Happy vacation from Los Angeles Where Everyone Looks at Me Like, Whoa, Hippie.
Speaking of hippies, Tim Lincecum did indeed cut his hair. I think it’s pretty rocking. But my haircut was still more exciting.
In this episode of My Offseason Was a Failure, Jon Daniels has said that while he did not mean to throw Josh Hamilton under the bus by saying he hated him, this offseason has been sort of lousy. “Disappointing,” was the word he used, I think, but sort of lousy works too. In Jon Daniels We Still trust, though, so I’m just hoping they can figure out how to make it a bit less lousy, because there are all sorts of great people still on the market and the team’s already pretty rad. Things will be fine.
In other (old) news, Eugenio Velez signed with the Blue Jays, which keeps them solidly in the spot of the smartest big spenders this offseason. I like these Blue Jays, I like them a lot. The AL East just got a lot more interesting – even more interesting than the Orioles totally being good, which was pretty interesting to begin with.
Trivia, y’all: Eugenio Velez started his career in Toronto back in 2001 but they weren’t that into him and the Giants claimed him in the Rule 5 draft a few years later.
Apparently they’re into him again, now? Let’s Get Back… Together, as the Giants slogan said.
The A’s are making moves because while all the other ordinary teams made moves at the Winter Meetings the A’s donotliketheWinterMeetingsatall. So they signed Hiroyuki Nakajima who said, in one of the best presser openings ever, that we could just call him Hiro. Other hilarious thing about this press conference was Billy Beane’s repeated emphasis on the fact that they were in on this and serious about this even though the media was not covering it Billy Beane was, like, a hipster before there were hipsters. He is also sexy and cool. Goes without saying.
In Giants news, Tim Lincecum may have cut his hair. Except I don’t think that guy looks like Tim Lincecum at all. Also, no one was this interested when I cut my hair.
Baseball teams do not care about their fans. I came to this realization today.
And I don’t say this for the reasons you think – it’s not the jawdropping prices on tickets and water (HUMAN NECESSITY, by the way) or the fact that they trade everyone’s favorite players or only give away their junky bobbleheads to a completely arbitrary number of people just so they can watch us get trampled/kill ourselves after all that time surrounded by raw and horrifying humanity.
No. I’m not talking about any of that. Although on second thought…
Still no. I’m talking about the alarming way that they all do things on the same day in the offseason. Weeks (okay, it’s actually days, but it’s the offseason and we’re baseball fans and it feels like weeks) go by with nothing happening except for the odd rumor about a player you may or may not have heard of going to a team you may or may not have heard of. I am partially kidding and partially looking at you, Indians.
And then suddenly they all decide on one day they’re going to tear up the World Wide Web and make all their moves and make their fans’ heads spontaneously combust.
Ahem. Josh Hamilton signed with the Angels today much to his surprise and her surprise and meanwhile, the Giants were all, LOL, that was just a joke, of course we want Andres Torres. And they signed him again. We fans responded, “Yes, duh, we were wondering what getting rid of him was about. Glad it was a joke. LOL or whatever.”
While I’m happy about the Torres move because hell, how could you not be, I am really hating the world because of the Josh Hamilton thing. Baseballisabusiness, but signing within the division is not a nice move under the best of circumstances, which are not Josh Hamilton’s, and if what the Rangers are saying is true, that Hamilton didn’t call them until the deal was all inked, then that doubly does not make Hamilton look very good. I am unusually angry at him.
I think Hamilton is an extraordinary player, but I think the Rangers will be all right without him. Likewise, I don’t think either of the cash-happy LA teams will finish in first place next season. Not even second place, if you peek in my crystal ball. The Rangers are in a very interesting position right now and I think they will certainly make some significant moves either now or at the trade deadline, while in the NL West, the Giants are eying the Dodgers but pretty much staying put, but I am of the opinion that both teams will be just fine. In addition to being the new Moneyball, in a strange turn of events.
But I can say with certainty that everyone will do silly giveaways for the first 20,000 fans and sell $8 water. It’s nice that some things never change.
Michael Young is a Phillie.
Oh, Despicable Me.
That was how I reacted. Michael Young was my unicorn in that he was like a fluffy stuffed animal and I was very attached to him and more specifically, attached to him as a Ranger. That man was a Ranger for a very long time. “How long, Obi Wan Kenobi?” Luke Skywalker might ask. “A very long time,” Obi Wan would answer.
Now I get that baseballisabusinessMichaelYoungisstillabaseballplayertheRangershadtodoit and all of that, but I’m still sad. These made-over Rangers are going to take some time to get used to. (Mike Napoli in Boston red, what is up with that.) I wish I had Gru to take me to the amusement park to get a new Michael Young in a Rangers uniform.
I blame Hollywood for giving us kids false perceptions of beauty and false hopes about what happens when our stuffed unicorns are disintegrated.
p.s. Presumably Young had some say/a lot of say in where he landed, yes? Which would mean that he chose Philadelphia? But who would willingly choose to live in Philadelphia and be a Phillie? I bet he and Cliff Lee are going to be besties.
(I don’t know your mother. No promises.)
The Winter Meetings are coming to a close and the path for the Giants has been surprisingly – eerily – straightforward? They leave Nashville with 2012 heroes Marco Scutaro and Angel Pagan resigned for a comfortable three and four years respectively and now we’re left to decorate our Christmas trees and negotiate a long-term extension with our catcher who, yeah, just won an MVP and stuff. Of course, the offseason is far from over and neither of the biggest free agents, Hamilton and Greinke, have signed anywhere yet, but for the Giants, the payroll is close to maxed out and aside from a platoon outfielder to rev up Gregor Blanco or a backup cupcake baker to… make cupcakes, I guess, they seem pretty much set. (I volunteer for backup cupcake baker.)
Against some odds, it looks like nearly the entire 2012 team will be back for another go at it, which is exciting and definitely different than the offseason after the 2010 championship. I am terribly excited about this.
Meanwhile, pretty much everyone else is in mega-rebuild mode which, if you’re the Yankees, means grabbing old Giants players and if you’re the Cubs means sitting back and being all, We got this (I sure hope they do – I have a running wager that they will win a World Series by 2016, so it better happen).
I think the most interesting development by far from these meetings, though, was the growing possibility that Hamilton will end up back in Texas after all. I mean, the attraction of DFW obviously made Yu Darvish choose the Rangers, but still, if it happens, it will be unexpected, considering early signs. I am secretly (well, not secretly anymore) hoping it does happen. Hamilton in any other colors would be too weird. People changing teams confuses me. Yeah, I’m obviously perfectly suited to being a baseball fan.
Speaking of which? Michael Young: Stay the hell put. Remember the kid you made cry when you and JD had a catfight? Yeah. That kid is a few years older and probably a few years cuter, too. Not a good idea to not be a Ranger anymore. Viral Video Land would have a field day.