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Pressure Points That Relieve Headaches For World Series Winning Teams To Play Better At Home

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I got my contest prize yesterday, which is this beautiful photo book, “Freak Season”.  It has some fascinating little moments and I definitely recommend it to people who are Tim Lincecum fans (though no one is as big as me.  I am the ultimate Tim Lincecum fan.)  Yesterday was a good day.  Today?  Not so much.

 

Reasons today was depressing:

 

·         The Giants were on Fox.

I try not to be one of those endless complainers about national media but the broadcasters today made me want to pluck my eyeballs out with forks.  Not literally.

 

·         The Giants lost.

Dismally.  In the fog.

 

·         Pat Burrell attempted to run.

I never thought I would feel badly for him, but today I ever so slightly did.  It was painful to watch him run.  And what is with his eyebrows?  If someone doesn’t want to do anything with their eyebrows, I won’t pick on them.  But his look done.  Just bizarrely.

 

·         Tim Lincecum attempted to pitch.

And failed.

 

·         Tim Hudson pitched.

And succeeded brilliantly.  I have a little Big 3 nostalgia for him, but not when he’s blowing my Giants away.  Without even huffing and puffing.  Profoundly effortless, on his part.

 

·         The offense attempted to hit.

And failed.

 

·         Neftali Feliz was placed on the disabled list.

With right shoulder inflammation.  The club said that it’s sort of precautionary, since he’s so young.  My fingers are solidly crossed that that is true.

 

·         MLB has a new ad featuring Brian Wilson’s beard that is seriously nauseating.  

May I just say that epic is not always a compliment?  As in, epic can be an adverb, paired with words such as, “ridiculous”, “hideous” and/or “plain stupid”.  On KNBR the other day, they had the topic “Who’s your favorite Giant?” and I was floored by the lack of Brian Wilson responses.  I thought I was the odd one out in being sick of the act.  I don’t  think so.  He needs some serious image consultation.

 

There was some comic relief, though.  Like the girl with the “Marry Me, Ryan Braun” sign.  I don’t feel like I’m on high enough ground to pick on her, but at least my sign was a non-committal statement and it sure didn’t have my phone number.  My ground is at least a few inches higher, right?

 

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And I guess it’s sort of good news that the Giants are going on a 10 game roadtrip after tomorrow, because they seem better on the road, though their record is just about even.  I mean, I would be too, if there were crazy people with smeared eye-black and orange chest paint yelling strange cheers at 100 decibels.  Which is why I want Meditation Day at the ballpark and I would be a bad baseball player because I would choke when delivering the “the fans were so loud, it was amazing” line.  Although maybe they mean amazing in a bad way…?  Because otherwise I don’t get it.  I wonder if they are given a handbook after they win the World Series about pressure points that relieve headaches.  That could be useful.  For the players and the fans, actually.  I’m going to try acupressure next time I’m there.

 

Diamond Girl

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The Bullpen Drank Too Many Espressos and The Dodgers Will No Longer Be Paying People Six Figures to Channel Positive Energy

Let’s be real: winning this series in Colorado is better than anyone had expected, me included.  10-2 hurts, but finishing the roadtrip 4-2 makes it a little better.  Today’s game was also somewhat overshadowed by Sandoval’s injury, the moment when we thought Buster was injured and, of course, Brandon Belt’s birthday present.  He’s heading to Chuck E. Cheese Park (am I the only one who calls it that?  For those of you who don’t know, it’s actually called Chuckchansi Park.).  I’m surprised and not entirely thrilled.  I guess that experiment is over?  But that begs the question, why did that experiment happen at all?

And the Dodgers news.  Selig wised up and intervened in a situation that has really spun out of control.  I mean, I was all for the mystical healer/scientist and the positive energy thing.  You think they would pay me six figures to do that?  I bet I would make a great guru, even if I’m not much of a scientist and I am way closer than Russia.

 

But I think it’s time for the McCourts to find a nice hole to crawl into and hang out with rabbits in waistcoats.  Or something.  I wish them all the best, but there are only 30 clubs in Major League Baseball and there are a lot of people who could make the Dodgers- who aren’t a small market team, or anything- succeed to some extent.  It just isn’t fair to the city of Los Angeles and their Uggs and their beachballs and their hopefully fake tans.  Time for some Selig magic.  Why have I spent so much of this season being nice to the Dodgers?  I am too softhearted for my own fandom good.

Back to the Giants.  Though they only scored two runs today, the first inning run struck again.  I love first inning runs/leads before we even take the mound almost as much as I hate blown saves so that made me happy.  Cain didn’t have a whole lot today and the bullpen was, ahem, shaky.  Tired.  Like they either missed their morning coffee or drank too many espressos.  Can’t decide which.

 

I am actually feeling awfully confident now, which is weird after such a blowout loss.  The Braves are under .500 plus the boys in orange and black are coming back to drizzly San Fran so I think all will be right in the world.  As I said, I am huge into positive energy. 

Now if you’ll excuse me… there are Little League games to be attended and my silver and gold bangles are hitting the computer every time I type so if I don’t stop writing soon there may be irrevocable damage.  Ruined laptops are just the price you pay to look good, right?

Diamond Girl

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On the End of the Season, Barry Zito Second Career Idea, Coming Right Up and My Thoughts on All Things Contractual

Quickly… I’m honored and flattered to have my blog on the front of MLBlogs.  Thank you, people who decide those kinds of things!  But could you have chosen a picture where I wasn’t having a bad hair day?  That was a Bad Hair Day with capitals.  Do you think that’s why Ryan Braun didn’t come over?  Never mind.  Let’s have this conversation another time.

I want you to know that this game is giving me nightmares.  It’s not like I’ve never dreamt about baseball before.  Last offseason I dreamt that Barry Zito was having Thanksgiving dinner with my family and he kept falling asleep on his plate of noodles, and he didn’t look great with tomato sauce on his face, but this was different.  (That dream does beg the question: “Why were you eating noodles on Thanksgiving?”  Good question.  Don’t know the answer.)  Last night I dreamt that the Giants last game kept going on and on and no one would tell me the Braves score.  I was running around the house yelling, “Did it go final?”  I think it’s time for the regular season to be over.

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Photo not by me.  I don’t really eat noodles that much.  I just dream about eating noodles.

The regular season and the playoffs feel really different from each other, obviously, and today feels like the end of the marathon, which has literally lasted more than half a year.  It still feels less like a marathon, though, because it’s about one game or three games right now, so we’re getting a taste of the playoffs, instead of the “lots of time” mindset.  It’s going to be fun, no question, but I’m still sad for the endless every day spring and summer games to be over.  It drizzled today.  Where did the year go?  Did this go as fast for you as it did for me?  I’m looking at the year and it reminds me of Zito’s start yesterday.  A kind of, “Oops, that happened too fast, can we go back?”  It was ugly, yesterday.

My assessment about the Willie Mac Award has always basically been that 100,000 fans opinions are equivalent to one Barry Zito opinion.  Literally, they are, because the winner of the fan vote counts as one, just each player or staff member vote counts as one.  Self-esteem denting much, fans?  But those 100,000 fans together might pitch a little better than Zito did yesterday.  At least they might throw strikes albeit strikes that would land in McCovey Cove.  As we always say to console parents whose kids are getting snowed at Little League games, “At least he’s throwing hard.  At least he’s in the zone.”  When they start walking in runs, we say, “Does he play soccer in the offseason?”  (Just kidding, about that, by the way.  We actually nod soulfully.)

If his pitching career fails, I’d like to suggest a new career as a nail polish namer.  I’m not really clear on how you get into that industry, but name recognition might help.  Do you think people who hire nail polish namers would be familiar with a Cy Young Award winner?  You never know.  Anyway.  The reasoning behind my idea is in his nicknaming of Pablo Sandoval which has becoming one of the great marketing tools of the Modern Era (I’m talking about Pablo “Kung Fu Panda” Sandoval, not Pablo “Strand-Em-All” Sandoval) and his naming of his sporadic radio show “The Unicorn Hour”.  That might have been dreamed up by a brilliant young marketing executive at KNBR, but it kind of sounds like he came up with it.  And if he ever lacks inspiration, he could just dig into his 126 million dollars and hire someone to come up with ideas for him.  Take it from someone who spends a small fortune (a small fortune in my terms.  Not even on the radar screen in terms of 126 million dollars) on nail polish.  They need some fresh blood in the naming process.

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Photo by me.  One of my favorite ways to waste time is to photograph bottles of nail polish from interesting angles.  For once, I am not kidding.

It may sound like I’m picking on Zito about his contract, so I want to make it really clear that I’m not and I’d like to take this time to state my opinion on all things contractual.  Let’s say the thought process goes like this:  Coming home from a hard day of work to your family, who you are desperately trying to support in tough economic times.  You turn on your radio and hear, “And Zito walks in another run.”  You think, “God, how long would it take me to make as much as he makes in one GAME?  I hate Barry Zito.”

That’s where the thought process goes wrong.  I’d like to put us all in a room, getting offered 126 million dollars for doing nothing.  I think we’d all say yes.  Zito got offered that money to do what he’s probably wanted to do since he was a little kid.  You can hate the industry of baseball for how much its athletes get paid or you can hate Brian Sabean for signing someone to such a huge contact for so many years, but why hate Zito himself, exactly?  Take Aaron Rowand as another example.  The guy is notorious for working as hard as he possibly can to do his job well.  And some General Manager offered him financial stability for the rest of his life.  Why hate Aaron Rowand?

All kidding and hard stuff aside, though, I still believe in Zito, if only because he seems programmed to contradict people, like the rest of his current team.  He’s been Gollum for a while now, but he could still become “a light when all other lights go out.”, if given the chance.  To take a page out of NY baseball lore (since we’re the mercenary Yanks now):  You Gotta Believe.  Or, you know:  You Gotta Bereave.  We’ll see.  Stay tuned, darling people.  The marathon is going… going… gone…

Diamond Girl

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Are the Giants a World Series Team or Why Mark Reynolds Should Join Strikeouts for Troops

(This post written during the 3-D TV ads on MLB.com.  Trying to watch highlights from yesterday’s game.  And watching a Gcast interview where they say: “Jonathan Torres talks about upcoming games against the Cubs and the Braves.”  Was not aware his name is Jonathan.  I am, once again, confused.)

The energy is electric (like F. Sanchez’s hair is every day- take a look below) and there are a lot of reasons for that.  It’s Friday the 13th.  It’s Orange Friday.  The Padres are in town.  It’s on NBC tonight and Fox tomorrow.  Jonathan Sanchez is trying to live up to his prediction to the press.  And I am cheering “Beat SD” every few minutes.

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I think we really can sweep the Padres and I think the Giants are going to the play-offs.  I think they’ve totally got it in them to win the division or worst-case scenario, the wild-card.  My question is this: are they a World Series team?  And if they are: are they a World Series winning team?  And that is where my doubt lies.  I don’t necessarily think the AL is literally tougher, but I don’t know… Giants v. Yankees?  Giants v. Rangers?  MadBum v. Jeter?  I don’t necessarily see us coming out on top.

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And I want you to guess why Mark Reynolds should join Strikeouts for Troops.  (Hint: He broke the record for number of strikeouts in one season and stands to break his own record this year.  Maybe Zito should approach him about a few hundred every time he strikes out?)

Diamond Girl

 

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