Tag Archives: arizona

25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day

I always think I’m going to love off-days.  I’m going to get loads done and not miss baseball irrationally (it’s just one day!), but when it comes down to it, I hate off-days.  I’m not accustomed to this practice of doing normal, humanbeing things like not scheduling my day around a baseball game.  It confuses me.  I don’t get much done at all.  So!  With that in mind, I decided to make a helpful post – don’t you love those? – 25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day.  Without further ado…

25.  Take “occupy” literally.  Choose someone who’s been really annoying you lately and just occupy their space.  Your boss’s desk is a great example.  Get some markers and make a sign or two, bring your old tent and you’re good to do.  Easy peasy.  (I do not take responsibility if you lose your job, though.  Being a rebel does have occupational hazards.)

24.  Take up basket-weaving.  I hear it’s fun and super time consuming.

23.  Get a pair of shearing scissors and offer free haircuts on the street.  People will love you.

22.  Brush up on your Buster Bash skills.  You can never have too many sunflower seeds.

21.  Make a list of all your best Jose Altuve jokes and publish it on the internet.

20.  Better still, make a list of your ways to stay occupied and post it on the internet.  Hey, that actually sounds like a good idea!

19.  Petition Bud Selig to eliminate off-days.  It worked real well with the whole Emily-for-Commish thing.

18.  Blame Diamond Girl for this atrocity because of that sign she made way back when.

17.  Make cupcakes.  Just ‘cause.

16.  Head to the bookstore or your Kindle (whichismurderingpreciousprintbutwtvr) and read some positive psychology books.  The Giants will be so rested!  They’ll beat AZ!  Off-days are awesome!

15.  Cry.  Stock up on mocha ice cream.  You know the end of this story.

14.  Make MLB Memes and send them to your friends.  Refresh your email and glower when nobody answers in ten minutes.

13.  Post a few cryptic Facebook statuses that are totally directed at your football-watching friends.

12.  Watch The Hobbit trailer a few(hundred) times.  Smiley face.

11.  Watch a baseball movie or two.  Not recommended.  Baseball movies are unanimously awful, in my opinion, but you all disagree so proceed.  I will not say a word.  (More.)

10.  Try to paint your nails orange and black, like Brian Wilson’sFail.  Move on.

9.  Listen to 2010 top hits.  You now have two options:  a) Get teary eyed and reminiscent b) Thank Higher Power of Choice That We Are Not in 2010 Anymore Because That Music Was God-Awful.

8.  Politely but firmly beg Sergio Romo to confine his tweets to 140 characters.

7.  Read certain stats about the Reds.  NLDS is unwinnable.  Get depressed.

6.  Read other stats about the Reds.  We got this thing!  Get excited.

5.  Enter the Giants lottery for the opportunity to buy playoff tickets.  Prepare to live in abject poverty for the rest of your life, but it will have been worth it.

4.  Polish up your proposal of marriage to Marco Scutaro and send it off.  Start shopping for rings.

3.  Also get a caterer and reserve the venue and send out save-the-dates with the groom’s name TBA.  Normal behavior and Marco will think it’s adorable.

2.  Come up with a new playoff superstition.  You know not washing your shirt doesn’t work, right?  Right?

1.  Do not, under any circumstances, do what I just did.

Diamond Girl

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Santiago Casilla Going to the Moon

This just in:  Santiago Casilla can do absolutely anything.  If I were Hensley Meulens, I would totally take him along when I went to the moon.  (Yep, Bam Bam is going to the moon in a couple years.)

These have roughly the same amount of improbability:


In reference to Casilla’s hit, Guillermo Mota mentioned that he hit a homer in his very first Major League at-bat, with the Montreal Expos, about a month after his call-up.  Imagine if you were an Expos fan in those days (if there, eh, were any Expos fans) and you saw that.  You must have thought Mota was like the greatest thing to ever happen to the universe.  Then you realized the terribly disappointing truth.  I kid, I kid…

Beat AZ.  7.5 games up, guys.  7.5 games.  thatisall.

Diamond Girl

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Three Game Fives! Plus Gloomy, Apocalypse-Is-Coming Stares

Guess what, people?  (If you guessed that Apple is in mourning you would be right, but wrong.  Right because it’s true, but wrong because that’s not at all what I meant.)  There’ll be three game fives this year for only the third time in MLB history (others were, in case you’re a geek and you’re wondering, 1981 and 2001)!  Yankees/Tigers will fight it out tonight and tomorrow all the National League stuff will be decided.

Yep, I’m seriously considering heating up my flatiron for the occasion.  All this drama necessitates some stress-relief and what better stress relief than roasting my hair within an inch of its life?   I think that came out sounding weirder than I meant for it to.

Anyhow, stress aside, I’m really totally stoked about all these games.  Around the league, and this may just be me, this season felt a bit lackluster so it figures and is awesome that these playoffs have been nothing short of thrilling.  Just good baseball all around, you know?  It’s been tons of fun to check the scores as the games progress, because I really genuinely have no idea which way they’ll all go.

I’ve also really been surprised by the fight the Diamondbacks have put up.   I mean, I still think the Brewers are going to take this, hands down (I know, jinx alert!) but I had this belief during the regular season that Arizona was a world-class fluke and would be crushed out of the playoffs at the first chance anyone got but apparently that was irrational.  I will say now with a gloomy, apocalypse-is-coming stare that I was wrong and they really have something going.  And (repeats the gloomy stare) that it’s pretty great that they overcame all the last place predictions and took the division.

All that said, BrewCrew f-o-r-e-v-e-r!  And I’m glad Texas clinched earlier.  Because as much as stress gives me good hair, four game fives would have been a little much.  Thank you, Rangers.  For preserving what is left of my sanity.  You rock.  And so do the playoffs.

Diamond Girl

p.s. In other news, Timmy likes to trash nice apartments and then deny he did it.  Huh.

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Epic, Massive, Total Buzzkill

My Saturday and Sunday were spent doing things like adding new Pandora channels, watching The Dark Knight, browsing earrings with text on them on etsy.com and watching my fish eat.  Which is to say, anything but thinking about the Giants.

I’d be lying if I said I was excited to write this post.  In fact, I’ve kinda-sorta been putting it off.  Because I’m more than a little bit crushed.  I can deal with losing.  No, really.  Don’t raise your eyebrow at me like that.  I can. But this season has just been a heartbreaker.   Especially that beautiful surge right at the end that made it impossible not to hope.  Mathematical elimination hurts in any case.  2010 and the organization “having something good going” feels a long way off right about now.

So I am just gazing at my antlers on my dresser (almost that time of year again!  Almost It’s Time time!) and trying to muster enjoyment for the last three games of this year and then the postseason.

Once the sting of this all wears off, I’m sure this season will look like a fabulous example of resilience, because the Giants made a hell of a run despite tons and tons- and did I mention tons?- of injuries. 

There are, of course, some unfortunate things to come out of this year, foremost in my mind right now being Tim Lincecum’s (and probably Cain, too) dissatisfaction with the Giants and the offense and all that and desire to leave.  Really, it was also disappointing to finally get the Bat that Will Save the Offense and have it be a letdown.  The Beltran trade was that move every team wants their GM to make at the deadline and this is just an example of it not working out real well.  Total buzz kill.

Then again, wasn’t that whole series in Arizona  massive, total buzz kill?

I need cupcakes.  Pronto.  That is all.

Diamond Girl

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Very Literal Snake Watch and the Whole Machairi-Champourgker Phobia Thing

Well, so, seeing as the Giants are 8.5 games out of first place we’re not really doing a Snake Watch on dem Diamondbacks.  But I did make friends with snake today!  (Don’t worry, it wasn’t a diamondback.  It was a non-poisonous, non-Giant-beating sweetheart who licked my hand and left me totally in love with snakes.)

The first two games against Los Angeles on Friday and Saturday marked borderline season lows for me.  I guess I wanted to hold out hope that this team was still contending until the actual elimination and those games drove home that fact that this season is probably not going to culminate in any playoffs for the Giants.  It was a bit sad.  It that was all made better, of course, by today’s game, though.  Contending or not contending, March is a long way off and there would be any number of slightly heartbreaking changes this offseason.  Today was just a fun September game, with them all playing their hearts out and it was decidedly smile-worthy.

And now a word about Affeldt.  Two words, actually.  1) Ouch!  2) Oh. My. God. No. 

Well, that was five words in the end.  But you know what I mean.  I have actually developed a strange phobia of knives and frozen hamburgers over the past few days.  To make this all legit and Greek, that would be machairi-champourgker.  Jeremy has scarred me for life with that injury.

On the upside, Zito will be getting one more chance at life- I mean, pitching- because of it.  He was activated today and will probably work out the bullpen.  I am most definitely intrigued.

Diamond Girl


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