Monthly Archives: June 2013

My Name Is Emily and I Don’t Vote for the All Star Game

I am an unabashed lover of the dollar store.  Because the dollar store is pretty much the greatest thing since the doughnut store next door.  That’s right, there’s a doughnut store next to the dollar store.  I rest my case.

Anyhow, I’m telling you this because I was there a few weeks ago and there was this plastic flamingo balloon thing and in that moment I was absolutely positive it was going to change my life, plus it was a dollar (mostly that), so obviously I bought it.  Also obviously: I regretted it the second I got it out the door.  It’s one of those things you can’t ever get rid of, though.  Like, I’ve tried.  I’ve stashed it away where I think I’ll never have to see it again, but it just keeps resurfacing.  And I can’t be bothered to just throw it away, so the flamingo is here to stay, I think.  I’ve named it Stephanie.


This is the actual flamingo.  Thanks, internet.  I’ll forgive you for the time when you hated me and wouldn’t load pages, by which I mean every day.  Actually, I don’t forgive you.

I’m telling you that because it’s kind of a powerful analogy that I’d like to use for the fact that I haven’t voted for the All Star Game in about four years, with one notable exception.  (Which I will get to later.)  But I just can’t bring myself to angle away from my Twitter/pretty exceptional Spotify playlists/enough What To Wear and What Not To Wear Article to Paper All the Walls of My Theoretical Mansion in Malibu and get to voting.

That’s not quite it.  I could probably drag myself away from those riveting things mentioned above if I cared about voting, but I don’t.  I don’t much like the All Star Game and I’m never sure who to vote for so I sometimes write in Joe Martinez and Eugenio Velez and Dave Grohl, because really, what baseball needs is an celebrity All Star Game, like the NBA has.  I mean, Jack White is totally closer material.

So that’s why I don’t vote, I guess?  But I do like that by being a Giants fan I get the reputation of being a ballot-stuffer.  It’s kind of like being really badass by association, no leather jacket or motorcycle needed.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Oh yes!  The story about the time I did vote.  It was when Yu Darvish was up for the final vote.  I think I voted 75 times, or whatever the maximum is.  Because I love Yu.  I also might have been really bored or hyped on coffee that day?  I can’t remember.  I also can’t remember if he ended up winning that and I’m too lazy to reach for the Google, so I’ll just live with the mystery.

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The Draft and Some Fun Facts About the Year 2000

The draft is one of my favorite parts of the baseball year.  Not because I spend a lot of time researching the eligible players or anything, because I don’t.  (I have to spend, like, a few hours a day doing non-baseball-related stuff.)  But I enjoy it a lot all the same.  I enjoy the Bud Selig weirdness and I enjoy the extremely awkward interviews with the newly-drafted players and I love the shots of the various teams’ war-rooms, right before they announce their picks.  I can’t say I like the creepy Disney studio they do it, but you can’t have it all, apparently?

It started off really nicely with Bud Selig announcing the #1 overall pick in the… 2000 draft.  2000 was a good year, but seriously.  (It wasn’t a good year at all.  The top grossing movie was Mission: Impossible II.  I don’t really know what that is, but it sounds Tom Cruise-y.  ‘N Sync and Britney Spears also had a big year.  So.)

The #1 pick was Mark Appel, though, who does have an interesting story.  Those of you who followed the draft last year will remember he was a hot pick then as well, but slipped to #8 because of rumors about his signability.  He liked Stanford and was so over pro baseball.  I mean, not exactly.  I’m paraphrasing.  Anyhow, it paid off for him and he went to the Astros who the TV analysts helpfully informed us are “really building”.  Most teams that get the #1 pick overall are not building, you know.

I think one of the highlights was Kohl Smith and his sewing machine.

Kohn Smith - Twins

Did he sew his own hat?  Did he sew his own shirt?  Can he sew things for me?  So many questions here.

Lastly, I want to talk about Ryne Stanek, who was picked 29th by the Tampa Bay Rays.  He said he models his game after Tim Lincecum.  I wonder how that’s working out for him?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Oh.  The Giants drafted someone who everyone hates.  You can read more about that here:

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Hibernation and Things

So as you guys know, I generally hibernate in the winter, but this year it’s stretched all the way into – er, is it June already?  Apparently so.  I haven’t been blogging, but I have been writing books/reading books/succeeding at waking up and eating toaster pops/drawing and making short films/getting an internship with some really lovely people who make fantastic coffee, too.  Things like that.  You’ll forgive me for not blogging, yes?

I won’t ask you to forgive these Giants, though.  I have a great deal of fondness for losing teams, in reality, and they’re certainly interesting to pick apart but… May was bad.  May was real bad.

train wreck

Hey, remember the train wreck photo?

We don’t have much of a sample size for June, but here’s hoping it’s better.   Actually, it would be difficult for it to be worse, but forget I said that because it seems a little like knocking on wood.

The injury bug has been going around, albeit not as badly as it could be.  Not like them Dodgers, at least.  Ryan Vogelsong’s injury was a big blow, especially after he seemed like he might have been getting back on track and Mike Kickham’s debut in his place was not encouraging.  Sabes and Bochy and all those people bit the bullet and started Chad Gaudin the other day and he was quite good indeed.  Only time will tell if he can continue to succeed, but it is things like that that make the narrative of the season interesting.  For instance, Ryan Vogelsong circa 2011.

I probably need to go sleep for a couple more months now, but I’ll be back eventually.  If anyone wants to hear what I thought of the punk theme at last month’s Met Gala or Evil Friends, which comes out tomorrow and may change your life, that can be arranged as well.

Stay safe, by which I mean stay off the road while I’m learning to drive.

Diamond Girl

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