Back when I had copious amounts of hair, of course.
Dear Bud Selig,
First of all, I would like to note that our conversations have been feeling a little one-sided lately. That’s a nice way of saying, Why the heck have you stopped answering my letters? I put them on lilac-scented paper and everything. Still, no answers. I don’t mind you knowing that I feel like you’re blocking me out and that’s pretty hurtful. Just answer me, okay? If you’ve forgotten how to mail letters like everyone else in the 21st century, just get your assistant to do it or whatever.
To the point: I’ve always been annoyed by the process of releasing the next season’s schedule at this time of year. Kind of random. Kind of right in the middle of the pennant race. Or the wild card race. Or the second wildcard race. Pennant race is such a passé phrase these days.
But even if you’re going to release them now, why make them so controversial? Now you may not understand why I find this controversial, but then again, you adore Interleague Play and as you know, I don’t. So yes, I do find it controversial. Bordering on offensive.
I used to be able to bear all the Interleague Play kookiness because it ended swiftly, before any of the real stuff kicked off after the All Star Break. No longer. Wikipedia and probably you too rationalized it with some mathematical stuff about the Astros moving to the American League necessitating Interleague Play being everywhere all the time, but I don’t really buy it. “This will force interleague play throughout the season,” it says. Really? Force?
I mean, if you must, make the whole first half of the season Interleague, but then stop it there. Seriously. And if you’re going to mess with nature – I mean, scheduling – then why not make an effort to make the final month of the season mostly games playing within the division. Because that’s pretty exciting. More exciting than the Cubbies and the Mariners facing off in the Saddest Event Since Eli Whiteside Face the Guy With the 10.30 ERA.
(Sure, the Cubbies are going to win the World Series in the next four years. But probably not next year. Even Theo Epstein’s magic has some limitations.)
Well, I’ve spouted off long enough. We actually have some important, non-Interleague games to play, and the Rockies were eliminated from division title contention last night, which just solidified my standing invitation to Dan O’Dowd for tea at my place. He still hasn’t taken me up on it yet, but maybe when the sting of the elimination wears off…?
Anyhow, get back to me ASAP. Thanks.