Monthly Archives: September 2012

Buster Posey and I

You guys are probably going to be suspicious of this, but I’ve noticed a very strange trend.  And I don’t lie on my blog.  (Usually.  There was that one time… but never mind.)  Anyway, just as Buster Posey gets smashed in the throat and promptly loses his voice, I get all croaky.  Seriously.  It’s not the first time, either.  I had sympathetic ankle pain when, y’know, That Thing We’re Not Going to Talk About happened.

Twinsies!  Except in a not-so-good way.  Let’s all hope Buster, and by extension I, stay all well and healthy, m’kay?  Marco Scutaro, too.  How is he supposed to ride Hunter Pence’s scooter when he’s coughing and sneezing up a storm?  We have the playoffs to look forward too, people.  Have some Italian sodas and rest up, for Pete’s sake, Giants.

The game is starting anyminuteanyminute now, so I’ll catch you all later.  And when we’re all not sick.

Diamond Girl

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A Consolatory Beanie and Some Conspiracy Theories

Hello, people, and apologies for my absence!  I’ve had a bit of a crazy few days/been quietly enjoying the fact that we have meaningless September baseball/Green Day has a new album out and so there’s that/my silly sister is moving halfway across the world and making me all weepy.

Meaningless September baseball is surprisingly fun, though – especially when the team knocks my sparkly flip-flops off and makes it seem like it is completely meaningful.  It’s a bit like Spring Training, except with cinnamon gingerbread lattes and a guaranteed playoff spot.  They just finished up their last homestand, taking two out of three from the Diamondbacks (who are the Diamondbacks, but that’s a different story) and are hitting San Diego and LA one last time to wrap up the season.

Matt Cain did everything and then some, Barry Zito did everything and then some and Tim Lincecum kind of floundered and made us all feel badly for criticizing him because, guys, he missed the celebration when they clinched and looked altogether like a sad puppy.

I mean, he always kind of looks like a sad puppy.  But now more than ever.  I want to hand him a consolatory beanie and say, It’s meaningless September baseball!  You’ll be fine!  (Or you won’t be.  And you’ll develop a massive chip on your shoulder about it, a la Barry, and then be fantastic a few years later so, lo, everything I said was true and you will be fine even if it’s not necessarily all that soon.)

The Giants were a sight to see travelling yesterday evening, because it was rookie hazing day.

One question, though.  A few people said they hazed the rookies and sophomores, because they didn’t do it last year.  Is that true?  Because you know how I love a good conspiracy theory.  And this one is too good to pass up.  Maybe… they were possessed by magnetic-drawn robots that love metal, but mysteriously hate dress-up.  Maybe… they had someone on the team who had a fear of clowns (common phobia!) and for a reason to be named later, that was the only costume they could have done.  Or maybe Sabes was in a nasty mood and rained on their parade.  Which isn’t all that good a conspiracy theory at all.

Or maybe it was reported on at the time and I just have the memory of a goldfish?   Yes.  That seems likely.

Diamond Girl

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Throwing Peanuts and John Bowker and Stuff

I’m one of those annoying people who has a word quota for every day and once I’ve reached it, I pretty much can’t squeeze out any more (written) words.  Books do tend to steal all your words, so this is going to have to be brief.  Blame the endless streetlight descriptions.  I have a serious and slightly problematic affinity for long streetlight descriptions.  They pop up in pretty much everything I’ve ever written.

But I digress…

Now that the division’s all clinched and all the regulars are resting up in favor of lineups that feature Justin Christian and John Bowker – oh, wait, are we out of the John Bowker era now? – there are just a few questions left to answer, before the playoffs start.  One of them is the Melky question.  The MCM (Melky Cabrera mess, in case you’ve forgotten) persists.  Sergio Romo went on the radio yesterday and basically said he doesn’t see any reason for Melky not to be on the playoff roster, once he becomes eligible, and then today Bochy made some typically cryptic Bochy comments that seemed to suggest precisely the opposite.  Decoded, he said nowaynohow Melky will on the playoff roster.

Way to throw the peanut gallery a bone, guys!  By the peanut gallery I mean bloggers like yours truly.  And by a bone I mean something to talk about other than the funny lineups.

As I see it, Melky absolutely won’t make the roster.  And I think that’s as it should be.  For every win the Giants got with him on the team in the playoffs, there would be whisperings and there would be what-ifs, from both us Giants fans and from opposing teams, as well.  Certainly, there are what-ifs if he doesn’t make the roster as well, because, face it, the guy is really good, but San Francisco made the push that got them into the playoffs after his suspension.  This team, minus Melky, deserves the playoff run.

::throws peanuts::

Okay.  No more words left.  This is the end.

Diamond Girl

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25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day

I always think I’m going to love off-days.  I’m going to get loads done and not miss baseball irrationally (it’s just one day!), but when it comes down to it, I hate off-days.  I’m not accustomed to this practice of doing normal, humanbeing things like not scheduling my day around a baseball game.  It confuses me.  I don’t get much done at all.  So!  With that in mind, I decided to make a helpful post – don’t you love those? – 25 Ways to Occupy Yourself On an Off-Day.  Without further ado…

25.  Take “occupy” literally.  Choose someone who’s been really annoying you lately and just occupy their space.  Your boss’s desk is a great example.  Get some markers and make a sign or two, bring your old tent and you’re good to do.  Easy peasy.  (I do not take responsibility if you lose your job, though.  Being a rebel does have occupational hazards.)

24.  Take up basket-weaving.  I hear it’s fun and super time consuming.

23.  Get a pair of shearing scissors and offer free haircuts on the street.  People will love you.

22.  Brush up on your Buster Bash skills.  You can never have too many sunflower seeds.

21.  Make a list of all your best Jose Altuve jokes and publish it on the internet.

20.  Better still, make a list of your ways to stay occupied and post it on the internet.  Hey, that actually sounds like a good idea!

19.  Petition Bud Selig to eliminate off-days.  It worked real well with the whole Emily-for-Commish thing.

18.  Blame Diamond Girl for this atrocity because of that sign she made way back when.

17.  Make cupcakes.  Just ‘cause.

16.  Head to the bookstore or your Kindle (whichismurderingpreciousprintbutwtvr) and read some positive psychology books.  The Giants will be so rested!  They’ll beat AZ!  Off-days are awesome!

15.  Cry.  Stock up on mocha ice cream.  You know the end of this story.

14.  Make MLB Memes and send them to your friends.  Refresh your email and glower when nobody answers in ten minutes.

13.  Post a few cryptic Facebook statuses that are totally directed at your football-watching friends.

12.  Watch The Hobbit trailer a few(hundred) times.  Smiley face.

11.  Watch a baseball movie or two.  Not recommended.  Baseball movies are unanimously awful, in my opinion, but you all disagree so proceed.  I will not say a word.  (More.)

10.  Try to paint your nails orange and black, like Brian Wilson’sFail.  Move on.

9.  Listen to 2010 top hits.  You now have two options:  a) Get teary eyed and reminiscent b) Thank Higher Power of Choice That We Are Not in 2010 Anymore Because That Music Was God-Awful.

8.  Politely but firmly beg Sergio Romo to confine his tweets to 140 characters.

7.  Read certain stats about the Reds.  NLDS is unwinnable.  Get depressed.

6.  Read other stats about the Reds.  We got this thing!  Get excited.

5.  Enter the Giants lottery for the opportunity to buy playoff tickets.  Prepare to live in abject poverty for the rest of your life, but it will have been worth it.

4.  Polish up your proposal of marriage to Marco Scutaro and send it off.  Start shopping for rings.

3.  Also get a caterer and reserve the venue and send out save-the-dates with the groom’s name TBA.  Normal behavior and Marco will think it’s adorable.

2.  Come up with a new playoff superstition.  You know not washing your shirt doesn’t work, right?  Right?

1.  Do not, under any circumstances, do what I just did.

Diamond Girl

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Cloudy With a Chance of Winning

The day of clinching is a grab-the-popcorn and cross your fingers kind of day.  The day after clinching is quite the opposite.  It’s a slow, lazy, happy sort of day.  But it was as soon as today’s lineup hit the internet that the reality began to set in.  The reality being that Giants are the 2012 National League West Champions.   2012.  National. League.  West.  Champions.

Blanco CF, Theriot 2B, Arias 3B, Nady LF, Pill 1B, Peguero RF, Whiteside C, Burriss SS and Petit RHP.

For the second time in three years, which is not bad at all.  A sense of inevitability set in, oh, every time Marco Scutaro came up to bat and when, a few thousand pitching changes later, they did clinch it, I was ridiculously happy.  Even happier, I think, than 2010.  The comparisons are many and unavoidable, but I think these two teams, in many ways, couldn’t be more opposite.  And I’ll go on record saying I think this one is better.  It’s anyone’s guess how the postseason will go – cloudy with a chance of winning, if you ask me – but I think we’ve got a really solid group here for a few years to come.

And that’s a gratifying feeling.  It gives way to elation, because this is just the beginning.  Bochy said that chances are all five starters will make the postseason roster, one of them as a reliever, and it seems right now that the Giants will be opening the NLDS against Cincinnati.  I’m already getting excited for it.  The way last night’s game ended, with all that fantastic relief pitching, was one of the big things that’s been key to the Giants success this season and that Pablo Sandoval catch was also completely spectacular, even if it wasn’t quite a Jonathan Sanchez triple.  We missed a year, but we’re back and better than ever.  Weird lineups and 2012 postseason, we’re ready for you.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  They lost today.  But I’m still smiling, so go figure.

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