Monthly Archives: February 2013

This Just In: The Yankees Are Still the Best

“In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees,” wrote the judges. “Accordingly, we find that [the Yankees] have a protectable trademark right in the term . . . as used in connection with baseball.”

Yankees: Yes, We’re ‘Evil': http://on.wsj.com/13w2xkx

Happy Friday, everyone!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  To be clear, I mean the best in that THEY FOUGHT FOR THE TRADEMARK TO “EVIL EMPIRE” which is – let’s face it – pretty great.  My loyalties are still orange and black and I have not sold my soul to the pinstriped devil.  (Yet.  Any day now!)

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The Giants Had a HIMYM Marathon with Microwave Popcorn Today

Apparently the universe is a football fan.  (Or is the universe a plural?  The universe are footballs fans?)

Snow at Spring Training

Photo/@mlbPeteMcCarthy on Twitter

This was the scene at Spring Training in Arizona this morning with some rain and some hail and some, um, snow?  I have a hard time wrapping by head around that, but pictures or it didn’t happen doesn’t really apply because there are pictures.  Lots of pictures.  Bored beat writers at Spring Training love taking photos, you know.

Anyway, it sounds like the Giants sort of kicked it and did baseball related things indoors, which I assume means a How I Met Your Mother marathon and microwave popcorn.

Closer by committee is garnering some eyerolls but I mean it did work when these guys a World Series last year, so I don’t think it’s time to panic just yet.  The closer situation may become apparent in unexpected ways once they start playing games or something.

Madison Bumgarner thinks you should get your girlfriend/wife/imaginary girlfriend a baby calf for Valentine’s Day and also he hit Javier Lopez in the hand with a pitch and bruised him pretty badly.  Lopez is out for a few days, but should be back pretty soon.  Whether or not girlfriend/wife/imaginary girlfriend will ever be back after receiving that gift is anyone’s guess.

Diamond Girl

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I Mapped It.

Spring Training!  Finally a bit of news to get us off hair and weight… news like Tim Lincecum and Buster Posey’s seemingly media constructed feud is now over (yay?) and they shook hands after they were done with their first bullpen session.  So.   I guess that’s good.

I would just like to note, though, that if the alleged rift – Craig Calcaterra’s words, not mine – is for reals, I am Team Timmy because a) I’m a hipster like that b) if it came down to it, Buster has babies and Timmy has a dog.  The dog would probably win in an entirely theoretical showdown.

Tim Lincecum with speech bubble

Seriously, though, I don’t exactly doubt there’s some truth to the rumor.  It wouldn’t be surprising, in light of all the circumstances.  But Lincecum and Posey are both professionals and probably pretty hell-bent on winning, so what I doubt is that it’s really going to get in the way of anything.

Everyone’s said pretty much the same thing to the media: that they’re really excited to be defending the championship, especially without the pesky people from the reality show following them around.  Speaking of which, did J-Sanch every have a meltdown camera, like I predicted?  I think I stopped watching the show halfway through or so.  But if I missed a bona fide J-Sanch meltdown, I’ll be crushed.

Over in Surprise, Yu Darvish is taking AJ Pierzynski out to McDonalds, to help with their whole catcher-pitcher bonding thing.  I’m not, ahem, a huge Pierzynski fan but that is completely fabulous.   I mean, I’d obviously vote for Chipotle, but still.  I sort of see Yu as a white rice/black beans/steak/fajitas/sour cream kind of guy, you know?  And I’d tell him to watch Pierzynski with the guacamole, because sometimes they’re sort of stingy there and charge you for the extra guacamole.  Sounds like Yu’s paying, so…

Chipotle’s also 2.0 miles from Surprise Stadium, whereas McDonalds is 2.5 miles.

I mapped it.  Not enthusiastic about this idea at all.

Diamond Girl

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Baseball’s Hopping and the Rangers Are Having a Unique Offseason

Things are hopping in the baseball world.  This thing they call Fan Fest happened over the weekend, although I wasn’t there to, uh, enjoy it, I guess?  I have a hard time believing anyone enjoys Fan Fest, but what do I know.  I’ve gone twice before and pretty much hated it both times, plus those post-World Series crowds scare the hell out of me, so I got Chipotle and went to the beach and have a very nice Saturday indeed.

I did follow along on Twitter a bit and saw the Q&A sessions they did, which included asking Zito what his current favorite song was.  His response:

Barry Zito Bruno Mars tweet

Barry… we need to talk.  Man to man, or something.  Unconfirmed: they lock people who like Bruno Mars out of heaven.  I feel it is only right to tell you this.  Okay?  No hard feelings?

Speaking of the music, did you guys watch the Grammys?  I thought Jack White Being Jack White was pretty rocking, but his hair-flipping made me feel kind of bad.  Because my hair is still too short to flip like a rock star.  Waiting patiently.  Also accepting donations, should Jack be interested in giving me his hair.

Anyhow, everyone’s skipped town to Arizona now.  Catchers and pitchers report to camp tomorrow and position players follow on Friday, which means we only have a few more days of unadulterated, post-World-Series-win optimism before they can go ahead and do their best to pull off our rose colored glasses.

(Kidding.   I’m always a pessimist.)

Oh, and one more thing?  “Unique” seems to be Jon Daniels’ buzzword over in Texas this offseason.  He said the Rangers offered Josh Hamilton a “unique concept offer” – which he DECLINED, but that’s beside the point –and now he’s said that it would take a “something pretty unique” to get them to consider moving Jurickson Profar.  I love JD to bits, but maybe unique sorta isn’t working for them in the way that Fun. is not working for music?  Just a thought.

Diamond Girl

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Eli Whiteside is Ringo Starr and Other Facts of Life

As luck would have it, my EPSN Magazine subscription (it was real paper and everything… the “dead tree version”, they call it) ended last month.  Which means I’m missing out on their music-themed issue that’s coming out this month.  Now let’s just forget the fact that the whole concept’s a little shaky and they’re a sports magazine doing a music issue, which is just weird.  Aside from that!

I haven’t seen the magazine, so all I really know about it is that they recreate some album covers that they call iconic with professional athletes.  As I said.  Shaky concept.  Also, Katy Perry is nowhere near iconic and neither is Beyoncé.  Isn’t there like a minimum number of years – say, ten – before we can label stuff iconic?  No?  Well, there should be.

Another thing that should be mentioned about ESPN Magazine: they tend to forget that baseball exists.  So there’s just one photo with baseball players and it’s Justin Upton, Evan Longoria, Brandon Phillips, Giancario Stanton and Shane Victorino recreating Freedom of Choice, by Devo.

Devo1 Devo2

I feel sort of cheated, to be honest.  We (and by we, I mean MLB and by extension MLB fans) didn’t get Bob Dylan or Nirvana of MJ… hell, I would have settled for Katy Perry.

I took matters into my own hands.

Ramones - original Ramones (2)

Larry Baer got in on the fun.

Rubber Soul Rubber Soul3

As did, uh, Aaron Rowand.

The Madcap Laughs1The Madcap Laughs (2)

And lastly Barry Zito as everyone’s favorite crazy diamond.

Take that, ESPN Magazine.

Diamond Girl

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