batting title.  Hunter Pence is keeping secret what present the Giants got him, but I sure know what I would get him if someone would, um, donate the funds.

2.  The Matt Cain.  Who pitched a perfect game.  (Hey, that rhymed!)  Not only did that provide us bloggers with endless jokes about his perfection, all season long, but it also was, you know, a perfect game.  So there’s that.

1.  Making the playoffs.  There’s a foggy year in there somewhere (every year is a foggy year in San Francisco, but you know what I mean), but the Giants have bounced back big time and I think they’re seriously, seriously poised to do some damage in the coming weeks.  And if possible, I like this team even better than 2010.  Playoffs, here we come.

Also, antlers, here I come!

Diamond Girl

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They Will Pitch Well and Make Us All Gloomy with RISP Stats and Other Predictions for the Coming Months

Hello, darlings, and apologies for my semi-accidental absence.  I ended up spending the weekend lying under a large shady tree just bein’ lazy, as Bing Crosby might say, and watching/listening to baseball in the moments that I was not doing aforementioned laziness.  No time for blogging, see what I mean?

Anyway, now that it’s the last day of the first month of the season and we have an off day at last (thank you, Bud Selig, you’re the best-ish), I am back to break everything down.  April has been a strange month for the Giants, but then again, isn’t it always?  You can’t say any of the games mean anything but it is certainly important in terms of getting to know the team’s personality on the field and often, I think, if you look back at April at the end of the season, you’ll see a lot of things that now look like psychic hints, even if they weren’t the least bit apparent at the time.

So!  I’m just going to go on that hypothesis.  If April tells us everything we need to know about this team, what does that mean for them?   Observe, 2012 Trends for the Gigantes:

Hair Will Disappear

Why would I think this, you ask?  Nod to Timmy’s haircut and Brian Wilson’s season-ending Tommy John surgery.  The hair everywhere trend is so 80s, you know.  The Giants are just now getting clued into this and life has never been better.  In that sense, at least.

The Whole Season Will Feel the Dog Days of August, aka WEIRD

I am staunchly convinced that April felt like August this year, so you probably will not be able to dissuade me, no matter what you try.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I direct you to the weird injuries like Buster Posey’s shingles and Aubrey Huff’s anxiety disorder.  Stuff like that is supposed to happen when everyone is wiped out from a long season.  We’re in for that all year, it would seem.  I am going to need to break out my extraordinary multitude of virtual Get Well Soon cards soon.

This Will Be the Year of the Triples

You heard it here first.  Of course, you saw it first on the field with Angel Pagan and Nate Schierholtz and people, but hearing is more important than seeing so I win, in this situation.  Anyhow, I have always been of the opinion that triples are the secret weapon of playing at AT&T Park so they should probably, you know, utilize that.  This year will be the year that Happens with a capital H.

Interleague Play Will Be a Drag

Okay, no proof here.  But it always is, so that’s just a safe assumption, right?  Until they play the Rangers, that is.  That will be wondrous, of course.

They Will Pitch Well and Make Us All Gloomy with RISP Stats

Safe assumption, 2.0.

But really, I am encouraged.  April has not been disastrous, mostly, and blue skies show summer is coming.  Baseball is just getting started.  Restock the orange juice and settle in.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Yu Darvish is on ESPN tonight which means I can fine-all-ee watch him.  I am so excited you do not even know.  The Rangers were also in ESPN last night, facing the Rays, and I remembered that Jeff Keppinger is with them now.  Remember him, Giants fans?  He had an RBI in the Rays 5-2 victory.  This is Emily’s miffed face, right here.

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6 Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version

I admit it: the title was just an excuse to link to a scene from one of my favorite movies in recent history.  It has Christopher Lee’s voice and Danny Elfman’s music and Helena Bonham Carter with a massive head, need I really say more?

It’s also rather inspirational, as one of the YouTube commenters remarks in a rare moment of lucidity.  Commenters on YouTube tend to be a little bit, er, off their heads, to just continue with the Alice-in-Wonderland-ness, but I completely agree with this one.  I mean, if Alice can slay the jabberwocky, then the Giants can beat the Phillies, right?  Piece of cake, people.  Seriously.  The Phillies are not ten times their size and they don’t have Christopher Lee’s voice (important?  Yes.) and they don’t have those huge, spiky wings, either.  They seem like fuzzy teddy bears, by comparison.  And the Giants just proved that last night, with a 4-2 victory to even up the series.  The last game is tonight and Pat Burrell is not throwing out the first pitch again, so it’s sure to get off to a better start.  (That was my last Pat Burrell snark for a while.  Promise.  Maybe.)

Anyhow, there really was a point to that title, believe it or not, beyond talking about Tim Burton’s fabulousness.  I am going to make a list now, ‘k?  ‘K.  You know how I love making lists.  Here we go.  Six Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version.

6.  Brian Wilson who?  Santiago Casilla is clean-shaven and he can pitch.  The pitching part is a plus.  The clean-shaven thing is so very important I cannot even put it into words.   No one ever said my priorities were completely straight.

5.  Madison Bumgarner may be the first person in recent memory to actually sign a nice-sized contract and then do well.  Okay, maybe not the first.  But it’s rare, y’all and I was pretty impressed.  Maybe it has something to do with his, eh, interesting background.  If you have a while to spare between watching cat videos on YouTube or whatever and reading my blog, you should probably check this article out.

4.  Pat Burrell was there and the Giants won!   Shocking.  (I had my fingers virtually crossed up when I promised that up there.  Accept my sincere-ish apologies.)

3.  I missed Bruce Bochy’s birthday.  Facebook is supposed to remind me about these things!  Again, apologies.  Happy Belated, Bruce’s Head.  That is, Bruce.

2.  Novel #4, which is a magical realism story about death, has all sorts of strange baseball lingo mixed in.  Because I write while I listen to games, when I’m in a time crunch.  It’s an… interesting effect, to say the least.

1.  The Giants can slay the… I mean, beat the, Phillies.  This blog does not endorse slaying.  Usually.  Except in circumstances of people who vote on the Academy Awards and always vote wrong.  You are welcome to slay them.  Just try not to mention that I was involved.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  In the category of non-impossible things, the Rangers beat the Red Sox 18-3 at Fenway.  My smile stretches from San Francisco to Boston and back again. 

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