Eli Whiteside is Ringo Starr and Other Facts of Life

As luck would have it, my EPSN Magazine subscription (it was real paper and everything… the “dead tree version”, they call it) ended last month.  Which means I’m missing out on their music-themed issue that’s coming out this month.  Now let’s just forget the fact that the whole concept’s a little shaky and they’re a sports magazine doing a music issue, which is just weird.  Aside from that!

I haven’t seen the magazine, so all I really know about it is that they recreate some album covers that they call iconic with professional athletes.  As I said.  Shaky concept.  Also, Katy Perry is nowhere near iconic and neither is Beyoncé.  Isn’t there like a minimum number of years – say, ten – before we can label stuff iconic?  No?  Well, there should be.

Another thing that should be mentioned about ESPN Magazine: they tend to forget that baseball exists.  So there’s just one photo with baseball players and it’s Justin Upton, Evan Longoria, Brandon Phillips, Giancario Stanton and Shane Victorino recreating Freedom of Choice, by Devo.

I feel sort of cheated, to be honest.  We (and by we, I mean MLB and by extension MLB fans) didn’t get Bob Dylan or Nirvana of MJ… hell, I would have settled for Katy Perry.

I took matters into my own hands.

Larry Baer got in on the fun.

As did, uh, Aaron Rowand.

And lastly Barry Zito as everyone’s favorite crazy diamond.

Take that, ESPN Magazine.

Diamond Girl