So that was a pretty marvelous road trip. We’ve all heard about those teams that do well at home but are morbidly bad when they go on the road. Zack Greinke famously offered up bad hotel coffee as his reason for allowing billions of runs on the road. The Giants might offer up, oh, a ballpark that is permanently socked in with fog and has walls that stretch all the way to Southern California as their reason for not being able to really ever (never) score runs at home. Greinke needs to just bring his own coffee maker. The Giants solution is probably not so simple. Global warming might help. I’m not an Inconvenient Truth expert, but that’s not a short-term solution. It’s going to get warmer before it gets colder and stuff, right?
a) Borrow Coors Field. Prop up San Francisco so that it’s at altitude.
b) Borrow Busch Stadium. Make San Francisco 100 degrees all the time.
c) Get ridiculously good hitter off of waivers. Ridiculously good hitter who’s also ridiculously expensive, so nobody else will claim him. Winning the lottery would also help. ‘Cause we’re kind of poor right now, according to Sabes et al.
d) Have Ryan Vogelsong pitch every day. Then we don’t have to score that many runs. Any runs. Ryan VogelALLOWSNORUNS.
e) Score more runs. Why am I not a GM, guys? I have the most brilliant ideas.
They did win 15-0 last night. They may or may not actually need my suggestions. They’re kicking off a home series against the Rockies tomorrow night (smiley face – the Rockies, people) and things may very well continue being rosy. With Brian Sabean’s Brainchild Marco Scutaro in the lineup? Uh-huh. This may very well continue being rosy.
Also, I am making frappuccino cupcakes right now so I’ll have more patience with the Giants foibles. Frappuccino cupcakes make everything better.