Tag Archives: 2010

Red Velvet Cupcakes, Atlanta and Jonathan Sanchez’s Magic Leather Jacket

During the 2010 season, I baked a lot of cupcakes.  A lot, a lot.  I pretty much had cupcakes coming out of my ears during that year.  At the time, I told myself it was about the baking.  Looking back now at my fragile psychological state, I realize it was never about the cupcakes.  (The first step is admitting you have a problem, y’know.)  It was about the Torture with a Capital T.  See, when I get nervous and frazzled, I bake.  Tons.  Tons.

Which is why I’m feeling a strange sense of déjà vu as I stare at the red velvet cupcake recipe printed and sitting next to me on my desk.  I tell myself that I am longing for red velvet cupcakes, but it’s also worth noting that the Giants are starting off a key, six-game roadtrip later this afternoon against the Braves.  And yeah, I’m nervous.  And yeah, I’m baking.

Can I just talk out my fears?  You don’t mind, do you?

a)      Barry Zito will melt.  He’s been known to go all ice-cream-cone-in the-sun-on-us.  This is not irrational.

b)      We’ll, like, get no-hit.  These things happen.  And Buster Posey’s entire extended family/every person he’s ever met in his life will probably be there, because they always are when the Giants hit Atlanta.  That would be embarrassing, guys.

c)       My red velvet cupcakes will taste like vinegar.  All the recipes I’ve looked at have cider vinegar in them.  I’m told cider vinegar is sweeter than normal vinegar, but I can’t get the theoretical taste of a cupcake with Balsamic vinegar out of my head.  Speaking of embarrassing.

d)      The beautiful round number of 2.0 games ahead of the Dodgers will shrink.

e)      Jonathan Sanchez, in a jealous rage after being DFA’d by the Royals, will get out his Magic Leather Jacket and place a curse on the Giants so they can never wear chic clothes again and, somewhat less importantly, lose.

f)       Hector Sanchez, seeing they are away and there is no chance at a walk-off, will decide to go 0’fer.  Just because.

Whew.  That feels better.  Thanks for listening.  You guys are the best.  Must go make cupcake frosting now.  xoxo.

Diamond Girl

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Me and the World Series Championship Go Out To Dinner

Let me set the scene: me and my darling hubby, the Giants 2010 Championship, waltz into a snazzy restaurant to celebrate our one year anniversary.  He’s wearing a Dolce & Gabbana suit and I have a beautiful, cream-colored dress from Oscar De La Renta, plus some awesome Louboutin heels.

We order our appetizers and begin to talk.

Me:  Happy One Year Anniversary, honey!

Hubby:  Happy Anniversary to you too, love!

Me:  Can’t believe it’s been a whole year.  I mean, remember the wedding? 

Hubby:  How could I forget?  Biggest moment of my franchise history. 

Me:  Totally.  That is, biggest moment of my life.  I mean, I was so nervous, I nearly forgot my vows.

Hubby:  Or what to say in the post-game press conference.  I was all choked up.  It was bad, but great at the same time.

Me:  Uh-huh.  And all my friends and family were super-supportive, which was awesome. 

Hubby:  Yeah, I mean I couldn’t have done this without my trainers and my family and the fan—

Me:  Uh, yeah.  Right.  This is not your acceptance speech or anything, though, remember?  It was a year ago.  Already happened.

There is an awkward silence in which the waiter appears with a bottle of champagne.  He pours it into the (very snazzy) glasses and leaves, after staring down his nose at our silence for a little while.

Me (laughing):  Gotta say, though, I much prefer drinking champagne this way.  As opposed to, you know, having it sprayed all over me.

Hubby (does not look amused- says coldly)Do you?

Me (laughing trailing off):  Well, yes, actually.  You might not understand that, being a Championship and all…

Hubby:  Are you implying something about me?

Me:  No!  No!  Not at all!   Sit back down, hubby.  Cool off.  I was just saying that, you know, Championships have different preferences than humans as to how they drink their champagne.  I don’t think that’s irrational of me or offensive or anything.  It doesn’t make you worse than me or whatever.  Just… different.

Hubby:  Hmm.  Alright.  Fine.  (At this point the Championship takes out his iPhone and begins texting.)

Me:  (Rolls eyes and drums manicured fingernails on the white tablecloth.)

Hubby:  Oh, honey?   I think I have to get going.  Some other anniversary celebrations to attend.  You don’t mind, do you?

Me:  WHAT?!

Hubby:  Love you!  See you next year!

(I drum my fingers a bit more, stare at him leaving the restaurant and then order up some garlic fries and reminisce on my own.  That is, until the chef comes storming out of the kitchen, asking what I think I am implying about the restaurant by ordering garlic fries.  I seem to be offending a lot of people today.

At last, I go home and reason that really, he is a Championship and I can’t hold him responsible for his non-socially-acceptable behavior.)

Happy anniversary, y’all!

Diamond Girl

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500 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday

No, you misread the title.  It said 5 facts to brighten your Blue Monday.

Not that my Monday needs any brightening.  But I just read that today is something called Blue Monday- a day called by “scientists” the most depressing day of the year.  Reading that was the most depressing thing that’s happened to me all day, honestly, but I figure some of you might need brightening.  So.  5 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday.

5.  Josh Hamilton left the hospital today, after being there for five days with pneumonia.  Wishing him a smooth rest-of-recovery.

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4.   Albert Pujols will not leave the Cardinals.  If we repeat that enough times, it will totally come true.  Join hands.  Positive affirmations only.

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3.  Moneyball comes out in 249 days.  I am still not sold on the whole Brad Pitt thing but I am, evidently, counting the days ’til it comes out.

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2.  And since we’re doing the whole countdown thing here, it’s 73 days until the Ultimate Day, a.k.a. Opening Day.  And I’ll let you in on a little secret.  I just realized the home opener is on a special day for me.  No, I’m not getting married or moving to the set of Lord of the Rings.  Nothing like that.  It’s a, you know, recurring special day.  I will reveal more to my obviously riveted audience later.

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1.  The Giants won the World Series.  Say it out loud, for good measure.  I know it’s become sort of common knowledge now, but it does serve to remember it.

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And here’s to a less depressing tomorrow.  ::clinks orange juice glasses::

Diamond Girl

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If This is What 2011 is Like, I Want 2010 Back and Why I Am Okay With the World Ending in May


Everyone is probably totally over 1-1-11, by now, but I just looked at my web stats and saw that I had 111 visitors to my blog that day.  Isn’t the just one of those things that makes you smile?  It makes me smile, at least.

Anyway.  If this is what 2011 is like, I want 2010 back.  I’m sure I’ll change my mind soon, but this year has been pretty hellish so far.  One violent cold and an undisclosed number of bowls of potato leek soup later, I’m finally ready to start the new year.  In Diamond Girl Land, it is now January 1st.  And every day is National Cupcake Day there too, because I could really use a cupcake right now.  Because aside from my cold, the endless parade of slow news day are enough to make anyone need some cupcakes.  I guess a few things did happen.

The Rangers made their deals with Webb and Rhodes official. 

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And Jon Daniels said something vaguely incoherent at the press conference.

The Giants did God-only-knows-whatever-they-do-all-offseason.

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Looks like it’s boring for Sabean too.

A-Rod sported a particularly atrocious fedora in Vegas.

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And Armageddon is coming in May.  Good thing Ashton Kutcher is ready.

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Bad shades and all.

In a little bit of good news, only 41 days until catchers and pitchers report and the 2011 season comes a little closer to reality.  Even if judgment day does come in May, we’ll get a month of the new baseball season in before then.  I am no longer afraid.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  MLBlogs is doing that thing with the bolds again.  Sorry for the weirdness.

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Peace and Love and Antlers to All + My Resolutions for 2011

Peace and love and antlers to all!

I am purging 2010 (though seriously, what is there to purge?  The Giants and the Rangers played each other in the World Series) by redoing my nail polish.  Even so, I love New Year’s Eve and am pumped for 2011.  It’s going to be very good.  Armando Galarraga will do fantastically along with Eugenio Velez (he’ll do well, but the Dodgers won’t, of course) and Joe Martinez, who will be signed by the Rangers before the offseason ends.  ::Diamond Girl gives Jon Daniels a very pointed look::  The Niners may also hire me as their GM (okay, yes, that’s unlikely).  Bud Selig will decide to do important things like make the wild card wild and rename the Winter Meetings (this year from December 6th-9th) because everyone knows winter begins on December 21st.  The world will get over their Glee complex and watch baseball instead.  And the world will accept the antlers as the truth of all creation and wear them all year round.

I’m not really into New Year resolutions, but I’m going to try it this year. 

1.  I resolve to visit my grandparents in Los Angeles without fighting over whether Wilson or Broxton is a better closer. 

2.  I resolve to dissolve my life savings and go to Citi Field or Yankee Stadium. 

3.  I resolve to carry a sign to an A’s vs. Rangers game and get the object of my sign to autograph it. 

4.  I resolve to crash the 2011 GM Meetings. 

5.  I resolve to repeat my feat of walking over every inch of AT&T Park in stilettos. 

Okay.  I now have plenty to do next year.  Soon it’ll be time (It’s Time!) to settle in for a night of delayed Times Square.  Happy New Year everyone.   Hugs and cupcakes and aviator Prada sunglasses to all in the coming year.  2011′s gonna rule.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  2010 was my first year at this- blogging- and so I want to thank you all again for reading and commenting.  71 entries.  A lot of talk about Ryan Braun.  I dig the world.

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