Hello, people! It’s been a while, apparently. April basically slipped away from me, but it’s a new month now and I’m back(ish). So yeah, I spent the better part of last month doing important things like eating M&Ms and looking at pictures of cats with sunglasses and also writing a book, which wasn’t as important, but I did do that. Before that, I was actually trying to write a book that revolved partially around baseball but all the characters were turning out eerily like Buster Posey, so I sort of put that on hold for the time being.
Anyhow, baseball. 5 Things You Probably Don’t Have to Worry About Right this Minute.
5. Tim Lincecum. I think I’ve actually heard a few people say Happy Lincecum Day lately, which might point to the direction he seems to be heading. He’s not back in form, necessarily, but he’s getting there.
4. Matt Cain… who is decidedly not in form, but give it a little while you silly impatient people. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that.
3. Jeremy Affeldt who’s coming back from the DL soon hopefully back in old Jeremy Affeldt form and hopefully with a large staff of minions to make sure that he doesn’t do anything other than walk on and off the field. Affeldt obviously once taught humans how to use fire and getting injured all the time is the baseball gods answer to the Greek gods making Prometheus get his liver eaten out daily. Not entirely sure which punishment is worse.
2. Bruce Bochy’s Temper. Things got a little heated a lot of times in Arizona these past few days between Bochy and the umpires but I mean, wouldn’t you act that way if you had to hang out in Arizona for an extended period of time (more than, oh, half an hour)?
1. Actually anything to do with the Giants? After a claw-eyes-out-worthy rough patch there they finished April with a record of 15-12 and seem to be playing like they won’t make us cry all season, so stop worrying and start like enjoying life.
One thing worth worrying about might be that Brandon Belt has only ever been to two concerts in his life, both by the same band. People who give out free things to celebrities, you might want to get on that. (The Stones are coming to town! Or, you know, Joshua Radin, if that’s more his thing.)