Tag Archives: 2011

Script: My Conversation with Brian Sabean

Time: The Present

Setting:  Post-apocalyptic San Francisco with red tinged sky and eerie silence, except for bats flying around.  Okay, fine.  It’s an office at AT&T Park.  I was trying just to liven things up.  Brian Sabean and Diamond Girl are sitting in the office.  Sabean is wearing a grey suit, minus jacket.  DG is wearing a sweater dress, jeggings and boots.  Her perfume is Amber by Prada and her purple eyeshadow is from MAC. 

DG:  Hello, Brian!

Sabean (looking slightly suspicious):  Hello, Diamond Girl.

DG:  You know, I’m so glad to meet you.  I’ve always been a huge fan of yours.

Sabean (Looking very suspicious):  Huh.  Funny I saw on your blog that you stopped rooting for the Giants in the World Series because you were unhappy with me.

DG:  Uh, no.  That totally didn’t happen. 

Diamond Girl subtly pulls out iPod Touch and deletes the post he is referencing.

DG:  Anyway, Sabes.

Sabean:  Brian.  Or Mr. Sabean.  Or GM Extraordinaire.   Whatever.  Just not that horrible nickname.   I can’t stan–

DG:  Okkkkaayyy.   Moving right along.  What I was trying to say is just that I think you’ve done a great job at setting up your team to repeat in 2011.

Sabean:  Who gave you this meeting?  I have better ways to spend my time than listening to fangirls tell me why my team is awesome.

DG:  I have my ways.  Of getting meetings.

The scene fades and there is a flashback of DG in a witch hat over a cauldron saying an incantation to get a meeting with Brian Sabean.  Scene flashes back.

DG:  Actually, GM Extrordinai–

Sabean:  Please.  I wasn’t being serious.  That was just an example.

DG:  Oh.  Sorry.  Okay.  Mr. Sabean.  I actually have an idea for y’all.

Sabean:   Do enlighten me.

DG:  You know how you’ve always had that sort of loser-hanger-oner-starter the past few years?

Sabean:  Like Wellemeyer or Joey.

DG:  Right.  Who do you think is going to fill that role this year?

Sabean:  We’re World Series champs, Diamond Girl.  We don’t need loser-hanger-oner-starters.

DG:  I beg to differ.  And the great part is that this interesting, talented, only slightly loser-hanger-oner-starter was just DFA’ed.

Sabean:  That’s too good to be true!

DG:  But it is true.  His name is Armando Galarraga and the Tigers DFA’ed him.  Sure, there’s a 2.5 million dollar contract there, but we got money, right?

Sabean:  Wow, Diamond Girl!  What a great idea!

Sabean turns to phone and calls Dave Dombrowski .  Within a few minutes, the deal is complete. 

Exeunt DG and Sabean.  Scene fades.


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The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Fan Fest. And My Chocolate Mousse.

With Giants Fan Fest just a month away, now seems like a good time to discuss it.  I did the Fan Fest thing for the first time last year and it was, um, flawed.  To say the least.  In my opinion.   I looked on the internet and saw only glowing reviews of it, so I’m really curious… do you like your team’s Fan Fest?  Are you planning to go this year?  And without further ado, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly in my opinion.

The Good


Going into the press box and seeing the labels for all the different news sources and the view from there was lots of fun.


Going on the field…


…and seeing the view of the stands from the field

The Bad

Which has much more text and fewer pictures = much less fun.

Sort of hectic and unpleasant and for all anyone was doing to speed it along, the lines were very long and slow.  I get that there were a lot of people who appreciate and enjoy that you can just go in for free and see whatever you want to see, but that honestly wasn’t fun for me or my Fan-Fest-going-partners.  I think if it were more guided and concise, it would be more fun for all.  Timed tickets, anyone?  It’s not like I have cash flowing out of my ears or anything, but I would absolutely be willing to pay something if the event was better streamlined.   Especially if the parking stayed free. 

money coming out of ears.jpg 

Some visual aid on the cash coming out of ears thing.  Doesn’t that guy look exactly like me?  Twins separated and birth, I think.  And I was delayed for 40 odd years.

Even on a smaller scale, it was just hard to find where anything was or what, exactly, was going on.  The workers seemed as genuinely confused as I was.  And the way the KNBR booth- which could have been a top attraction- was set up, made it hard to have a good time watching.  The Chronicle Live set was way more fun and had TVs set up playing the show so you could see the result of what was going on set.  At the KNBR booth, you couldn’t hear a thing and there were no radios. 


But there was a Tim Lincecum spotting, so how bad could it have been?

The Ugly

I’m not blaming the Giants for this, but the field was like going to the beach.  Wet and sandy.  And kind of muddy, too.  Not prime conditions for my embellished boots.  Or my brother’s sneakers, for that matter.  Just not prime conditions to walk on. It was a little bit ugly.




For all that, I will probably end up going back this year.  It’s been a long offseason and I don’t think I’ll be able to pass up a chance to smell some baseball.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  You knew I wouldn’t end this post without referencing National Whipped Cream Day.  I made chocolate mousse with whipped cream.  It was really good.  But not real whipped cream, I guess, because whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips.  Willy Wonka is the authority on this one.

whipped cream1.PNGwhipped cream2.PNG


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If This is What 2011 is Like, I Want 2010 Back and Why I Am Okay With the World Ending in May

Everyone is probably totally over 1-1-11, by now, but I just looked at my web stats and saw that I had 111 visitors to my blog that day.  Isn’t the just one of those things that makes you smile?  It makes me smile, at least.

Anyway.  If this is what 2011 is like, I want 2010 back.  I’m sure I’ll change my mind soon, but this year has been pretty hellish so far.  One violent cold and an undisclosed number of bowls of potato leek soup later, I’m finally ready to start the new year.  In Diamond Girl Land, it is now January 1st.  And every day is National Cupcake Day there too, because I could really use a cupcake right now.  Because aside from my cold, the endless parade of slow news day are enough to make anyone need some cupcakes.  I guess a few things did happen.

The Rangers made their deals with Webb and Rhodes official. 


And Jon Daniels said something vaguely incoherent at the press conference.

The Giants did God-only-knows-whatever-they-do-all-offseason.


Looks like it’s boring for Sabean too.

A-Rod sported a particularly atrocious fedora in Vegas.


And Armageddon is coming in May.  Good thing Ashton Kutcher is ready.

ashton.jpgend of the world.jpg

Bad shades and all.

In a little bit of good news, only 41 days until catchers and pitchers report and the 2011 season comes a little closer to reality.  Even if judgment day does come in May, we’ll get a month of the new baseball season in before then.  I am no longer afraid.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  MLBlogs is doing that thing with the bolds again.  Sorry for the weirdness.

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Peace and Love and Antlers to All + My Resolutions for 2011

Peace and love and antlers to all!

I am purging 2010 (though seriously, what is there to purge?  The Giants and the Rangers played each other in the World Series) by redoing my nail polish.  Even so, I love New Year’s Eve and am pumped for 2011.  It’s going to be very good.  Armando Galarraga will do fantastically along with Eugenio Velez (he’ll do well, but the Dodgers won’t, of course) and Joe Martinez, who will be signed by the Rangers before the offseason ends.  ::Diamond Girl gives Jon Daniels a very pointed look::  The Niners may also hire me as their GM (okay, yes, that’s unlikely).  Bud Selig will decide to do important things like make the wild card wild and rename the Winter Meetings (this year from December 6th-9th) because everyone knows winter begins on December 21st.  The world will get over their Glee complex and watch baseball instead.  And the world will accept the antlers as the truth of all creation and wear them all year round.

I’m not really into New Year resolutions, but I’m going to try it this year. 

1.  I resolve to visit my grandparents in Los Angeles without fighting over whether Wilson or Broxton is a better closer. 

2.  I resolve to dissolve my life savings and go to Citi Field or Yankee Stadium. 

3.  I resolve to carry a sign to an A’s vs. Rangers game and get the object of my sign to autograph it. 

4.  I resolve to crash the 2011 GM Meetings. 

5.  I resolve to repeat my feat of walking over every inch of AT&T Park in stilettos. 

Okay.  I now have plenty to do next year.  Soon it’ll be time (It’s Time!) to settle in for a night of delayed Times Square.  Happy New Year everyone.   Hugs and cupcakes and aviator Prada sunglasses to all in the coming year.  2011’s gonna rule.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  2010 was my first year at this- blogging- and so I want to thank you all again for reading and commenting.  71 entries.  A lot of talk about Ryan Braun.  I dig the world.


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Something Semi-Important and Semi-Barry Zito Related Happens

Looking back I realized I’ve been blogging pretty steadily this offseason, despite the absence of Important and Barry Zito Related Things happening.  But something semi-important and semi-Barry Zito related happened yesterday, so I need to chronicle it.  (Maybe the semi should be in bold?)

I went down to Santa Cruz with my family yesterday because the day between storms in late December is obviously the perfect day to go the beach.  Duh.  And it’s also the perfect time to test out my intrepid explorer persona by going in the water.   This is California and everything but the water was cold.

Anyway.  We were watching the sun set at Westcliff Beach and there were lots of surfers.  Which inevitably led to a conversation about the whole “surfer chicks love surfer guys. . . . Hot chicks don’t dig ballplayers” theory.  And by the time the sun had set we had all reached the conclusion that the statement is false.  Take note, Zito!


The surfer guys.  None of whom had sandy blonde hair and super white smiles, for the record.  What has the surfer guy come to?


And the sunset was very beautiful

And there’s only one full month of complete offseason left.  January is going to fly by and then catchers and pitchers report to camp.  We can last that long, right?  I mean, as long as a few more Important and Barry Zito Related Things happen I can totally last.

Diamond Girl

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